Question Someone else's car, but my kids. Need advice.

During the 4 days in class for my cert, ds and dd will need to ride with my friend. On Tuesday and Thursday she will be taking them from MDO to the DC until I can pick them up. On Wednesday she will have dd all day and at 4:30 pick ds up to meet me at Church. On Friday it is still a toss, but may need her to have both at some point.

Here is the deal. She drives and Odessy (sp). Since mine is the only vehicle in the house that can hold both kids, I will be picking them up so we can have the TFP out of dh's vehicle to use all week. That leaves both xtsl's in my vehicle and the SR bas and TFP for her. (If I use dd's sr I'll go baseless.) I'm installing seats Tuesday morning.

Her suggestion:
DD base installed captains chair 2nd row
Her dd2 in Scenera FF other captains chair 2nd row (dob 1/22/08 and smaller than ds )
Ds FF third row
Her dd1 in HBB thirdrow (4yo adhd 40lbs )
I have given up on swaying her decisions for her kids.

Anywho. I'm thinking no.

I would like to propose:
Ds RF second row captains chair
her dd2 ff second row captains chair
her dd1 HBB outboard 3rd row
dd's base installed center 3rd row

I want ds rf hands down. I think that she will have to get in the back to put ds in her car if he is in the back which means flipping a seat forward. If dd's base in middle of the 3rd row, she will be able to let her dd1 buckle herself in as normal and then pop dd's sr on the base and put the 2yos in the second row.

I have no other choice. I at least trust her to drive w/ my kids. No one else is available and able to carry them. Is this too much to ask? I just simply don't want ds ff. I know she will make a stink if I present it that way, but the way I want seems like it will be easier for her. No?

No doubt, insist your DS be RF. I would tell her that as long as that condition is met, you don't care who goes where, but you can offer your set-up as a suggestion.

They are your kids. They should be restrained in whatever way you are comfortable with. When I drive other people's kids I'm usually the insane one keeping the kid over 8 in a booster. But I always, always check with the parents first. I say, I'm going to put _____ in a booster. I know you don't in your car but I'm more comfortable doing it in mine but I wanted you to know. Parents think I'm insane but they shrug and say ok. I've also followed some requests from parents I thought were insane. I had a parent tell me they measure half juice and half water to put in their child's cup. The kid was 5. I thought they were insane. I just estimate. Its juice and water, not medicine. But it was important to them. So I did it. Luckily, I only had to do it once before they said it was ok if I estimated. Point was, it was their kid and their request did not put me or their child in danger, so I followed it.

I'd say since she is doing you a favor, you defer to her wishes. Your son is well over the minimum for FF, and this will be for a few days for minor trips. Yes, he'd be safer RF, but he's not unsafe FF. What you're asking would put a big strain on her. You think it's just as easy as her plan, I can tell you that it's not. I've had RF kids in the third row with the second row full, it's a nightmare. We ended up putting the kid through the back hatch every time, hardly convenient. The kid was young, though. I would not have done it past his 2nd birthday. It's hard enough getting a FF child secured in the third row, RF is very difficult and, IMO, an unreasonable demand to make.

I've had kids RF in the back row that we'd had to put in though the trunk every time, it was easier than climbing into the back seat to buckle them in.


I would insist that my ds be rearfacing, but as far as who sits in which seating position, I'd leave up to her.

I agree that I would insist on your son remaining RF, but leave the rest of the seating positions up to her.

It is a lot to ask, as loading four kids into a vehicle takes a lot of time and energy, especially when you're not accustomed to doing it. You don't want her cursing your name every time she's loading up, because she thinks your way is more difficult than what she envisioned. I think the RF condition and leaving the rest up to her is a good compromise.

I would ask her if she would be willing to try the way you are suggesting if you are the one to handle the installing and moving around of all the carseats, and also offer to put them all back where she likes them after the week is over. I would also offer to move them after the 1st day if she has some real objections to where they are placed.

As for rearfacing you DS, I would make it clear that although you respect her right to choose for her children, RF-ing is what you have choosen for yours. :twocents: