Its driving me crazy!

Mom2FiveGirls · Dec 4, 2009

I will be the first to admit that I was pretty ignorant about car seat safety until just recently (the past few months). I feel horrible about it and honestly I'm sickened looking back at pictures of my girls, because they were NOT safe in their car seats and thank goodness we were never in an accident! But, once I learned better, I immediately changed. I can't imagine knowing what I know now and still keeping them in unsafe situations. Anyway, like most of you, I tend to notice unsafe seats/situations more often now and honestly, its driving me crazy. I wish I could just not look in car windows when walking through parking lots or peeking in cars during school drop offs/pick ups. I have a friend who commented on a picture of DD#5 in her seat. She asked me why in the world she was still rear facing and pretty much told me that she knows I want her to stay my baby since she's our last little one, but its time for me to "let go and let her be a big kid"...meaning I need to turn her around FFing because she's old enough. I explained to her how much safer it was to keep her RFing and she said she had no idea and asked me to send her links to websites and youtube videos. I did and she said she was totally freaked out and was going to turn her son around RFing again (he's 3 months younger than DD#5). We had a nice talk about it and I felt good knowing he'd be safer since she was going to turn him RFing again. Well, I look on her FB and see recent pictures and not only is he still FFing, but the cover of the seat is coming off in spots, the harness is super twisted and not nearly tight enough, and the chest strap is pushed down just about as far as it can go. I wanted to cry

How can she now know how much safer RFing is and in her own words be "freaked out and worried" and STILL not do anything about it...

Then I'm talking to a girl I know and she comments that her 7 year old doesn't like feeling like a baby so she doesn't make him ride in a booster seat anymore. I told her that the law is that they must be in a booster seat until they are at least 8 and explain to her that most children don't fit properly in an adult seat belt until they are older than 8 and she rolled her eyes and told me I was crazy and it wouldn't be the law if it wasn't safe and her son is as big as most 8 year olds, so he's okay. I mentioned that you can legally smoke at 18 and drink at 21 but neither of those are safe for you and she said "well smoking and drinking in moderation isn't going to hurt most people" AHHHH! Seriously?!? That's probably the worse rationalization I've ever heard.

Then this morning I ran into the grocery store and on the way out a woman stopped me to comment on DD#5's red hair and we started talking. We were standing beside her car and I noticed that the car seat her son was in was not buckled in. I mentioned it to her and she said "Oh I know, it hurts my back to bend over and buckle it in, but the police can't see that when they ride by" then went on to say how her son seemed to like it when the seat flips over.

I offered to install it for her and she said that they move the seat between her, her husband, her mom, and her MIL's car and it would be a hassle to have to unbuckle it later this afternoon. I can only hope that they actually install the seat (heck, even installing it incorrectly would be better than not buckling it in at all!).

I wish I could just make myself not look. It would sure save me a lot of worry! I have had people who I've talked to and they have been very receptive. A friend of mine moved her 3 year old out of a backless booster and into a harnessed seat and said she was going to wait longer than 1 year/20 lbs to turn her baby FFing.

Sorry, I guess I just needed to vent. DH gets tired of hearing it...lol

Mama Jo · Dec 4, 2009

Mom2FiveGirls said:
Then this morning I ran into the grocery store and on the way out a woman stopped me to comment on DD#5's red hair and we started talking. We were standing beside her car and I noticed that the car seat her son was in was not buckled in. I mentioned it to her and she said "Oh I know, it hurts my back to bend over and buckle it in, but the police can't see that when they ride by" then went on to say how her son seemed to like it when the seat flips over. I offered to install it for her and she said that they move the seat between her, her husband, her mom, and her MIL's car and it would be a hassle to have to unbuckle it later this afternoon. I can only hope that they actually install the seat (heck, even installing it incorrectly would be better than not buckling it in at all!).

This one's a lost cause... you can't convince some people that seatbelts are even a necessity. Wow.

Mom2FiveGirls said:
I have had people who I've talked to and they have been very receptive. A friend of mine moved her 3 year old out of a backless booster and into a harnessed seat and said she was going to wait longer than 1 year/20 lbs to turn her baby FFing.

But see, even for all the people who choose to ignore you, at least you made a difference to this person. In the end, it's all worth it. Good job

Jonah Baby · Dec 6, 2009

Hey, I wasn't "carseat literate" until this summer!
I found this site on accident.

I had Googled something else to do with carseats and somehow cs.org came up with ERF.

I joined the site figuring it would be useful later anyway.
My first post was asking about the ERF. I always considered myself fairly in-the-know about carseats, but I had never heard of ERF.
I was pretty blown away with the responses I got - extremely detailed explanations with all sorts of crash test videos from the Techs. Man, I felt like such a loser when I realized how common-sense it should be!
I slowly learned of little things I had done wrong or the dangers of some of the big "mistakes" I had made/make.
Then I gained a ton of knowledge - what type of seats truly fit at what ages/sizes, different types of restraints, different types of crashes, "best practice" in scenarios where "ideal" could not be used, to things like RF tethering and reasons for expiration/weight limits, and so much more! Heck, I even learned about different seat belts and how to use or not use them with child restraints. I can typically recognize an expired or recalled seat even, or play "name that carseat."
I seriously thank cs.org for teaching me so much. I have never asked a question that was not fully answered in detail, often with outside links for more info. My child is SO much safer today than he was 6 months ago and I know that some serious and deadly "mistakes" will not be made with my next child. Us "learners" need to simply focus on how grateful we are for having this knowledge today, not how horrible we were without it in the past.

And yes, knowledge brings burden.
It hurts to see improperly restrained children of any age in any situation. Sometimes, I take the initiative and offer a smidgen of "advice" to a parent toting a belly-clipped baby or a parent in the carseat isle trying to understand what seat is the best option. Alas, I cannot even save my own family members sometimes.
Sometimes, people are receptive, sometimes they are not. I have to remind myself that even experienced Techs can get this type of response. They know well that you cannot save everyone, you can only try to so hard.