Vent Failed to Convince Neighbor to Continue to RF :-(

StillThankful

New member
Hey family,

I tried to convince my neighbor to keep her 18 month old daughter rear facing but she wouldn't heed my advice. I even sent her and her mother (b/c she's only 18 and still lives with mom, so I also told her to share the info with her mother) articles about why rear facing is so important.

After I found out she turned her daughter forward face in an infant seat,:eek: I calmy told her that infant seats were for Rfing only. She told me that her doctor told her she could now ff her in that seat because she is one year old. I then read the label on the car seat for her, which read that the car seat is intended for rearfacing only. She said nonchalantly "oh" and then said she would rf her. I told her that since her daughter is 22 pounds, she is at the max and recommended the Cosco Scenera b/c of her budget. I found that seat at KMART for $35--thankfully her child's father purchased the seat.

I then explained the RF vs. FF thing but she told me that her mother wanted her daughter to FF. As a consolation prize (I guess), she will RF her when she rides with me.

Therefore, the good out of this is that, at least, she got a proper seat for her. The obvious bad, is that her little girl is FF--she is a very small 18 month old too and sooooo cute.

Another thing that bothered me was that the harness straps were soooo loose on her daughter. I explained several times in the past that they had to be tight enough to not pinch if you tried to do so. The infant seat had harness adjusting from the rear and she said she didn't know how to do it. Recently, I noticed that the straps are still loose so I said something--she said they were loose b/c of her coat and now that she doesn't wear her coat, it's loose. Thankfully, we don't have to worry about that anymore.

Just say a prayer for her and her little, precious, beautiful girl. I can lead the horse to the water, but I can't make it drink.
 
ADS

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
If she is a very small 18mo, she may not be able to forward-face in a Scenera -- Dorel has a 34" minimum to forward-face.
 

steph_s

New member
Is it bad that I often recommend Dorel seats to people because of their 34" ff rule? Seems like the kids in my family grow really slow before age 3 so if I get them to get say a scenera with a decent rf limit and their 34" rule it helps. Then once they are able to turn them around I know they won't be eh the child anyways so it is a bit of a lost cause. Most of the kids in my family are boostered around age 4-5. Too bad the kids tend to get to 40lbs and 4 years old right when they outgrow the scenera huh.
 

bobandjess99

Senior Community Member
I just left a message on her voicemail w/ that important info:) Thanks!

The website even emphasizes tha 34 inch FF rule, if she wants to go look at it. IT;'s in the FAQs, something like "does my child REALLY need to be 34 inches to FF?" and the answer i YES!
 

Qarin

New member
A forward-facing 18month old in a seat designed for forward-facing is much safer than one forward-facing in an infant seat.

I like the phrase "snug as a hug" to describe harness tightness- I'll show about pinching and all, but I feel like the cute rhyming phrase probably sticks a little better; and I'll point out that, unlike a grownup's seatbelt, the car seat harness has no retractor that locks, so the harness has to already be snug as a hug in a sudden stop so that it holds the baby.

I like that Cosco has the 34" rule, but on the other hand if I were that teenaged mom I'd be kind of angry that you'd recommended a seat, which the baby daddy went and bought ($35 isnt "a lot", but it's a couple of bags of groceries to someone just getting by, or several six-packs of beer to someone with less sense of personal responsibility), which does not work for how you knew I wanted to secure my child. Too late now about that, but just saying... I don't think this mom is going to rush out and turn that seat back around when she'd had her infant seat installed forward-facing before she got it.
 

StillThankful

New member
A forward-facing 18month old in a seat designed for forward-facing is much safer than one forward-facing in an infant seat.

I like the phrase "snug as a hug" to describe harness tightness- I'll show about pinching and all, but I feel like the cute rhyming phrase probably sticks a little better; and I'll point out that, unlike a grownup's seatbelt, the car seat harness has no retractor that locks, so the harness has to already be snug as a hug in a sudden stop so that it holds the baby.

I like that Cosco has the 34" rule, but on the other hand if I were that teenaged mom I'd be kind of angry that you'd recommended a seat, which the baby daddy went and bought ($35 isnt "a lot", but it's a couple of bags of groceries to someone just getting by, or several six-packs of beer to someone with less sense of personal responsibility), which does not work for how you knew I wanted to secure my child. Too late now about that, but just saying... I don't think this mom is going to rush out and turn that seat back around when she'd had her infant seat installed forward-facing before she got it.

I like the "snug as a hug."

And yes. I guess I messed up recommending the Cosco Scenera b/c I wasn't aware of the 34" rule. I was just thinking about the price b/c she absolutely said she couldn't afford a $100 seat--I first recommended getting a WIC seat and she said she had one a while ago and gave hers away b/c it was too hard. Then I showed her my WIC seat and she said she wanted one like mine b/c it looked different than the one she had.

Then KMART had a sale on the Scenaras with the girly cover for $35 and she preferred that one over the WIC seat.

I just freaked out b/c they had her FF in an infant seat--I didn't even think to check about the height requirement for FF b/c my intention was to "sell" her on rearfacing:-(

Thankfully, she gets food stamps--so the purchase didn't take any food out of their mouths. But, I get your point.

I agree and doubt that she will turn her child back around to rear face. I left a voicemail message and emailed her though. We'll see what happens. Worst case scenario is that she is, in fact, mad at me for the recommendation of the seat--I will then buy the seat from her and give her my WIC seat.
 

Qarin

New member
I guess I'm mostly just saying, don't have a heart attack about it. Help her install it well forward-facing, tether it if at all possible, make sure the harness is at the right height above the baby's shoulders and teach her to adjust its snugness.

And then... let it go.
 

StillThankful

New member
I guess I'm mostly just saying, don't have a heart attack about it. Help her install it well forward-facing, tether it if at all possible, make sure the harness is at the right height above the baby's shoulders and teach her to adjust its snugness.

And then... let it go.

The problem is that the carseat won't be installed in just one car. She doesn't drive and so it will be installed and uninstalled on a regular basis in a person's vehicle that is giving her a ride that day. So that being said, your advice is duly noted.
 

ProudMommysince09

New member
Im right there with you in your frustration. I saw a maybe 7mos old FF in a Cosco Scenera today and she was a tiny one too. The carseat looked improperly installed and I wish I had known about the 34" FF rule. But what do you do in a situation like that, can you just knock on a strangers window and tell them?:confused:
 

Joyofbirth

New member
I like the phrase "snug as a hug" to describe harness tightness- I'll show about pinching and all, but I feel like the cute rhyming phrase probably sticks a little better; and I'll point out that, unlike a grownup's seatbelt, the car seat harness has no retractor that locks, so the harness has to already be snug as a hug in a sudden stop so that it holds the baby.

I like this too. My dd1 buckles herself in her Regent. I always ask her if she's snug as a bug and when she says yes, I ask her "And I can't pinch an inch?". If I forget to ask, both girls remind me. Sometimes she beats me to it. I'm thinking I'll ask her if she likes snug as a hug better, it's cuter.
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
Im right there with you in your frustration. I saw a maybe 7mos old FF in a Cosco Scenera today and she was a tiny one too. The carseat looked improperly installed and I wish I had known about the 34" FF rule. But what do you do in a situation like that, can you just knock on a strangers window and tell them?:confused:

How would you feel if a stranger knocked on your window to tell you what you were doing wrong with your child?
 

Evolily

New member
Im right there with you in your frustration. I saw a maybe 7mos old FF in a Cosco Scenera today and she was a tiny one too. The carseat looked improperly installed and I wish I had known about the 34" FF rule. But what do you do in a situation like that, can you just knock on a strangers window and tell them?:confused:

A better approach may be to leave an anonymous note expressing concern about the child's seat installation and a number to safe kids (preferably with no way to contact you).

If a child is unrestrained in a moving vehicle you can and should call the police (there are also situations where a child may be so improperly restrained calling the police may be a smart option- RFing in front of an airbag, having only the chest clip fastened, having the car seat unsecured, etc). It's also possible that your state has an anonymous reporting hotline- a few do, here in IL we have www.bucklebuddy.org .

But, really, most people don't care, and criticizing another person often just leads to defensiveness. The best approach is to educate the willing and encourage others to seek help from licensed technicians.
 

Mom2FiveGirls

Active member
The problem is that the carseat won't be installed in just one car. She doesn't drive and so it will be installed and uninstalled on a regular basis in a person's vehicle that is giving her a ride that day. So that being said, your advice is duly noted.

Well, if she's going to be installing and uninstalling it a lot, then maybe its best that she's FFing. IMO, its easier to get a good install with the scenera FFing than it is RFing. I have to use pool noodles and fight with the scenera to get a good RFing install in both mine and DH's vehicles. I know RFing is best and everything, but a properly installed FFing seat is better than a improperly installed RFing seat. I just can't imagine installing a RFing scenera several times a week...makes me want to cry just thinking about it.
 

Heather86

Member
Well, if she's going to be installing and uninstalling it a lot, then maybe its best that she's FFing. IMO, its easier to get a good install with the scenera FFing than it is RFing. I have to use pool noodles and fight with the scenera to get a good RFing install in both mine and DH's vehicles. I know RFing is best and everything, but a properly installed FFing seat is better than a improperly installed RFing seat. I just can't imagine installing a RFing scenera several times a week...makes me want to cry just thinking about it.

I had issues in every car we put one in as well. It took a good min and some working with to get it right. I agree about a properly used ff seat. If you can teach her how to get the best possible install then that's a lot safer than rf 1/2 installed :twocents:
 

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