Siblings and fighting in the car

snowbird25ca · Dec 17, 2009

So I'm thinking in advance here, but I'm wondering what other people's experiences have been...

Do kids tend to fight more when they're facing the same direction, or when they're facing each other?

Dd and ds are beside each other in our car to leave room for dh to drive, and I'm thinking ahead to when dd is going to go in a booster. She has about 1.5" or so left in her Nautilus, and will be going in a booster in our 2nd vehicle late this coming spring. Once I know she's fine in the other vehicle I want to move her in the car as well, but know that the potential problem in the car is her being right next to ds. Right now I'm planning to turn him ff'ing about the same time, but if keeping him rf'ing would make them fight less, I'd consider it.

Of course there's always the option of keeping her harnessed longer in the car if need be, but if I can set her up for success ahead of time that's what I'd prefer to do. :thumbsup:

ketchupqueen · Dec 17, 2009

I had a lot more fighting when one or two of mine were FF than now that they're all RF.

When it got really bad I'd make my husband pull over and I'd stick a pop-up shade between them (per Judi's suggestion.) They hated it sooo much that by the time the ride was over they were promising all kinds of good behavior and begging for it to be taken out. We haven't had to use it since they all went back RF.

An Aurora · Dec 17, 2009

The fighting is worse with them facing opposite directions.

It was actually quite comical watching them try to fight while both RF--they couldn't reach each other but they would try. Of course they argue constantly as well when next to each other.

With them in different rows in the van, the fighting is much better. Of course, I have to have DD2 outboard, 2nd row, behind the driver's seat and DD1 outboard, 3rd row, passenger side, or else they fight over who gets to put their feet on top of the seat

.

fyrfightermomma · Dec 17, 2009

For me, opposite. DD1 is FFing and DD2 is RFing. It's just too tempting for them to touch/look at/breath at each other. They can't even sit in the same row. If they are both RFing or both FFing they tend to be fine. Last night we put Sophia FFing for a drive to go see Christmas lights. The trip there, not a peep from either. *sigh*

joolsplus3 · Dec 17, 2009

It's sort of iffy...we had some face kicking when there was one RF and one FF next to each other. When kids get along, it's nice to have them next to each other in boosters, because they won't leeeeean all out of position to play with the same toy (Nintendo DS or Leapster...)

Gypsy · Dec 17, 2009

joolsplus3 said:
It's sort of iffy...we had some face kicking when there was one RF and one FF next to each other. When kids get along, it's nice to have them next to each other in boosters, because they won't leeeeean all out of position to play with the same toy (Nintendo DS or Leapster...)

I chose that it made no difference, but they rarely fight anyways.

solmama · Dec 17, 2009

My kids fight facing forward, but when my ds was rf and dd ff, it was much worse. He enjoyed kicking his sister far too much...merely to aggravate her.

Carrie_R · Dec 17, 2009

I thought about this really hard, but... my dckids don't fight in the car. (This had never dawned on me 'till this post.) They all have a very sibling-like relationship, because they've been together 50hrs a week for years, so I don't feel hypocritical applying this to a sibling relationship. I'm thankful that I have a mix of FFing and RFing, and prefer to alternate as much as possible, because then they can interact... and keep the baby from screaming, lol. My same-direction facing kids can't interact as much.

So, if I were looking to reduce fighting... same-direction it would be. There's markedly less ability to interact then, especially amongst harnessed kids. (I know in this scenario one of yours is boostered... do you think it's going to be a temptation to lean out of position in order to mess with her brother?)

I think the best solution in your scenario is to try it a variety of ways, though, and see what works. (This is why I shuffle my carseats somewhere in the range of 76 times a day, lol.)

Maggie · Dec 17, 2009

Makes no difference here.

In my car they are on the same bench in the 3rd row. DD2 RF, DD1 FF.

In DH's car they are both FF.

karlatta · Dec 17, 2009

My kids fight verbally, so it doesn't matter. They're not trying to hit each other or get in each other's space physically. They get annoyed when someone is making a noise that they don't like and stuff like that. The direction they're facing wouldn't make a difference.

J-max · Dec 17, 2009

mine fight MUCH worse when their is a FFer, next to a RFer. Right now DD#3 and 4 CAN NOT sit next to each other. The little one pinches with her toes and kicks.

snowbird25ca · Dec 17, 2009

karlatta said:
My kids fight verbally, so it doesn't matter. They're not trying to hit each other or get in each other's space physically. They get annoyed when someone is making a noise that they don't like and stuff like that. The direction they're facing wouldn't make a difference.

This is what my kids do for the most part - though there have been a few instances of "his hand is on my seat" or "he's touching me" type things.

Really my kids rarely physically get in each other's faces in terms of pushing and shoving even around the house. Which makes me feel better - they're not likely to start getting more physical with each other when dd goes in a booster, and the shoulder belt in the middle is on the side where she'd lean away from him, so she wouldn't even be leaning out of the belt even if she tried to lean away.

Guess I don't need to worry so much right now then. And hey, maybe the yelling at each other stage will have died down a bit by the time a few more months passes.

steph_s · Dec 17, 2009

Depends on the seats they are in. If they are rf and ff next to each other and have a seat with some deep sides or wings they seem to be fine, same with ff. If there are no wings and they can easily access each other in any way they will bicker and fight. I gave up and just started getting seats that made it impossible for them to kick, hit, or even reach over and touch the other child next to them!

lovinwaves · Dec 17, 2009

My kids are most all of the time facing the same way, so I picked "clicky box"

But now that I think about it, I think they would probably fight more in opposite directions

skipspin · Dec 17, 2009

I didn't vote because I'm not sure. I think it depends on the vehicle and the seats they are in.

In my Jeep- DS RFing in RN, DD FF in RN. They fight, but don't hurt eachother- they just get ornery. Sometimes DS will try to kick DD in the face, and I did move DS2 to the middle for a while, but that was a PITB for me. I think that DS would have a harder time hurting DD if they were both FFing. I decided it was easier for them to fight than to have DS2 in the center or to FF DS1. They hated being apart because they keep each other busy more than they fight in general and DD helps DS with things he needs help with like opening cups, etc.

In DH's truck, DD PW and DS FFing RYS: They hardly fight at all. Being both FFing and the huge wings on the YS make it so DS can't do a whole lot. There is also more room in the back so they aren't as packed together and we don't drive it as much- so it's hard to say why. Oh, DH also has a DVD player in it. That might play into the mix too.

NannyMom · Dec 17, 2009

Mine don't fight in the car

Well, maybe if I had A and J FF next to Sofi.... she might enjoy putting her feet on them. But A and J are in the back of the van.

The only fighting we have is Sofi and BabyS, who are both RF next to each other. Sofi likes to hold BabyS' hand, and BabyS likes to SCREAM because Sofi doesn't let go

I'd separate them, but then A and J would be crawling under their RF seats to get out of the van. Oh..... imagine the looks I'd get at carpool drop off LMAO!

tweetykl · Dec 17, 2009

I only know that they fight a lot facing opposite directions because that is all they have ever done. Wish I could rearface my son and see if that would work but he is too big. It has been really bad lately. I did not think it would start this early.

bobandjess99 · Dec 17, 2009

My kids aren't allowed to fight/annoy/vex/harass each other in the car, period.
We actually don't get any problems from dd and ds, they love each other, when issues do arise, it's with the older boys

(12, 13 and 16, all over 100 lb and over 5 feet tall, in seat belts) who are all obviously facing forward, and they are immediately reprimanded/threatened/beaten.

DahliaRW · Dec 18, 2009

When I put ds2 rfing next to ds1 they fight the whole time. Usually because ds2 is sticking his feet in ds1's seat, etc. I have put them ffing next to each other, no problem. I currently have ds2 rfing next to dd and he leaves her alone. So in my experience, opposite direction is awful (it's fine if there is a gap and they can't reach each other).

romanoma · Dec 18, 2009

When mine were opposite directions, DD was too little to fight with. Now since DS has been RF again, the last 8 mo, they certainly can still fight both RFing. I have to put them both outboard. With DS in the middle it was just too tempting. I shudder to think of him FF in the middle.

Siblings and fighting in the car

Which direction do/did your kids fight less?

Facing each other (ie one rear and one forward)

Facing the same direction

Made no difference

Clicky box for the win

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