How do people respond to you and your knowledge on CPS?

michele12

New member
I don't post much here, but value all of the info I have read on this site.:) I am curious since there are so many certified and knowledgeable people here about car seats and car seat safety how people respond to your knowledge, particularly IRL. I'm sure reactions from people vary greatly depending on whether or not advice was solicited.

I don't claim to be an expert but feel I know a lot more then friends/ family IRL. An accident I had several years ago really opened my eyes to learning as much as I could about car seat safety. I find people IRL blow off advice from me. My SIL was visiting recently and my youngest DD was going to go in her minivan with my DH. She could not understand why I wouldn't allow it to happen. There wasn't enough room for me to install small 15 month old DD's car seat properly RF in between her booster seats and there was tons of crap thrown all over the back, on the floor. Cups, food, books, toys, umbrella etc. There was like no room to walk. She thought I was nuts and DH just drove himself with DD. I then proceeded to get on my soap box and tell her that her kids should not be wearing jackets for their 2 hour car ride home. (this was the next day) Her 12 month old was FF stuffed in a jacket and her 3 yr old was in a low back booster same as the 6 yr. old. The booster seats were recently involved in an accident (more than a fender bender) and she hasn't replaced them and blew off me telling her that she should look into it. She also thinks I'm nuts that my older DD is still harnessed in a Regent.

I don't care much what she thinks of me. My family should know understand where my concern comes from. But after the visit, I questioned myself thinking maybe I was out of line telling her things she didn't care about or think to ask about ever. I find other friends reactions similar as well. Or they seem interested only to revert back to doing things incorrectly.

I don't get it. People can ignore statistics. Do they just think they are immune to it all and that's why they don't do anything about it? I figure someone here might be able to empathize a bit.

Care to share any thoughts, stories?
Thanks.
 
ADS

scatterbunny

New member
I"ve been having ongoing....issues with dd's best friend's family. I don't even have the heart to go into it right now. :(

Most people do not take me seriously. Most have the good manners to pretend like they're listening and that they care, but don't make any changes whatsoever.
 
I'm not a tech, either, just someone like yourself, who had a very rude awakening to my own ignorance after having a car accident just last summer. I'm far from being as knowledgeable as many here, but have learned enough to know that my children are now restrained appropriately for their ages and sizes. I've already offered suggestions on many occasions over the past few months, and find that I get the glazed-over, "thanks for the info" (then proceed to ignore it) response.

One friend, a neighbor just a few doors down in my last home, has a 2 y/o dd who was about 18-20 m/o at the time I had my crash. My youngest was 2.5 at the time, and her dd was already at least 5 lbs. heavier than mine, and taller. A big girl! She was FF in some Evenflo convertible, and when I got my new carseat, I shared a lot of info on the benefits of extended RF with her. I was also in the process of learning about extended harnessing for my then 4.5 y/o dd (who had been in a HBB at the time of the accident), so I shared that info with her as well, considering that her dd would very likely hit 40 lbs. long before 4 years of age. She seemed really interested while I was talking to her, and we discussed it several times in a few weeks' time period. And then.... nothing. :(
 

michele12

New member
I've already offered suggestions on many occasions over the past few months, and find that I get the glazed-over, "thanks for the info" (then proceed to ignore it) response.

Yes, exactly. Just pacifying me almost. And truthfully it is surprising, especially after all of these people me and my DD and how we were affected by my accident. DD is fine btw. THANK GOD her car seat did its job. But I feel way lucky that it happened to be in properly w/o me having it checked or taking note of the billion other considerations one should know concerning car seats.

Again, I guess people just feel like peopel think it will never happen to them.:confused:
 

lovinwaves

New member
Well, I can totally relate. I just tried to help my neighbor yesterday and it didn't go so well. I was constantly defending what I said, and she didn't believe anything I was saying. She said I was wrong for keeping Peyton rear-facing and that she should have been turned ff'ing at a year old. UGH!! Don't even get me started with people. She also said that I had her carseats "Too Tight" WTH??? :mad:
 

super_grape

Active member
Most people do not take me seriously. Most have the good manners to pretend like they're listening and that they care, but don't make any changes whatsoever.


YUP!!! That's exactly what I get too! ONE of my SIL's will listen and then
act accordingly. The other one is totally the opposite, in fact she has stopped bringing her 19 month old into MIL's house in her tiny INFANT SEAT
when we are there because she knows I'll ask her about it. But I'm no dummy
(and I'm nosey:) ) , I see it still installed in her backseat.
She tries to play dumb but in reality she puts her pocketbook, her conveinance (can you imagine someone NOT wanting to go carseat shopping:p ), and her crazy
father's opinions over the safety of her children. It's really hard to comprehend but I console myself with the thought that at least the baby is still rearfacing.....
 

twokidstwodogs

New member
My parents used to think I was slightly off the wall. Then the grandchild of their close friends was in a terrible car accident. I have no idea how he was restrained; I do know that he's a booster-age kid who was outboard in the back seat. The child survived, but suffered severe, permanent injuries. Since then, my parents have never questioned a thing I do. (In fact, my dad just braved sub-freezing temperatures to help me get my RF RA in as tight as possible!)
 

wendytthomas

Admin - CPST Instructor
Staff member
Most people either nod politely and then move on (like the one who said she moved her 3 year old to a booster because it was just so much easier), but some really take heed. I regularly give advice to two neighbors, and then a couple of friends and a couple of my playgroup moms. A few moms at Little Gym grabbed me and got my advice (just like on a board, when one sees one asking a question all of a sudden two more have a question). I'm also one of three techs on my Aug 2002 Playgroup board (rachel3612 is one of the others) and the tech on the First Time Mom's board I post to. So I have a LOT of people asking for advice who honestly want to hear it. I have people come back and tell me they've told people what I've told them, or they've corrected their pediatrician. My mom went out and bought a Scenera for one of her student's grandkids (she teaches communicty college) because the kid's mom wanted to turn him FFing after the infant seat at 6 months. I had recommended the Scenera to her, but just to point out, my mom went out and bought it. So from where I stand there's a LOT of positive feedback to me. But I'm also one of those people who may not notice the negative. I had people ask me if I'd rather sit somewhere more comfortable while I was nursing Piper, and I just told them I was fine. It didn't occur to me until later that THEY may have been uncomfortable and would have rathered I moved. LOL

The only one I've completely had is my stepbrother. He turned his 12 month old FFing with a 45 degree angle in an OHS. I have no idea how the heck he did that. His older kids have been out of boosters forever. They're 9 and nearly 11 now, and I doubt they've been in anything since they were four or five.

Wendy
 

MommyofBoogieBear

New member
funny that this is posted today... i talked to my stemom today, and she made the comment of "why would you have your child in a carseat still and not a booster? good luck on keeping him in there!" and i thought...why aren't people supportive of moms keeping their kids safe???? i get it if a mom is feeding a baby coffee...doing things like that ...criticism...ok. but why would people criticize someone keeping their child safe? anyway...about "good luck keeping him in there"....parents just need to be parents.
 

CRS

Senior Community Member
I've found in most cases people are really receptive and appreciative of the advice that I've given them IRL. Most of the time though they're shocked at what they didn't know, so definitely appreciative when things are pointed out :)
 

arly1983

New member
Either they get defensive or "thanks but no thanks". But I think the one that shocked me the most was and I quote "We believe in Fate, what will be, will be, can't help that":eek:
 
B

broxbourneDELETE

Guest
I think most people buy a carseat only because using one is req'd by law. The best time to "reach" someone is probably before they get into the store. Once they get into BRU or Walmart for the first time, the carseat instantly becomes a baby accessory (playpen, highchair) and the safety factor goes out the window. I am surprised that BRU does not play a crash test video in the carseat section. This would help them sell way more of the more expensive carseats. Someone who does not have time to study all matters of carseats and ponder which features they cannot live without, would probably just buy the most expensive one they can afford. High expense usually makes people care alot more about their purchase. (Ever been really anal about any microscopic ding visible only at certain angles on your car right after you bought it??)

If someone was not "enlightened" prior to their purchase, maximizing car travel safety for children becomes just too abstract a concept. It is much easier to deliberate the gingham pattern for their valances. It is hard to make someone part with their time or money or accepted practice based on an abstraction.

I used to be clueless too. The first time I saw a child dummy crash test video I remember I felt a little sick, chills, and started to tear-up, and that was the turning point for me. I still feel sick each time I see one of those videos.

--Charlene
Mom of 2 boys, 3yo and 11mo
 

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