WWY(Have)D?

Several months ago we watched our niece (3.5) and nephew (2) for a weekend. Both kids weighed about 32 pounds. We were all at my FIL's house, and he picked them up, partly because we weren't sure if we could fit three across in our car.

Saturday morning, we were going to go to a museum, so we went out to check Nephew's carseat. We thought it probably wasn't installed tightly enough in FIL's car. Yeah. The seat was just buckled it. Not locked, not tightened, not tethered. We ended up installing it with LATCH. Then we found out that we could NOT tighten the harness. It wouldn't budge. So we uninstalled it, and examined it.

The seat was an Evenflo Vanguard. And it had a big chuck of plastic missing at the bottom corner and it was all cracked. I have no clue how that happened. I do know that it was in continous use for 3 years. Niece had it, and then they moved her into a booster (Graco TurboBooster) when Nephew needed it. Granted, she couldn't have met the minimum weight on it and she was less than 2, but that's what happened, and luckily they haven't been in an accident.

So, cracked seat, impossible harness adjuster, and he was very nearly over the top of the highest harness slots. I was completely unwilling to let him ride in that. I had my partner take all three kids on a walk, and I did some brief internet research. We ended up buying him an Evenflo Chase with money we did not have. We talked up the importance of a tight install, and how easy LATCH is to use, and how important it is to tether the seat, and how Nephew really should stay harnessed. But, we didn't actually see the kids' parents.

A month or so later, we saw them, and my partner checked to see if they actually had installed the seat. Uh. No. One LATCH connector attached, the seatbelt was in the beltpath but not fastened, and the top tether was hooked on, but not tightened. So she fixed it and explained how it really needed to be tight. This was, apparently, too much for them. They are not speaking to us because we are telling them how to raise their kids.

So. Too late to change what happened, or to even really fix it now. But, did I do the right thing? At the time, that seemed like the best seat, especially given the nonexistent budget. Would he have been safer moved into a booster, since the carseat wasn't actually installed? We are going to be seeing them soon. I'm sure the carseat thing will come up.

If anyone has any advice or wants to reassure me that they situation now is better than it was, I'd appreciate it. Also, sorry for the length.

At only 2, no, he isn't safer in a booster, and yes, you did the right thing. He isn't going to be safe in anything because he has parents who just don't care.

Better than it was, yes. Coming from the person who put her nephew in an overhead shield seat because I knew his parents would at least be able to handle that correctly. And a week later they flipped their car. Had he been in the seat he had been in previously, he'd probably be dead.
So you did what you could. You got him a safe and easy to use seat. You went as far as possible. Unfortunately, you can't make people care. Some people believe that it's really no big deal, that they'll never be in a wreck. And some people really don't care one way or the other.
You guys did what you could, and that's pretty much all you can do. You've explained everything to them, and told them how to do it. They just don't want to. And while a properly used booster is safer than an improperly used harness, an improperly used harness is safer than an improperly used booster. Who is to say that they wouldn't slip the shoulder belt behind his back, or not buckle it at all?
It's better than it was, and it might be as good as it's going to get. It sucks that people won't take the 2 minutes to properly restrain their child, but sometimes that's the way it is. Maybe they'll get it some day, and maybe they won't.

You absolutely did the right thing. If they bring it up again when you see them, and seem bent on being ugly about it, you could just politely apologize for caring more about their childrens' lives than they apparrently do. That won't go over well, but then again, probably not much will if they are that determined to be idiots.

You did the right thing. Absolutely.

Some people have profound issues that are NOT because of anyone else but themselves, regardless of how they try to project it upon others.

Worse comes to worse, I never appologize, but simply state that I have done a lot of research, gotten advice from professionals & knowing that crashes are the leading cause of death for kids because of the fact that misuse is so common ... well, I just love the kids & couldn't live with myself if I chose not to take those few moments to keep them safe.

Rest easy knowing that whatever they do is not your fault & what they may think of you speaks volumes more about themselves than anyone else!

You did the right thing and i completly understand what you are going through. I have tried talking to one of my friends because they have put in there seats without the belt locked and put a 2 year old in a no back booster and i know they dont want to hear it from me and are tired of it but the kids are my godchildren and i care about them. I think next time i go over there i think i am going to teach them how to do it and maybe buy a cheap seat for them to use