Dear H being Dumb H today.

chelle80 · Feb 6, 2007

So i was talking to chris today about the car seats for the boys and this is what he had the nerve to type me..

chris: U have a carseat problem, lol. 2 Bad they dont have ca instead of aa, lol!
michelle: so now its a problem i want to keep the boys safe
michelle: all 3 seats will cost $515.10
chris: It was a joke. But u have owned an excessive amount of carseats
chris: And plastic dont break down for at least 150 years, depending on thickness
michelle: actually car seats are only good for 6 years

The 3 seats we are getting are 2 radians and an uptown(maybe, cj still fits his SS1). Needless to say he better be glad he isn't coming home tonight,lol. Sometimes i just want to strangle him(anyone want to help). I am still geting crap for wanting to get dakota a new seat, he thinks it is just fine to have to tell dakota to sit behind the seatbelt 20 times on a 23 mile trip

Ok, it gets even better

chris: They r only cleared by the safety commision for 6 n 7 years, cause the rules change
michelle: whatever, that is why they ride in my car not yours

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

mominabigtruck · Feb 6, 2007

YOu can wear him down trust me. My dh doesn't even bother to say anything now when I tell him I'm buying another seat. He just says whatever, as long as you're paying for it I don't care. Now my mom on the other hand was just telling me on the phone that she thinks carseats are a big conspiracy and you only really need them for small babies. Thank god I buy all her seats and install them myself.

chelle80 · Feb 6, 2007

LOL, i have secrets to get what i want

, but he can give me all the crap he wants to, I think Dakota needs a new seat, so dakota is getting a new seat. Nothing beats a 6 years old begging for a new seat and when daddy says no throwing a tantrum(yes i told him to do this). Now that will wear a person down

I have to wear him down a little more than normal because it is his paycheck, i am a SAHM, but i told him if he wanted it to be that way them i would start billing him for everything i do, he didn't like that to much. He can't afford me,hahaha!!!

He is just mad that he isn't getting enough out of the tax return to get a new game system is all.

skaterbabs · Feb 6, 2007

fwiw, remind him of what happens to a soda bottle if you leave it outside.

southpawboston · Feb 6, 2007

hehe, it's a good thing that i'm the carseat fanatic in our household... i handle the finances

southpawboston · Feb 6, 2007

skaterbabscpst said:
fwiw, remind him of what happens to a soda bottle if you leave it outside.

it gets dirty? animals get into it?

skaterbabs · Feb 6, 2007

the plastic wears down and gets really brittle. It's a gret sceience project for kids, because you bury one bottle, leave on exposed to the elements and leave one inside as your control. Then you see which one breaks down (not completely of course) first.

southpawboston · Feb 6, 2007

skaterbabscpst said:
the plastic wears down and gets really brittle. It's a gret sceience project for kids, because you bury one bottle, leave on exposed to the elements and leave one inside as your control. Then you see which one breaks down (not completely of course) first.

oh yeah, that's true! hadn't thought about that. wow, the words "science" AND "control" in the same sentence. w00t! those are words i like to hear.

remken · Feb 6, 2007

Thankfully I work so I don't have to worry about what h says about the seats I buy. He did ask me if I really needed to buy a Regent when I already had a wizard. This was before he decided to get his bike and was planning on spending the $4000 he got back on income tax for a new computer even though he just spent almost $3000 dollars last year upgrading the one he has now. Plus I figure I could start smoking again and spend more money that way in a year than I ever would on seats. He has his addiction (chew tobacco) and I have mine (car seats)

mominabigtruck · Feb 6, 2007

remken said:
Plus I figure I could start smoking again and spend more money that way in a year than I ever would on seats. He has his addiction (chew tobacco) and I have mine (car seats)

That's what I tell dh every time he complains about me spending money. If I spent on carseats what he spends every week on cigarettes I would have a shed full of carseats.

chelle80 · Feb 6, 2007

Plus I figure I could start smoking again and spend more money that way in a year than I ever would on seats. He has his addiction (chew tobacco) and I have mine (car seats)

mominabigtruck said:
That's what I tell dh every time he complains about me spending money. If I spent on carseats what he spends every week on cigarettes I would have a shed full of carseats.

Yeah, hubbys addiction is chew tobacco too, that has to be the nastiest junk. He spends about $40 a week on it.

Well hubby isn't saying to much more, just "i was only kidding" !! Surprise suprise

, he knows this is a fight he will always lose with me, I have to much reinforcements(thanks guys

) for him to argue to much!!!

nursekori · Feb 6, 2007

FWIW, I prob have one of the most, shall we say *frugal* husbands around, but our kiddos safety is not something he wants to "skimp" on. When I showed him the pricetag for the Regent, he about busted a blood vessel, but then I showed him the kyle video and he told me to have it 2nd day aired to us!

Most recently, I told him that ds would be growing out of the snugride any time now and that we *would* be purchasing a MA for him and that they cost the same amt as the Regent. He just told me that he understood and that we could get it whenever ds grew out of his sr and he even *thanked* me for being so proactive in the safety of our children. So yes, sometimes dh's can be stupid about these things, but I think most of them usually have a change of heart when they start thinking about actually *losing* one of their kids simply b/c they did not want to spend the money for their safety

Good luck with ddh!!

southpawboston · Feb 6, 2007

mommyof3boys said:
I have to wear him down a little more than normal because it is his paycheck, i am a SAHM, but i told him if he wanted it to be that way them i would start billing him for everything i do, he didn't like that to much. He can't afford me,hahaha!!

if my DW ever pulled that stunt on me, i'd bring my laundry list of monthly expenses that I pay out of MY paycheck: rent for our boston apartment, mortgage/taxes on our house in NYS, car payment, gasoline, car insurance, homeowner's health insurance, utilities, food, clothing, all child accoutrements including carseats, strollers, airfare for vacations... (i could go on and on)

well, you do the math

Morganthe · Feb 6, 2007

southpawboston said:
if my DW ever pulled that stunt on me, i'd bring my laundry list of monthly expenses that I pay out of MY paycheck: rent for our boston apartment, mortgage/taxes on our house in NYS, car payment, gasoline, car insurance, homeowner's health insurance, utilities, food, clothing, all child accoutrements including carseats, strollers, airfare for vacations... (i could go on and on)

well, you do the math

Ahhhh, but think about how quickly your paycheck would vanish if you had to PAY someone to mind your 2 children for 24 hours a day -- 7 days a week

Even at a very unlikely low wage of $5 an hour, it would be $840 a week.

Of course, as they get older, there isn't that need for the constant 'mommy presence', but full time child care takes a HUGE chunk o'money out of an income.

It's the main reason, I as an 'at-home-mom', have a life insurance policy. It's so that if anything does happen to me, my husband will be able to afford to work, have someone decent care for our daughter, and still be able to maintain our current lifestyle (which granted, ain't much, but it's not bad at all as long as we don't go buying brand new vehicles or getting carried away with clothes or all the 'gotta have items' they advertise these days)

chelle80 · Feb 7, 2007

southpawboston said:
if my DW ever pulled that stunt on me, i'd bring my laundry list of monthly expenses that I pay out of MY paycheck: rent for our boston apartment, mortgage/taxes on our house in NYS, car payment, gasoline, car insurance, homeowner's health insurance, utilities, food, clothing, all child accoutrements including carseats, strollers, airfare for vacations... (i could go on and on)

well, you do the math

Glad i'm not your wife, cause i would be handing you a bill, and laughing at you as i walked out the door. Especially since you think airfare is so important, I didn't know airfare for vacations was a neccesity like a car seat is.

chelle80 · Feb 7, 2007

Morganthe said:
Ahhhh, but think about how quickly your paycheck would vanish if you had to PAY someone to mind your 2 children for 24 hours a day -- 7 days a week
Even at a very unlikely low wage of $5 an hour, it would be $840 a week. Of course, as they get older, there isn't that need for the constant 'mommy presence', but full time child care takes a HUGE chunk o'money out of an income.

THANK YOU!!! Why is it that some people think because they bring in money and we don't that what we do is nothing? I think it is that ego thing that they can't let go of!!

southpawboston · Feb 7, 2007

oh, i can assure you we've done the math. it would be much more cost-effective for us to have my wife working and for us to pay for care, but we made the choice (together) for her to stay at home for all the benefits and satisfaction that brings. my point in all of this is that DW (and lots of SO's that may not be in charge of finances) seems to lose perspective of the costs of living, since i pay all the bills. the last time DW wanted to spend $49 on a piece of foam for a booster (chair booster, not car booster), i told her i thought it was an unwise expenditure. we got into an argument, and we agreed that at the end of the month, she would collect all the bills and write all the checks for that month's bills (about 15 checks get written monthly for recurring bills). she was SO SHOCKED at how much of my paycheck was going to ESSENTIAL things, she said "maybe we should start watching what we spend".

gee, you THINK SO???

that was the happy ending to THAT argument, lol!

Morganthe · Feb 7, 2007

southpawboston said:
oh, i can assure you we've done the math. it would be much more cost-effective for us to have my wife working and for us to pay for care, but we made the choice (together) for her to stay at home for all the benefits and satisfaction that brings. my point in all of this is that DW (and lots of SO's that may not be in charge of finances) seems to lose perspective of the costs of living, since i pay all the bills. the last time DW wanted to spend $49 on a piece of foam for a booster (chair booster, not car booster), i told her i thought it was an unwise expenditure. we got into an argument, and we agreed that at the end of the month, she would collect all the bills and write all the checks for that month's bills (about 15 checks get written monthly for recurring bills). she was SO SHOCKED at how much of my paycheck was going to ESSENTIAL things, she said "maybe we should start watching what we spend". gee, you THINK SO??? that was the happy ending to THAT argument, lol!

An ideal situation is that both parties sit down each month to figure out finances and bills. But it doesn't work that way most of the time. Even though it's dh's paycheck, I've been figuring out the finances for over a decade. It was easier that way. Anytime he did it, we'd end up with problems and arguments. What has helped for the last 9 years is that we use allotments & automatic bank payments to keep life simple..

We have fixed allotments into a 'utility account' which is automatically transfered to the appropriate agency when due (mortgage, phone, gas, water, cable, etc). Then I have the flexible bills (electric, debts, etc) figured out & directed at the beginning of the month via their individual websites.

There are several sets of automated payments to our savings accounts. DH has an allotment going directly to his 'allowance account' to cover his monthly expenses such as fuel, haircuts, lunches, & assundry items he needs. So what's left over and shows in his paycheck deposit is used for grocery, gas, unplanned necessities, & some fun. I do research or sell items for my 'pin money.'

In the end, we don't argue about money. DH can look at any of our accounts to see if we can afford his occasional whims. I don't have to explain anything. If he gets deployed or pcs'd, dh will have access to funds and the household budget will still continue to run fairly smoothly. Believe it or not, we're terrible with money. If either of us has it in hand, we'll spend it. So automatically splitting it like this helps psychologically for both of us.

Funny thing, there's a guy out there selling books, making a fortune using this concept "The Automatic millionare" and we've been doing it long before the book appeared.

southpawboston · Feb 7, 2007

Morganthe said:
Funny thing, there's a guy out there selling books, making a fortune using this concept "The Automatic millionare" and we've been doing it long before the book appeared.

you may have been doing it before the book was published, but he's the one cashing in on the concept.

mominabigtruck · Feb 7, 2007

I don't believe I'd ever want to be in the position where I had no idea how much money was coming in and going out of the household. The only people that think that's ok is people that have never been divorced. In my household I take care of all the money and while both the house and the cars are in dh's name, all the trucks are in mine and I am listed as the broker with our company.

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