Question Very small 6 year old

Good afternoon, this is my first time posting here as I was advised by a friend of mine to visit this site. We are in the process of adopting a 6 year old girl. This girl is considerably under-weight at only right at 30-33 lbs at the most. With this being our first child, can anyone recommend a safe seat for an under-weight child? As of right now, I do not know her exact size and measurements but I do know that she is about the size of an average 3 year old. When we visited the foster parents, I did notice that there was a booster seat in the living room which I thought (and correct me if I am wrong) somewhat unsafe for such a small child. I am in the process of checking the state laws here in Michigan but I thought I would ask here and see what you all would recommend. I fell in love with her the moment I saw her as she was physically and mentally abused by her parents and because of that, she has not caught up to a 6 year old maturity level and is probably right at 3 or 4 years old mentally. Also, if anyone here has ever adopted an abused child, I would love any suggestions or comments on what I have to look forward to. Thank you everyone for your time.

Bonnie
 
ADS

disbugsmomma

New member
Hi and welcome! At that size, age and maturity level, I would probably get a Graco Nautilus or the new Evenflo Maestro. I would keep her in a harness until she grows and gains weight and you know she will sit properly in a booster. Kudos to you for giving her a wonderful new home and wanting to keep her as safe as possible. :thumbsup:

Where in MI are you? There are several people on this board who could help you out in person if need be.
 

wendytthomas

Admin - CPST Instructor
Staff member
Hi Bonnie,

Given her mentality and size I'd recommend a seat like the Graco Nautilus, Britax Frontier, Britax Frontier 85 (for the extra harness room, if you think you'll need it), and Evenflo Maestro. They all have 18" top slots, harness to at least 50 pounds (which will be more than enough).

Congrats!

Wendy
 

Qarin

New member
Congratulations on your pending new addition!

I would consider a well-fitting high-backed booster for a typical but undersized 6 year old; however, I would prefer, from what you describe, a well fitting harnessed seat for your new daughter, and would probably look at the Britax Frontier or the Graco Nautilus. My only thought would be to be careful to be very respectful when buckling her, encouraging her to take responsibility for her own buckling (while you then make sure it's snug-as-a-hug)- my DDs could buckle the Nautilus while the straps were loose at age 4.
 
Thank you everone. I am assuming these are all forward facing seats? I have browsed through some of the posts here and have noticed that the rear facing seat seem to be the safest (as I am going by weightsize and not age). Would that be something I should consider or is she too old? To give you an idea how big she is, she still wears size 3-4t clothes.

I want to thank you all for your kind words about us adopting. We have tried for years and I guess GOD has other plans for us. Surprisingly, there is little or no cost involved other then a court fee of $200 once the papers are signed. Its sad to see how behind developmentally she is and if you were to look at her you could easliy pass her off as a 3 or 4 year old. She is still not fully potty trained and even has problems with simple tasks like feeding herself or basic hygene. We are hoping to work with her to overcome her issues.

The only drawback to this adoption is the wait. We first met her back in October of last year and because of the lack of social workers, they are so overworked. We were told at first that it would be around the first of the year and that date has come and gone. Thankfully, the birth parents have no rights to her so there is no chance of the parents re-gaining custody. So right now, its just a waiting game. Is there anyone here that has gone through the adoption process before? Thank you again everyone.

Bonnie
 

wendytthomas

Admin - CPST Instructor
Staff member
At her age she could rear facing, but her skeleton is ossified, so the benefits would be less. Not completely gone, but less. Small or big, her skeleton is six years old. I'd put her forward facing in a harness unless you think she'd like rear facing.

Wendy
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
I agree that a good combination (harness-to-booster) seat would be an extremely safe choice and probably the most practical. A 30# 18mo really needs to be rear-facing. A 30# 6yo is quite safe FFing/harnessed. Age (physical, not developmental) is more important than size in this decision. Good thoughts to your new family!

Oh, and to address the question in the OP, given the size and developmental issues, a booster would definitely not be the best choice for this child, IMO, but I'm not sure I'd go as far as "unsafe". There's a pretty big grey area between "unsafe" and "best practice".
 

natysr

New member
My 5 1/2 year old is not much bigger than her. He is 34 pounds and 41" tall.

While I am not at all opposed to extended rearfacing (my son was rearfacing until he was 4 1/2), and while I don't have first hand experience with dealing with abused or special needs children, I would say that she would likely benefit much more developmentally by being treated more age appropriately (forwardfacing harness seat/taught to attempt to buckle independently) than any minimal potential safety benefit rearfacing a 6 year old may have.

FWIW, my son fits very comfortably in his Britax Frontier.

Now, here is another issue that I'm not sure if you would have to deal with or not.

Do you know if she was sexually abused? Would it be traumatic to her if an adult were trying to help her buckled the crotch strap?

I'd prefer her in a harnessed seat, but there are some belt positioning boosters on the market that fit small children well. While she may be developmentally behind in certain areas, she is still 6 years old, and she *may* be able to sit in a booster properly during the whole ride. In this case, if she can sit properly, you may need to weigh the safety v. emotional needs of the child and I could see a situation where a belt positioning booster could be appropriate.
 

christineka

New member
I think just about any forward facing car seat would work for this child. I think I'd take her for a ride in the booster she comes with over to babies r us or another store with a selection of car seats, let her try them out and pick the one she'd like. Given her age and size a turbobooster may be appropriate. I wouldn't worry about a seat that could harness her for the next 10 years.
 
Last edited:

BookMama

Senior Community Member
I am in the process of checking the state laws here in Michigan but I thought I would ask here and see what you all would recommend.

FYI, the laws in Michigan really don't address the type of child restraint required. (Unlike say, Ohio, which I believe requires a harnessed seat until 4 years and 40 lbs.) Basically, a child must be in a child restraint of some sort until they turn 8 or reach a height of 4'9", whichever comes first.

You'll find that most children her age are in boosters, but I agree that a good combination seat would be an excellent choice for her. What type of budget do you have? The Nautilus can be found for about $150-$175 at stores like Walmart, Target, and even Meijer. The Maestro is, I believe, only at Sears right now and goes for around $75. The Frontier is a little pricier. The new version (Frontier 85, which has higher harness slots than the old one) is around $275 and can generally be found at Babies R Us and some specialty children's stores, though it's newly released and is just now making its way to stores. The older version can probably be found as low as $200 (maybe even lower now) but you may have to shop online to find a deal.
 

steph_s

New member
Do you know her full medical history? Sounds to me like severe neglect and abuse which could lead to psycho social dwarfism which is basically a form of failure to thrive. In this case her bones may not be mature enough for forward facing like a typical 6 year old. Have they done x rays to her hands to see her exact bone age?

I am a foster parent and an adoptive parent as are many on this board so if you need advice feel free to send me a pm. I'm just across the line from you in Ohio. It sounds to me like she won't be placed in your home for awhile yet therefore adoption won't happen for at least 6 months if not longer from the time the child is placed. It's a long long wait for things like this.
 
I think just about any forward facing car seat would work for this child. I think I'd take her for a ride in the booster she comes with over to babies r us or another store with a selection of car seats, let her try them out and pick the one she'd like. Given her age and size and turbobooster may be appropriate. I wouldn't worry about a seat that could harness her for the next 10 years.

I don't agree w/ the bolded. She states that the child is not at the maturity of a 6yo but more at that of 3-4yo. We all agree that under 5 really is too young to maturely use a Turbo booster.

A harnessed combination seat would be a great option for her. When her maturity is there then she can switch to booster mode.
 

natysr

New member
I don't agree w/ the bolded. She states that the child is not at the maturity of a 6yo but more at that of 3-4yo. We all agree that under 5 really is too young to maturely use a Turbo booster.

A harnessed combination seat would be a great option for her. When her maturity is there then she can switch to booster mode.

But the OP was not specific as to maturity in what areas. The OP may not even know exactly all of the issues the child does/does not have.

She could be judging the 3-4 year old maturity based on potty/speech issues.

But there are so many developmental areas. Some could be age appropriate for the child, while others could be severely behind. Some may be very apparent. Others, not so much.

The "maturity" we look for in being able to ride in a booster is basically being able to follow directions and have impulse control. This is so that they stay seated properly.

Now, take an abused child. Their behavior may be very aggressive and impulsive. But at the same time, a different abused child may be very withdrawn...afraid to move.

Obviously both children have been harmed, but one would be able to safely ride in a booster and the other not.

We just really don't know the extent of this child's delay.
 

natysr

New member
Congratulations on your pending new addition!

I would consider a well-fitting high-backed booster for a typical but undersized 6 year old; however, I would prefer, from what you describe, a well fitting harnessed seat for your new daughter, and would probably look at the Britax Frontier or the Graco Nautilus. My only thought would be to be careful to be very respectful when buckling her, encouraging her to take responsibility for her own buckling (while you then make sure it's snug-as-a-hug)- my DDs could buckle the Nautilus while the straps were loose at age 4.

And on that note, I believe the Nautilus is much easier for a child to buckle than the frontier. The buckle tongue are easier to slide into the buckle.

I don't know about the Maestro. I've never tried it.
 

aeormsby

New member
And on that note, I believe the Nautilus is much easier for a child to buckle than the frontier. The buckle tongue are easier to slide into the buckle.

I don't know about the Maestro. I've never tried it.

We don't have a Nautilus, but I think I would agree with this. My 4yo has a Frontier and she has a very hard time buckling the crotch buckle. She was able to buckle her Marathon around 3yo so I think the Frontier is just trickier.

Congratulations and best of luck with the adoption!
 

babychild taxi

New member
I think many of the previous posters are correct...a harnessed booster seems the most appropriate in this situation. I think this is the safest option as the little one is only around 30lbs. In Canada there is a minimum of 40lbs and a booster seat (preferably stay harnessed).

I have a GN for my little friends with special needs and I find it to be a great seat-easy to install and use. Little ones love it too!

If you have any questions regarding overall health issues/background that you don't have already, the social worker, as legal guardian, should be able to get that for you. It's likely that after the adoption goes through, you could get the records yourself. You may even be able to attend a Dr appt(s) with the foster family if approved.

Congrats to you and I hope everything goes well :)

Kathy in Canada
 

DahliaRW

New member
It seems to me, also, that once she adjusts, get the emotionally support and love she needs, and gets (possible) better nutrition she may just take off and grow like crazy. So a seat with some growth room is a great idea (like the nautilus or frontier).
 

babyherder

Well-known member
While I am not at all opposed to extended rearfacing (my son was rearfacing until he was 4 1/2), and while I don't have first hand experience with dealing with abused or special needs children, I would say that she would likely benefit much more developmentally by being treated more age appropriately (forwardfacing harness seat/taught to attempt to buckle independently) than any minimal potential safety benefit rearfacing a 6 year old may have.

Do you know her full medical history? Sounds to me like severe neglect and abuse which could lead to psycho social dwarfism which is basically a form of failure to thrive. In this case her bones may not be mature enough for forward facing like a typical 6 year old. Have they done x rays to her hands to see her exact bone age?

I agree that she does need to be treated in age appropriate ways but that underdeveloped bones is a possibility. If she needs to be rear facing because of underdeveloped bones I would say that is appropriate treatment for her. Everyone develops at different rates. Keeping yourself safe is your job (or your parents) for life, no matter how old you are. I agree with natysr that the child should learn how to use whatever seat she has as independently as possible. And if rear facing is traumatic for her for some reason I wouldn't force her to stay that way.
 

steph_s

New member
With foster children (or any children for that matter) who have been traumatized you need to take things one step at a time. Pushing a foster child forward before healing them and more importantly allowing a bond to take place (which could take years and much therapy) will backfire on you and leave you with more emotional damage! With most of my foster kids treating them as the age they present instead of the age they really are is best! I have had so many RAD (reactive attachment disorder) children and they need to know security before knowing little things like how to buckle themselves in a car seat. Developmental milestones for traumatized children are much different! You need to heal emotionally and establish a bond before pushing them forward. In many cases regression therapy back to infancy is necessary to re-wire them and show them how to bond and love.

Also with FTT and bone growth. I have an 8yo in my house who's bone age is that of a barely 2 year old. Would you allow a barely 2yo to forward face if you had an option? Chances are you wouldn't. He is still rear facing at this time because of his bone growth. Thank goodness for the higher harnessing erf seats!

I suggest getting a Radian so you can choose to rear face or forward face the child. Since she is small she would get just as much use out of this seat as a say a nautilus or frontier which would likely be over-kill for her.
 

natysr

New member
I think it would be worth finding out if she actually does have bone growth delay or not. The OP never actually said that she was diagnosed with that. She simply said that the child was underweight at 6 years old and 30 - 33 pounds.

Now, there is a big difference for an older child between 30 and 33 pounds.

My son is 5 1/2 and only 34 pounds. He is very healthy, he is just small.

We don't know the genetics of this child. We don't know if she is just small, we don't know if she actually was diagnosed as FTT, we don't know if it is a combination of both.

We are all having to speculate in lots of areas in order to give the OP advice. I think she's gotten excellent advice considering the lack of information we all seem to have about this child.

She knows that different seats/set ups may now be appropriate based on difference circumstances. So, when the child is actually placed in her care and she is able to find out more about her, she will be able to take all of this information and make the appropriate parental decision for her child.
 

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