OT - SUCCESS on the Potty Training front

I can't believe it's finally happening! DD's mind and body are in sinc with one another at last. It's been a long road that I definitely did not want to battle with her about. I know she'd give up diapers when she was ready, but still I felt guilty that she hadn't 'progressed' with the normal toilet training of a child that everyone else seems to have managed long before her current age.

At 25 months, dd became OBSESSED with the potty. Night and day she ran to it, even though she had absolutely no muscle control or even a desire to take off her clothes. Thankfully, this subsided after a miserable 2 weeks.

At 30 months, she had a lot of interest and a small ability to pee on the pot when she wanted to, but we were going through a major international move that threw off any semblance of a patterned day. She also would get massive diarrhea regularly. YUCK

This past summer, she gained enough control to use the potty before bedtime and that helped extend her sleep. Still no desire to take off clothes, very irregular bowel movements.

Sept -- Her new peds advised that since dd had some control over the ability to urinate, she should be completely trained within a week or two. Absolutely no physiological reason why she shouldn't. Completely brushed off the issue of large sewer smelling bowel movements that happened 3-4x a day. Could tell that she thought I was lazy and didn't want to be bothered with the 'work of potty training'. (Have since left said dr)

October: I followed dr's instructions and attempted serious potty training. DD tried her hardest, but after the 2nd miserable day where she soaked her 3rd cloth training pant in 45 minutes and the dogs were starting to pee everywhere in sympathy, I called a halt to it.

So here I was last Sunday with dd at 3 years & exactly 4 months looking at my cupboard, realizing I had 2 daytime pullup diapers for the next day and an ice storm keeping us housebound. Time to try this potty training out again. Oh and she's been really snotty the previous 2 days telling me I HAD to change her diaper because it was wet, then fighting me on it.
No time like the present. Cold Turkey & deal with it.

Sunday, to prepare her for the new regime change, I told her several times she was a little girl, not a baby. Babies wear diapers, little girls don't. Tomorrow morning -- pretty panties only, no more diapers in the daytime. I've used this statement before, but with no effect though. Stickers, stars, stamps, food -- nope, except for getting her to obsess, absolutely useless

She woke me up all eager to try out her pretty panties. I am pretty happy to say that we had two accidents that day, actually late afternoon with bowel movements. The next day, she made it all day dry and even happy to do bm's on the potty. It helps that she gets a 'yummy' if she has a bm on the toilet. (dried mango piece is her favorite) I'm not beyond an occasional bribe.

Tues & Wed: While we were on public outings, she used the toilet 3 times. She even asked one time! (I have a fold up toilet seat)

Thursday- I was amazed when she asked me to pause her tv show because she had to go potty.

As of this morning, she is telling me when she needs to go, even when playing, and pretty much does everything on her own!
She's proudly independant enough to push down her clothes, lift up the lid, climb up, do her business, wipe, close the lid, & flush. I just perch up on the vanity and read a book. It's so blasted easy for us both, I can't believe it! Washing hands is difficult, but that will get easier after I install new faucets next month.

There's probably going to be some sort of backslide after the newness wears off, but for the moment, I'm going to bask in her newfound independant skill. It's been a long time coming for us both
Thanks for letting me share. I just want to scream with happiness -- posting helps contain that

great success story! congrats!

WTG! FWIW, CJ was almost 4 before he trained. Gregory trained at 3 but regressed when we moved and Cj started K the same week, and didn't "retrain" until HE was almost 4 either.

Joyjoy started showing interest last spring, did really well over the summer and by Spet was wearing panties for outings. But once school started and it got cold enough that she had to wear clothes she totally regresed to wearing diapers whenever she had to be dressed. (Although she would use the potty at all times when naked.)

Around Christmas she started asking for panties instead of diapers for outings (she's been giving the choice since September). I now have ONE diaper that was worn for 30 minutes one morning and is still clean. She's been in panties without accidents for two weeks now (knock on wood), although she struggles with the potties in stores, ect, because they're so tall. I keep a potty in the car for that reason.

Woohoo! Congrats to your dd on the major milestone.

Woohoo on your dear daughters success at potty training.

That is fantastic!!!! Patience really pays, and kudos for you for letting her lead the way all this time. I know how frustrating it can be- my DD has been 100% pee-pee only trained since last MAY- her 3rd birthday, but absolutely will not do her BM's on the toilet- not for any reason, period. If she does not have a pull-up on, she will hold it for days. Since she has been treated for this issue in the past, we always risk a regression to the holding it in every time we try to encourage her. She doesn't have a fear of going, she just has decided she WON'T do it, and that is that. OY! We are letting her decide when she is ready. I sure hope it isn't "when she's a big girl, like mommy" as she says!

Good luck in your next few weeks going forward!!!

That's great!!! WTG Rowen and Mommy!!!!

Congrats to your DD!

I read somewhere that the average to potty-learn in the US, is 3 years 3 months for girls and 3 years 8 months for boys. So, I'm not sure if it helps how you feel about it, but she's not really "late" compared to the average kid. I think it just feels like 3 seems like late to potty-learn because we've got previous generations who thought 2 was extremely late to potty-learn, but I've heard some scary stories about how it was done back then.

Thanks everyone, the Kudos are very welcome. I'm a worrisome wreck lately, so I needed a bit of success
Actually, I've been very nervous this week since dd has had a stuffy nose that turned into a nasty cold. Usually, illness regresses her from any new milestone she's working on. It's amazing that this time it hasn't.

Yoshi-- Rowen was also determined for the longest time never to bm on the potty. In fact, she picked up a phrase 7 months ago that she declares loudly at the most embarrassing moment possible. "If I go poopy on the potty, I get a cookie!" Now it's just a 'yummy' and anything from raisins to mango pieces count.

Skaters-- I keep a foldable potty seat in plastic in our diaper bag. It's small & really helpful for those uber tall toilets. Rowen is too afraid of falling to sit on one without it.
DH left it in the car the other day and she made him go get it before she went potty in a public restroom (I couldn't believe her control to wait for him )
At home, it's a simple flip & flush seat which is bright pink so I don't sit on it by mistake The seat closes on top of it.

Ahh, time to go 'help' her again. Last chance before night night

Shaunam said:

we've got previous generations who thought 2 was extremely late to potty-learn, but I've heard some scary stories about how it was done back then.

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Yeah!!! My grandmother claims that her children were all daytime trained by age 8 months. I think that it is much more likely that she was trained to their habits, not that they were trained. 8 months old? I don't think so!!

Patriot20171 said:

Yeah!!! My grandmother claims that her children were all daytime trained by age 8 months. I think that it is much more likely that she was trained to their habits, not that they were trained. 8 months old? I don't think so!!

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No, I'm not talking about EC, where you take the baby to the potty (this is what was done before diapers and what is done in many parts of the world still). I'm talking about whipping 18 month olds for having accidents, strapping one-year olds to potties, and using suppositories to force the child to poop on the potty. My GMIL didn't do those things, but she did still do horrible stuff when her younger son didn't potty-learn when she thought he should. She was telling me that he was still pooping in his diapers so one day, she got fed up and screamed at him and shoved the poop under his nose and he "finally" got the message. I asked her how old he was, expecting her to say 4 or 5 and she said, "almost 2! can you believe that!?" I was like, "um yeah, actually".

Elimination Communication is very gentle and actually makes a lot of sense. We plan on doing it at least part-time with the next baby. Basically you just read your baby's cues and hold them over the potty when they need to go. It's not "parent-training" anymore than feeding on cue or providing comfort when needed is "parent-training".

Like I said, this is what was done before diapers and diapering babies is a relatively new concept. 2 thousand years ago, people didn't have the time or resources to be washing diapers.

Shaunam said:

Elimination Communication is very gentle and actually makes a lot of sense. We plan on doing it at least part-time with the next baby. Basically you just read your baby's cues and hold them over the potty when they need to go. It's not "parent-training" anymore than feeding on cue or providing comfort when needed is "parent-training".

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I think in my grandmother's case, it was more "parent training" than what you are describing. She said the babies had to sit there until they used the potty. That could take minutes or it could take much longer. I don't think sitting a 6-month-old or an 8-month-old on the potty for 30 minutes or more is as gentle as what you are describing.

We aren't talking about before diapers were used, either. we are talking about doing this in the 1950s. They had diapers then.

My grandmother didn't hit the children or shove dirty diapers in their face, though.

Patriot20171 said:

I think in my grandmother's case, it was more "parent training" than what you are describing. She said the babies had to sit there until they used the potty. That could take minutes or it could take much longer. I don't think sitting a 6-month-old or an 8-month-old on the potty for 30 minutes or more is as gentle as what you are describing.

We aren't talking about before diapers were used, either. we are talking about doing this in the 1950s. They had diapers then.

My grandmother didn't hit the children or shove dirty diapers in their face, though.

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EC takes a bit to get the hang of, but I've never heard of anyone holding a 6 month old over the potty for more than a couple of minutes. In the beginning, you wait for their cues, then hold them over and verbally cue them to go. After a while, they eliminate to your verbal cues. If they don't, it means they don't have to go. And you try again later. If she strapped them to a potty and walked away, that would be a different story. EC has changed throughout the years, obviously, but as long as it doesn't cross over into non-gentle, it's still basically the same concept. I think claiming that the parents are trained puts a very negative spin on it and basically makes it sound like parents who do it are fools. Which they are not.

The OP has to help her DD with the potty right now. Is she "trained" or is she simply being a good parent? Would it be ridculus if her daughter was struggling to go and she had to assist her for 20 minutes at a time? It's really no different no matter what the age of the child is. As a society we accept that diapers are the only reasonable choice and that's simply not the case. Your grandma did what worked for her and as long as she didn't hurt her kids, I can't see how spending a bit more time on their elimination needs can be seen as a bad thing.

please send some vibes to my oldest-he is super reluctant to potty. but has no problem cheering on his baby brother who is ECing!!!

didymama said:

please send some vibes to my oldest-he is super reluctant to potty. but has no problem cheering on his baby brother who is ECing!!!

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~~~potty vibes~~~ ~~~potty vibes~~~

LOL We are hoping that Adrian will start using the potty before the new baby comes, but if not, that seeing the new baby using the potty will make him want to go. Maybe that's wishful thinking.

thanks for sharing your story! i have a 3 year old (and 2 months) with no interest yet to potty train. all my friends children are potty trained (oh, and at the age of two or so!). so i feel better now! i want him to be ready. thanks for the encouragement and congratulations!

Congratulations on potty success. I am one of those moms who has had two that were day and night trained by their second birthday --which I attribute to cloth diapering and lots of naked time!

Yay for Rowan & Mama

Brooke, Leila was a naked baby a lot at home too once she started using a potty -- it wasn't so much my choice, though ... she would have been naked all day at my job, too, except that I didn't allow it so much

*Potty vibes* for didymama!

Shauna: the teenager at my job is the oldest of 7 kids & his mom does what you describe (even with her special needs daycare babies)

woot! on the potty-learning successes!

Yay for you and your little one!