Vent What should i say to her?

heyheykk13 · Apr 14, 2010

Today i took chloe to her dcp and i look in her car and her car seat if ff still in recline mode straps not raised not tethered and im sure seat belt not locked. Ive seen her install that other little girls seat and she did a horrifying job!

i was about to have a panic attack knowing that she did that and that she has been driving her around like that for 2 days and will be today! I was going to say something to her but i had to be to work. Im so worried about it! Just the fact that i specifically told her she must be rf till 2 if not more! What would you do and say to her?

swtgi1982 · Apr 14, 2010

heyheykk13 said:
Today i took chloe to her dcp and i look in her car and her car seat if ff still in recline mode straps not raised not tethered and im sure seat belt not locked. Ive seen her install that other little girls seat and she did a horrifying job! i was about to have a panic attack knowing that she did that and that she has been driving her around like that for 2 days and will be today! I was going to say something to her but i had to be to work. Im so worried about it! Just the fact that i specifically told her she must be rf till 2 if not more! What would you do and say to her?

I would tell her that you would like to install your DD seat, and that it is to stay that way! You are the parent not her! Do not let someone else risk your child's life speak up and be persistent even if she does not like it!

I know I had to with DS1 with his DCP as well. He was not even one yet, and since we used a convertible because he was to big for infant seat, she had him FF!

BW1426 · Apr 14, 2010

If you specifically told her she had to be rearfacing until two and she chose to completely disregard that information I would be very, very upset. I'd sit down and have a conversation with her. Depending on how that conversation goes I'd either be having a serious carseat installing lesson or pulling my child.

I don't care what we're talking about. If you tell someone watching your child to do something in a particular way or to not do something and they completely disregard that, it's time to start exploring other options :twocents:

My concern is if she's that negligent in installation and listening to your requests, how can you be sure she's even buckling her in properly?

carseatcoach · Apr 14, 2010

At the very least, say that the child is not to be in the car at all that day until you have time to fix the seat. I understand about being late for work, but you are the parent and you must not let your child ride unsafely.

tiggercat · Apr 14, 2010

I would have been late in order to reinstall the seat RF correctly and told her under no circumstances was she to move the seat. If she takes it out, you need to be informed so you can reinstall correctly.

HEVY · Apr 14, 2010

BW1426 said:
My concern is if she's that negligent in installation and listening to your requests, how can you be sure she's even buckling her in properly?

Or anything else you've instructed her to do with your DD. My experience is if they disregard/disrespect you in one way they'll do it in other ways as well.

mommycat · Apr 14, 2010

Yikes, yes. That's a pretty big thing for her to disregard your wishes on (though she may not see it that way, you should let her know that you DO see it that seriously). If it was just FF but adjusted properly, I would probably wait, but if I saw it the way you describe then I would not have left until it was fixed. Lets hope she just had the seat out to transport someone else in the back and temporarily set it back and buckled in quickly because she didn't have a chance to reinstall properly yet. Go easy talking to her until you have her side of the facts straight.

steph_s · Apr 14, 2010

I see things like this as a major safety violation! You have informed her (I suspect since you said rf till at least 2) that rf is safer and she choose to disregard it. Furthermore as a child care provider you would think she would take at least some time to either read through the manual to get the seats in properly or take them to someone who can get them in properly and show them how to use them. To me this is neglect no different than if she allowed your child to play out front of the house too close to the road or wasn't supervising her around a swimming pool. :twocents:

As for right now, I would call the dcp and inform her that you do not want your child taken anywhere today since you saw the state of the car seats and that they are unsafe for your child. I would then after work when you have more time insist she learns how to install seats in her vehicle in the safest way possible. If she is resistant to this or you find out she took your dd or didn't install the seats correctly again I would find a new sitter!

Carrie_R · Apr 14, 2010

After verifying that she was actually transporting like that, and asking for an explanation, unless there's a misunderstanding, I would pull your child.

I guarantee you, if she's disregarding your wishes on this one visible area, there are other areas (not yet visible or not ever visible) in which she is lacking as well.

As a dcp/nanny, I have had some pretty random requests that I've been asked to comply with. For instance, I have a family who wants their children to not be fed grapes. They have a legitimate reason, but it's still kind of random and a bit disruptive at times. Nonetheless, it's what they've requested and therefore I follow it. My dcp don't ask me for many things, because they know I am both reasonable and responsible, so I know that the few things they do ask are important to them.

A dcp should either (a) be prepared to follow the requests of the parent, or (b) explain to them why they can/will not follow them, and then allow the parent to make the decision on the importance of the request vs. the importance of having the child in that particular daycare. If they are not forthcoming about their inability or unwillingness in any given area... that's a problem.

If the dcp is super, awesome, you love her to death, then an additional request of "either install the seat correctly or do not transport" should suffice, and if it does not, you need to find a new dcp. If she gives you attiude when you make your request, then I would venture to say it's not a good environment for your daughter.

JMO. :twocents:

autumnlily · Apr 14, 2010

We pulled our DD from a daycare who fed the 2 year olds popcorn and peanut butter - my child in specific after I sent a written and verbal notification not to.

We pulled her that day and demanded (and it was honored) a refund for the rest of the month.

She is risking your DD's lively hood and as a DCP she should have the will and drive to want to be the best at anything she does with someone else's child - including, CPR, First Aid, sleeping, discipline and car safety.

safeinthecar · Apr 14, 2010

This is an example of how to approach someone about car seat misuse.

Chloe's mom, I was looking at your siggy pic and it looks to me like her seat is over-reclined. Do you have time to talk about that for a moment, or would tomorrow before work be better for you?

Substitute siggy pic for car, and over-reclined for installed incorrectly and there you go.

The seat in your pic does look over-reclined BTW, pics can be weird though.

TechnoGranola · Apr 14, 2010

If you've left your child at her place with an incorrectly installed child restraint, talking to her really can't wait. You either have to leave work and go install her seat properly or call the DCP and let her know that she cannot drive anywhere with your child today. Your child is at serious increased risk for injury or death in a child restraint installed completely contrary to the manufacturer's instructions.

Personally, I would not have left her place without resolving the situation. Either I would have installed the seat properly and been late for work, telling the DCP it *must* stay like this for my child to ride in it and I would have a proper discussion about it with her when I wasn't in a rush, OR I would have grabbed my child's seat and my child and left. Figuring everything else out after the fact.

heyheykk13 · Apr 15, 2010

Well today my mom dropped her off,i told my mom a million times to tell her not to take her anywhere but she didnt!

She told me im crazy, and it doenst matter. Today i went with her to pick her up and i asked her if i can fix her car seat and she says whats wrong with it? Then we talked and she say i dont want it rear facing bcause its hard to take it out when people ride in my car

and then she goes on to say since ive had her ff she is better in tha car and can see out tha window... So i guess she will be ff

but i did reinstall it.... If i had custody of her i would definitely not be using her anymore!!! I really do not like her! She thinks im stupid and dont know how to care for a child. Well hopefully during tha summer i will have tha time to watch her during tha day!

heyheykk13 · Apr 15, 2010

safeinthecar said:
This is an example of how to approach someone about car seat misuse.

Chloe's mom, I was looking at your siggy pic and it looks to me like her seat is over-reclined. Do you have time to talk about that for a moment, or would tomorrow before work be better for you?

Substitute siggy pic for car, and over-reclined for installed incorrectly and there you go.

The seat in your pic does look over-reclined BTW, pics can be weird though.

Its not over reclined its probably just tha angle of tha picture but thanks

TechnoGranola · Apr 15, 2010

heyheykk13 said:
Well today my mom dropped her off,i told my mom a million times to tell her not to take her anywhere but she didnt! She told me im crazy, and it doenst matter. Today i went with her to pick her up and i asked her if i can fix her car seat and she says whats wrong with it? Then we talked and she say i dont want it rear facing bcause its hard to take it out when people ride in my car and then she goes on to say since ive had her ff she is better in tha car and can see out tha window... So i guess she will be ff but i did reinstall it.... If i had custody of her i would definitely not be using her anymore!!! I really do not like her! She thinks im stupid and dont know how to care for a child. Well hopefully during tha summer i will have tha time to watch her during tha day!

Am I understanding this correctly, the daycare provider doesn't have to listen to you because you don't have custody of the child? Does the person who does have custody care about how the child's seat is facing or will they listen to you? Can you speak to that person and have them talk to the DCP?

xxluckychicxx · Apr 15, 2010

What seat is in the DCP car? If its a Dorel seat your DD has to be 34in to ride FF

heyheykk13 · Apr 15, 2010

My mom has power of attorney at tha moment. No she doesnt care

i showed her tha video about joel a little bit ago and she said do you know how many people use to ride standing in tha front seat?

Really she has to be 34ins?

shes 32 and all legs. Uhhh i wish someone would listen to me

NannyMom · Apr 15, 2010

I might be wrong, but I think the child is OP's little sister.

xxluckychicxx · Apr 15, 2010

heyheykk13 said:
My mom has power of attorney at tha moment. No she doesnt care i showed her tha video about joel a little bit ago and she said do you know how many people use to ride standing in tha front seat?

Really she has to be 34ins? shes 32 and all legs. Uhhh i wish someone would listen to me

Is the Scenera in DCP car? If so, then yes. I'd point out that its illegal.

heyheykk13 · Apr 15, 2010

She is my niece. Im not 18 yet or else i would have custody.

Yea shhes in the Scenera. I will tell my mom mabe that will help...

Vent What should i say to her?

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