Friends who don't listen make me so sad

todzwife

New member
I have a very good friend who has listened to me spout off about RFing until AT LEAST 2, keeping kids harnessed until they are old enough to sit properly, etc. etc. She smiles and nods and I THOUGHT maybe she was listening...

Well tonight they were over for dinner and DD's new Radian XTSL came and I took it out of the box while she nursed her newborn (who rides in a chicco keyfit thankfully).
Her 3 1/2 year old (probably 35 pounds) was VERY jealous of DD's new seat. (my DD turns 4 in a week). She said "oh wow! Mom can I have one of those?" Her mom brushed it off. Then we were talking about the snuggie and how I'm going to make some for my kids to wear in the car in the mornings on the way to school because poofy coats aren't safe etc. and she said "oh, well they are both in the seat belts now. Her 3 YO is in a HBB and her 6 year old is in a LBB. :(
I don't need our Marathon anymore, it doesn't fit RFing and will expire before I'd turn the new baby around anyway, and we are planning to swap seats when my baby arrives (she's going to give me her keyfit and I'm going to give her the Marathon for her newbie) so I offered to install it for them today for her 18 month old, but she said she was fine w/ the seat her 18 month old is in. Ok. So I walked her out to her car and he's FORWARD FACING :( I just wanted to cry. She KNOWS. I've told her. And obviously she thinks I'm CRAZY to have just spent as much as I did on a car seat for a 4 year old who in her opinion could be boostered in a $35 cosco HBB. Ugh. I just wanted to cry. I love her and her kids and I will be SO sad if something happens to them. Car seat safety is SO important to me and I don't understand why it isn't a priority to EVERY parent.
 
ADS

tweetykl

New member
I understand!! It is just so sad. My really good friend has her not even 30lb (then 2 year old, finally 3 year old) in a HBB and her now 14 month old who is 17lbs. forward facing. It just kills me.
 

susanx4

New member
i know how you feel.. and i have been told in almost these words "you have to draw the line somewhere, you can't always protect them" this was during a conversation where she talked about getting one of those low back ober bossters for her 6 yr old, i said he should stay in a high back as long as possible.... and why spend that much money on a low back? and she turned her now 2 year old at about 18 months... at least she rf her a little longer then normal.... and her almost 5 yr old is still harnessed in a summit... and its right even with her shoulders... so i am sure she'll go to a booster soon..
 

2BunniesMommy

Well-known member
I have been there with more people than I want to count. A few I have gotten to realize how much safer they can make or keep their kids, but it breaks my heart when they either blow me off, just don't seem to get it, or DO seem to get it and then turn a 22 lbs 14 mo forward or have a 2 year old in a booster. I have gotten to the point where I will tell whomever it is just once, explain why it is safer, and then not mention it again and hope for the best...either that they will keep their baby rear facing or toddler harnessed or whatever it may be or that if they don't go with best practice that they never have to learn the hard way. It hurts, but when it not your child you can only do so much...so hard for me to learn and accept that one.
 

BananaBoat

Well-known member
I feel you! My best friend got a XTSL on my recommendation :thumbsup:

BUT, got super defensive when I recommended doing the coat trick for her DS because he has a super puffy coat. We're very honest with eachother about everything & finally I just said "the most expensive seat in the world won't do anything if the straps are so loose he flies out!" :mad:

Later I emailed her some links (that she asked for) plus one to CarSeatPoncho :whistle:
 

henrietta

Well-known member
I hate it, too! But you tried.

I have a dear friend who is really, really smart, adores her kids, and is a fabulous mom. She tries so hard. I can't get her to keep her kids rearfacing (16 mos and 3 years and TINY), BUT I did get her to learn how to get her carseats installed correctly and choose a very good quality carseat. It took me about 6 tries to get her to learn that installing the seats correctly matters more than anything!!! The first time I fixed her lo's seat, the belt was routed thru the rearfacing belt path, was super loose, and she didn't know anything about the top tethers. NOW, lo's brand new seat is installed rock solid w/the anchors and the tether is attached properly. She also commented that she never knew there was so much to read in a manual and that it's ridiculous that it isn't more simple and uniform (and she's SO right about that!)

GL!

henrietta
 

hboo22

New member
I hear ya!! My cousin put her 2 older kids in LBB when they were 3 and 4, and I'm pretty sure her youngest is FFing (and won't be 1 until March)!! I have emailed her all the videos and links and she chooses to ignore it. Ugh, you can't make everyone listen. I did get my sister to keep her 4 year old harnessed though (although she won't turn her 2 yo rfing, she did get them both Nautiluses).
 

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