Small 6 year old

mom_not_the_maid · Apr 11, 2010

Hi everyone, its been awhile since I last posted and I wanted to update everyone on our adoption progress. We are getting the word from our social worker that it should be by the end of this month that we will be able to sign the papers and legally adopt her!! We cant wait!! Our social worker has shown us all her medical history and asside from numerous visits to the ER, she has no long term issues healthwise. It will take some time to gain her confidence to work on her mental and emotional problems but we will work on that when the time comes.

As I mentioned in my last post, she still has issues and I am not sure exactly how to manage. She is still not completely potty trained and I am looking for some suggestions on how to deal with that when driving. We did purchace a Regent and she has plenty of room to grow and wont be needing to buy anything else for a long time. Is there anyone thats had an older child that still has problems when in the car or traveling? At home we are doing alot of reminding and prasing but its a bit different in the car. Right now, I just have her seat lined with towels with a garbage bag underneath them and while it does help a little, I cant help but notice how uncomfortable it would make her to have to sit in it.

I appreciate all the suggestions you can offer me and I would like to ask if some of you can pray for me to make the adoption process as quick and painless as possible. Thank you everyone for your time!

Bonnie

BookMama · Apr 11, 2010

Glad to hear the good news!

If you're just worried about keeping the Regent clean in case of accidents, you could try using puppy piddle pads, or "chuks" medical pads. Both are pretty absorbent and should be able to handle any accidents.

I've done the plastic bag under towels trick a few times and my kids haven't complained. :twocents:

mom_not_the_maid · Apr 11, 2010

Thank you book, I never thought about getting the puppy pads since we dont have a dog lol I am going to bring her to another dr as soon as we gain custody to rule out anything the previous dr's might have missed. I am trying to offer her pediasure to help with the weight problem but its a stuggle and I dont want to force her to try something she doesnt like. I have noticed that she only likes soft food and wont eat anything that requires alot of chewing or use of utensils other then a spoon so we are working on that as well. Thats a tough one, not sure how to get her past that. She has no set bedtime our routine at the foster parents house as they pretty much let her do anything she wants. I know we have to enforce rules here but I am hoping to ease her into them. I do have a question. She seems to fall asleep pretty quickly when in the car and was told thats when the majority of the potty mishaps happen, and was wondering if its normal for a child to fall asleep that quickly, usually within 15 minutes of driving. I am learning as I go so if anyone would like to offer any tips or suggestions, please feel free to. Thank you everyone for your time.

Bonnie

Maedze · Apr 11, 2010

Totally normal :thumbsup:

I have a 5.5 year old who hasn't needed daily naps since he was about two, and the car is seriously a 'lights-out' mental switch for him.

There are days we haven't even reached the end of our road (1/2 mile) and he's completely unconscious.

mom_not_the_maid · Apr 11, 2010

We went to the mall yesterday and I would guess that she was out within 10 minutes of driving. Once we gain custody, we are planning on taking a trip to see my family (they all pretty much live in Wisconsin) and its about a 9 hr trip. Thats going to be an experience for all of us lol I am definatly going to invest in those puppy pads and see if the will help. I think we are going to be packing more toys for her then clothes lol Is there anything else I should bring for the long trip? Thank you again everyone!

Bonnie

Maedze · Apr 11, 2010

Plan to stop every two hours or so to let her stretch her legs and use the toilet

emandbri · Apr 11, 2010

Do you think she would freak if you put her in a pull up? I would explain that it is only in case she falls asleep.

I don't know if britax has any but it might be worth it to call to see if you can buy an extra cover.

mom_not_the_maid · Apr 11, 2010

emandbri said:
Do you think she would freak if you put her in a pull up? I would explain that it is only in case she falls asleep.

I don't know if britax has any but it might be worth it to call to see if you can buy an extra cover.

I dont really know how she would react. The only thing her foster parents do now is bring extra clothes for her which I think is unsanitary if you ask me. In regards to the pull ups, I have heard mixed opinions about them so I dont know if pull ups are the way to go. My friend mentioned to me awhile back that they have chemicals in them and she couldnt use them with her then 3 year old at night because they gave him rashes. She had to move him to cloth at night (fussi buns I think was the name of them) but I dont know anything about cloth and would think that cloth is alot harder to manage then the throw-a-ways. I guess I would need to talk to her first and see what she thinks but in the long run, I cant have her just sit in it either. Thank you for the suggestion!

Bonnie

BabyKaykes · Apr 11, 2010

I'n not sure I would put a pullup on a 6yo. If she is really not fully potty-trained, I don't think there's much progress to be had in a glorified diaper. Not sure of her mental status or maturity level, but I'd try cloth trainers (not diapers) FIRST as they're more like underwear than diapers - which I venture to guess would be embarrassing for any 6yo.

Cloth isn't really any harder than disposable. You just need a waterproof bag to hold it until it can be washed. Places like Lader Hill Designs have really awesome trainers than can be used like underwear, but unbottoned if needed.

wendytthomas · Apr 11, 2010

It's not the falling asleep, it's that people pee when they wake. I'd have a portable potty and potty her when she wakes (my six month old does this).

Wendy

mom_not_the_maid · Apr 11, 2010

BabyKaykes said:
I'n not sure I would put a pullup on a 6yo. If she is really not fully potty-trained, I don't think there's much progress to be had in a glorified diaper. Not sure of her mental status or maturity level, but I'd try cloth trainers (not diapers) FIRST as they're more like underwear than diapers - which I venture to guess would be embarrassing for any 6yo.

Cloth isn't really any harder than disposable. You just need a waterproof bag to hold it until it can be washed. Places like Lader Hill Designs have really awesome trainers than can be used like underwear, but unbottoned if needed.

Thank you for your suggestion. Not knowing much about cloth diapers/trainers, whats the difference between these http://hyenacart.com/gallery_hcm_open.php?id=611&vid=2342 and these http://hyenacart.com/ladderhilldesign/index.php?c=11&p=31034. I am seeing they both have snaps and one looks a bit more absorbant then the other. I know one is a diaper and the other isnt but is there a difference? I think the pink with the robot is SOO cute! Thank you again.

Bonnie

mom_not_the_maid · Apr 11, 2010

wendytthomas said:
It's not the falling asleep, it's that people pee when they wake. I'd have a portable potty and potty her when she wakes (my six month old does this).

Wendy

Thanks Wendy. The 2 times that she has had an accident in the car, one was when she was sleeping and the other was when she was awake. I didnt even know till we got to the store that she had wet herself as she didnt tell me. I can totally understand how she wouldnt want to tell me. I will definately look into a portable potty seat to use when she is awake and try to coax her to go every so often. Although, knowing the issue she has, everytime we did ask her if she needed to go, her answer was always no and I didnt want to put any pressure on her by making her go. I know she will eventually get it but is this something we should get a little "tough" on or let it be until she is ready? I know its different when its an adopted child or someone elses child then your own. Thank you for your tip about the potty.

Did I read that right when you said your 6 mo old uses the potty?? Sorry if I misread it.

Bonnie

wendytthomas · Apr 11, 2010

Right, my six month old. She'll be seven months on Friday. We do elimination communication with her. People don't pee in their sleep. They pee when they wake. All people wake during the night, we just generally forget about it, but those wake breaks, even brief, are when babies pee during the night. So a six year old sleeping in the car is not likely to pee while she's asleep, unless she's sleeping enough to wake and go back to sleep. A ten minute nap in the car, you can probably catch her easily when she wakes. But just like you and me, kids have anti-diuretics going through their systems as they sleep. And when we wake, or just before, our body stops sending those out. So we wake up needing to pee. Kids can learn, though, that you'll take them to potty after they wake. Laine can hold it for five or ten minutes normally, first thing in the morning. Her diaper is wet from her overnight pees, but she waits, generally, to pee and poop until she's on the potty.

Wendy

mom_not_the_maid · Apr 11, 2010

wendytthomas said:
Right, my six month old. She'll be seven months on Friday. We do elimination communication with her. People don't pee in their sleep. They pee when they wake. All people wake during the night, we just generally forget about it, but those wake breaks, even brief, are when babies pee during the night. So a six year old sleeping in the car is not likely to pee while she's asleep, unless she's sleeping enough to wake and go back to sleep. A ten minute nap in the car, you can probably catch her easily when she wakes. But just like you and me, kids have anti-diuretics going through their systems as they sleep. And when we wake, or just before, our body stops sending those out. So we wake up needing to pee. Kids can learn, though, that you'll take them to potty after they wake. Laine can hold it for five or ten minutes normally, first thing in the morning. Her diaper is wet from her overnight pees, but she waits, generally, to pee and poop until she's on the potty.

Wendy

I had no idea you could "train" a 6 month old wow! Which brings me to my question. My sisters 8 year old still wets the bed no matter what she tries. Her dr tells her that is still not uncommon for kids that age to still wet the bed. She has tried waking him, making him go before bed, limiting drinks at night and a lot of other things. He is a heavy sleeper and he will sleep right through it. She is assured its nothing medically wrong. Would that be true for him that he actually wakes up and then goes back to sleep? I know with my daughter to be, when she wet her pants when she was awake, she didnt tell me and that bothered me. I know she has gone through alot but I dont think I could wait till she is more comfortable telling me she has to go and have her sit in wet clothes. Thank you again!

Bonnie

wendytthomas · Apr 11, 2010

Right, nothing your sister can do about her eight year old.

I'm not training Laine. I've taught her a signal for "now is a good time to pee, if you need to." She will either pee, poop, or arch her back and send me her signal for, "I don't need to right now!" Laine uses a toilet with insert, a potty chair, a little potty, a portable potty, the sink, the bathtub, and of course the outdoors. Hardly training to use the potty.

Make this about communication with your six year old. "Sitting in wet clothes can't be fun. Please get me if you are wet, or if you need the toilet." Just make sure she knows you're there. Don't push yourself, like you said, but make yourself available.

Wendy

rebeccalynne15 · Apr 11, 2010

we use our chiropractor for our daughters bed wetting it really does work

here's a article i found on it (quicker and better than me trying to explain lol)
http://www.gotosee.co.uk/healtharticles/2008/09/chiropractic-for-bedwetting/

Qarin · Apr 11, 2010

I have a very small suggestion- instead of asking if she needs to go, ask if she's still dry. This can remove the pushiness aspect, as well as it gives a child who may want to always answer NO to any suggestion by an adult the opportunity to answer honestly and then have a private moment to self assess the possibility that she won't be dry soon and make her OWN decision to head to the bathroom (or request a potty stop, in the car). She has likely been pushed on this stuff her whole life, so it may take a while for her to take back ownership of herself in a way which benefits her- I know you want to give her every chance to do that, patiently.

christineka · Apr 11, 2010

I have a 5 year old with potty problems. She's small in stature as well. In fact, she was recently diagnosed with a small bladder. I have slept in the same bed as dd. She pees while she is sleeping. I had bladder problems as a child and I know I peed while I was sleeping. It is definitely not impossible to pee while asleep. At night my dd wears mother of eden cloth trainers or double the gerber training pants and a pull-up diaper cover, or we just put in absorbent inserts along with the cover. I like the mother of eden train pants best. They are more like pull up cloth diapers. Dd rides in an sk radian, so she has the sk piddle pad (not sure what it is called) which fits perfectly in the seat. Other options are to get the waterproof pads in the bedding section and cut to fit the car seat. Our you can use chux or the puppy piddle pads. I would also look into taking the child to a urologist. They can help you help the child to learn to stay dry. I'd also invest in a spare car seat cover.

My dd is on a one hour potty schedule. We know her bladder is small and she can't hold it, so she has to go every hour. We set the timer and tell her to go. Asking if her underpants are dry doesn't work for her. She could have peed, then the underpants air-dried, and she will say they are dry and still be telling the truth. She is embarrassed by her problem and lies about it anyway. She will claim to have dry underpants, but I check and they are most certainly wet. I keep telling her that I will not be mad if she wets her pants. I will only get mad if she hides her wet underpants. (She often sticks them in her clean clothes drawers making her clothes dirty and the bedroom stinky.)

thepeach80 · Apr 11, 2010

You might think about a feeding therapist for her food issues. We had to see one for Evan b/c he'd get tired of chewing and would just spit his food out or if he really wanted it, he'd try to swallow it whole and choke sometimes. We had to grind his food for a while and he atually got a chew toy from the therapist but hated using it, lol. We were just trying to offer things to him to get him to use his jaw muscles more to build up jaw strength. If this is a problem, she probably does prefer soft foods b/c it can be tiring to chew.

Congrats on the adoption! It sounds like she's going into a wonderful home and I hope she attaches quickly.

BabyKaykes · Apr 11, 2010

mom_not_the_maid said:
Thank you for your suggestion. Not knowing much about cloth diapers/trainers, whats the difference between these http://hyenacart.com/gallery_hcm_open.php?id=611&vid=2342 and these http://hyenacart.com/ladderhilldesign/index.php?c=11&p=31034. I am seeing they both have snaps and one looks a bit more absorbant then the other. I know one is a diaper and the other isnt but is there a difference? I think the pink with the robot is SOO cute! Thank you again.

Bonnie

Basically, there is no difference. They DO the same thing. However, Trainers are shaped more like underwear for big kids, can be pulled up and down when needed (diapers cannot) and are nowhere near as bulky. Most places on HyenaCart will custom make you stuff if you want.

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