why are some people so resistant to info?!?!

I really wanna bang my head. A friend on facebook often posts pictures of her nieces and nephews. she has no kids of her own (and no plans to have any at this point). Her one niece ALWAYS makes me cringe because of the carseat use. I've mentioned a few times to my friend, but there is nothing she can do cause it isn't her kid. She totally gets my carseat passion, though. Recently, she posted another horrible picture. I commented... cause I couldn't hold back. I ended up in a "discussion" with the mom, great-aunt, and another friend on the photo comment section. They told me I was wrong, even though I posted links for them to check out. They called me names, tried to take jabs at my extended breastfeeding (nursed DS til he was 2 years, 2 months), ect. I didn't do those things backs, but tried to encourage them to hate me (they said they did, never met me),but please look into the info. The mom said that her husband is a firefighter and that her seat is installed correctly, used correctly, ect. Even though it is very clear that it is not. She stated that her $40,000 has tons of safety features and it will protect her. she stated that she is using LATCH and seat belt so the carseat isn't going anywhere. I tried to tell her she couldn't use LATCH and seatbelt together, but of course told me I was wrong. I tried to tell her that having the straps lose and down by the child's elbow and chest clip at the belly wouldn't hold her baby in, even if the carseat itself stayed in. She, of course, told me I was wrong. Nothing I said or linked made any sort of dent. I don't get why someone would get SO rude and defensive when someone is nicely trying to give information to better protect a child. I was once in her place. I even stated that I did some of the same mistakes, but changed them when I learned that those things weren't safe. I didn't call her names or anything of the sort. Some people are just programmed .... different.. grrr!

And now I want to remove my friend off my facebook page so I can stop seeing photo after photo of bad car seat use... it's just about every single week!

Honestly? Unsolicited advice is rarely appreciated and when it involves kids many parents will become defensive and think you are attacking their parenting. :twocents: Its frustrating, but part of human nature.

Sorry the mom wasn't more open to learning.

this is why I said nothing to the parent. I said something to my friend. I didn't start by giving advice, just commented on the cuteness of the photo and commented that the carseat use was unsafe. That is all I said and planned to leave it at that. a friend of a friend saw it and replied a bunch of comments about me not knowing what I was talking about and it was correct used, ect ect. This is when I decided to comment back only specifically relating to what she was saying. It wasn't to the mom, but to the friend of a friend. My reply was short and just directed her to the page on here about basics. I didn't go into great detail, just really wanted her to check out that page. That's when a few people and the mom got really defensive of their carseat use and started calling me names and making comments like "oh aren't you the one who breastfeeds until your kid is 5? I know a good therapist. your kids are gonna need it" ect ect ect. I didn't retaliate, just again directed them to other links they may want to check out. I was respectful and refrained from making comments that would offend them. I didn't try to give unsolicited advice, just wanted to comment the facts to make sure other parents weren't reading and believing the things they were saying. I wasn't going to give any advice or links or anything until they started stating incorrect info.

A friend of mine posted pictures of her son in his carseat. He was wearing a thick winter coat, the harness straps were beyond loose and the chest clip was in the belly area. I cringed. It took a lot of restraint not to say anything. I went back and forth. It bothered me to see her child looking like that in his seat, but I knew that my friend would get offensive. So, I ended up not saying anything.

I'm sorry you're in such a tough situation. It definitely IS frustrating that people can be resistant to information. Especially helpful information that would benefit their child.

Yes people can be really fustrating. I don't mind telling my family and such but its hard when you see others not doing things correctly. Or in the case of my neice whose Dad has her and put her in a booster when she is like three and only weighs(not sure) deffinitly under 40lbs though.

I tend to be passive aggressive about it I am constantly posting the rear facing info from carseat blog on my status, and any info that comes across in a post from them. HOpefully someone in my family reads it and gets it

Jennifer mom to my 7 said:

I tend to be passive aggressive about it I am constantly posting the rear facing info from carseat blog on my status, and any info that comes across in a post from them. HOpefully someone in my family reads it and gets it

Click to expand...

This is what I do too.

:yeahthat:

I would have just directed them to these forums.

Honestly I don't bother. I don't offer advise/information unless asked for it.

I can only hope that the car seat pictures that I post of my own children make some of my "friends" outside of my Facebook friends from here of course take a second look at the different seats I own and how the seats are being used, or that DD was rear facing to almost three, and DS will be six at the end of the month and is still harnessed.
Many of my like minded friends usually ask me questions when it is time for a new seat and I usually give them my experiences and then direct them here.

I do see some excellent seat use but some of it makes me really cringe as there is no way that some of these children would remain in the car if it was in an accident. A cousin of mine posted a picture of her child and there were so many obvious misuses that I was scared to think what the hidden misuses were. Another cousin's daughter posted some pictures of her younger sister(around two years of age) in an obviously moving car just sitting in the seat no straps attached. I mean really does one need to point out to a parent of three children that perhaps the child should be attached. Makes me wonder what planet some people come from.

I think that safety trumps etiquette and if one can tactfully mention information then do so. But many people just don't listen, think they can't possible be wrong, or don't care. It's maddening.

I am sorry this happened to you. I always try to say something. I am of the mindset that not everyone knows what we do here and they may be receptive. It only takes one parent being receptive and changing things to possibly save a life. That's worth all the crap I get. I hate seeing my two nieces ride around with the bundle me (diff parents).. I posted them a link saying that I was looking it up and decided to get the shower cap style cause it was safe.. gave like 8 links.. (my daughter is four months younger). My one sister said thanks, but she knows you can't wear big coats in the seats (that's a start although her older two 3 and 5 wear their coats).

Anyway she wasn't rude just kept on using the bundleme. I cringe when I see her carseat but I guess it could be worse.

I have been de-friended by family on Facebook because of my ERF link postings. Those same family members avoid me at family gatherings too