Dad! You can't just put a seat in all willy nilly!

TechnoGranola

Forum Ambassador
Is exactly what I said to my dad today. Here's the story:

I bought a MR on Sunday. Set it up in the house for DD and had her sit in it. Took it out to my vehicle to get an idea if it would fit, but did NOT install it because I was sick. Gave it to my dad to give a trial run for FIT ONLY in his vehicle. As of yesterday, he hadn't had a chance to try it out.

Today I show up to pick up DD and the MR is in his vehicle...and DD rode in it today (she demanded to use her new seat)...and I didn't even send the manual with the seat! Egads, so my dad just took the seat and installed with knowing NOTHING about it. To be fair, my dad is a freakishly smart individual. You tell him something once, he remembers it. He's got an engineering and design background, so is competent in figuring things out. Thus, the seat was in the RF recline, harness straps were at the correct slot, seat was in rock solid and at at the correct angle, etc. But, what if I had given it to him *with* the infant insert in it, would he have known to take it out? or if I didn't have the hip straps set to the proper loop for the harness slot which the manual is specific on, how would he ever have known that wasn't set right? UGH!

I haven't even read the manual yet, so I couldn't even tell if something was wrong. I'm reading it tonight and will bring the manual to the seat tomorrow and ensure everything is set properly. If there needs to be anything done differently, I'll take care of what I can and then let my dad know if anything was amiss with the install and he'll be fine for next time.

But sheesh dad, don't freak me out like that! Lesson learned, don't EVER, EVER leave a seat at anyone's house with your child unless the seat is set up exactly, correctly for your child AND the manual is with the seat!

On a positive note, DD said she LOVES her new seat and wants one for our car too. The negative side to that means I'm getting a new MR for my vehicle now too before she's even outgrown the TFs! and I'm not even sure *I* like it!
 
ADS

Jennifer mom to my 7

Well-known member
Hmm, maybe dad looked the manual up online? Yes, wishful thinking, but you never know. I wouldn't be too concerned. He got it good and snug, and there weren't any major issues:thumbsup: That is 90 times better than most people.
 

Kat_Momof3

New member
maybe he was smart enough to read the stickers?

Honestly, I'd be fine with it since he probably knew you had already adjusted it for her... and more importantly... you had adjusted it for her... and I'd be proud that he had it installed correctly... I mean, really, the install SHOULDN'T be as hard as it sometimes is for people... there are stickers and arrows pointing to beltpaths (which are pretty much set up the same in most seats)... and a rearfacing seat always has a recline of some kind...

You're dad just is where you got your carseat smart genes from.
 

TechnoGranola

Forum Ambassador
Hmm, maybe dad looked the manual up online? Yes, wishful thinking, but you never know. I wouldn't be too concerned. He got it good and snug, and there weren't any major issues:thumbsup: That is 90 times better than most people.
Ha-ha, no he didn't look it up online. But, ya, it was snug, correct angle and now that I've read the manual, nothing else was actually wrong. He reinstalls the TF several times per week (only uses it when he needs to have DD in the vehicle) as he sometimes has to carry things in the back seat for work, and he can get that in at the right angle every time and tight and do the lock offs up properly, so he does have a clue. (in my vehicle I can't install the TF without DH because the seatbelt slips so I can't do up the lockoffs!) :thumbsup:

maybe he was smart enough to read the stickers?
He may have read them, I will have to ask him about that tomorrow. He did say to me, "really, how hard is it? You connect the lower anchors, press on the seat and tighten it so it doesn't move". He based the angle on how she was in the TF and how he thought she'd be comfortable sleeping, I don't actually think he noticed there was a level indicator (although I could be wrong). According to the level indicator he can actually have it a smidge more upright if he desires, but he said she slept in it very well and looked super comfortable so he likes the angle the way it is.

You're dad just is where you got your carseat smart genes from.
:ROTFLMAO: Ya, my techy side is definitely from him!

Your title made me laugh. :D
I was flabbergasted with him and THAT is all I could think of to say! :rolleyes:
 

tjham

New member
I love that phrase. When my grandson was 3 and tearing around the house, I said "Don't go running around willy-nilly." He indignantly said "Don't call me Willy-nilly!"
 

soygurl

Active member
I love that phrase.
Me too! :love:

Honestly, I'm all for giving your dad mad props (lol :p), for installing it right (was anythingwrong?). Yes, of course reading the manual is important, :rolleyes: but it *shouldn't* be necessary to safely use a car seat. I mean, let's be realistic. The vast majority of people don't read the manual (for anything!). And what about emergencies? Anything that could cause a major seat failure should be written on the seat itself IMO. Stickers, warning labels, etc. :twocents:
 

babyherder

Well-known member
With the comfort sport I had to read the manual to find out what the warning labels meant! The labels had so many little things I didn't understand: For forward facing the recline foot must be in the upright position, For rear facing the ball must be totally in the green. It was the first seat I installed so I was just like "Carseats have feet? And balls? What are these things????"

Of course my brother was sitting in the back with the CS once when it was installed forward facing and happily informed me it was installed wrong. When I asked him what he meant he said the ball is in the red and it should be in the green!
 
Fathers arent stupid! My dad installed the seats in his van with no asking etc from me and they were in great! I would never tell my dad how to do something to me thats a lack of respect. I just gave him the seats and he put them in.
 

mominabigtruck

New member
Fathers arent stupid! My dad installed the seats in his van with no asking etc from me and they were in great! I would never tell my dad how to do something to me thats a lack of respect. I just gave him the seats and he put them in.

I'm a little :confused: about this. So because he's my dad he should know everything and I should never have to explain anything to him. I'm from a family of 5 kids and my parents couldn't install a seat to save their lives, I guess I'm going to have to let someone know so they can't have their parents license taken away because obviously they're not competent:rolleyes:
 

APmama2MAK

New member
Fathers arent stupid! My dad installed the seats in his van with no asking etc from me and they were in great! I would never tell my dad how to do something to me thats a lack of respect. I just gave him the seats and he put them in.

I'm a little :confused: about this. So because he's my dad he should know everything and I should never have to explain anything to him. I'm from a family of 5 kids and my parents couldn't install a seat to save their lives, I guess I'm going to have to let someone know so they can't have their parents license taken away because obviously they're not competent:rolleyes:

Umm exactly. I WILL tell my father how to install my sons seat, teach him as many times as it takes for him to do it correctly because my son needs to be safe. period. Do you rip it out of their hands and scream at them that they arent doing it right? Um well no, but I dont act like that towards any human being.
 

Carrie_R

Ambassador - CPS Technician
I'm gonna have to disagree with that, too. I'll never forget when my young cousins came to visit when I was about fourteen, and my mom installed their carseats. I went out to put them in it, checked for movement, and of course the seat went sliding all over. I fixed them, of course, then had to explain to my mom that it should be in there *tightly* -- put your knee in the seat -- just buckled wasn't enough.

They're my parents, and I respect them -- but that doesn't mean they have every skill in the book, or that my areas of specialization are THEIR areas of specialization. (Not that I'm a "specialist," I'm not a CPST, but you get my drift.)

When it comes to the safety of my kids (or the kids I'm responsible for, as it were,) I'm not worried about "disrespecting" my parents by making sure they do something safely. And honestly -- my parents respect ME enough to know that if I'm telling them something's wrong, it's because it's important to fix it... not to belittle them.

Just my :twocents:

Do want to echo the bravo to your dad, TG... don't know about my dad, since he too has an engineering background, but my mom's gonna need a major tutorial before she transports my future kids. The rare times I've put someone in her car, I do the install myself.
 

AtTheSouthDam

New member
Fathers arent stupid! My dad installed the seats in his van with no asking etc from me and they were in great! I would never tell my dad how to do something to me thats a lack of respect. I just gave him the seats and he put them in.

My dad is no dummy either. For man with no degree he is in high demand in the computer industry, to the point that if there are lay off rumors spreading at his company other companies start calling him to offer positions!
But he is NOT allowed to install the car seats. I showed him. I gave him manuals. I pointed out stickers. Despite all that he has routed RF through the FF belt path and vice versa. And he used the TB with a lap belt only. So I do it now. Come to find out my parents only had one car seat for four kids all born within 6 years of each other. The most wiggly kid got to sit in it. The rest of us were just projectiles. :p
 

TechnoGranola

Forum Ambassador
Honestly, I'm all for giving your dad mad props (lol :p), for installing it right (was anythingwrong?).
I checked it this morning and nope, nothing wrong, nada, zilch! I'm actually kind of jealous that he can get seats in so quickly, so tight AND at the correct angle. I always have to fiddle after because it's tight but wrong angle, etc.

Fathers arent stupid! My dad installed the seats in his van with no asking etc from me and they were in great! I would never tell my dad how to do something to me thats a lack of respect. I just gave him the seats and he put them in.
:confused: I never said my dad was stupid, in fact I said he was a "freaklishly smart individual". I had a long response composed to the rest of your comment, but I decided not to put it in as I think enough others here already agree with me that showing someone how to install a seat or asking them to read the manual first is NOT disrespectful.

Do want to echo the bravo to your dad, TG... don't know about my dad, since he too has an engineering background, but my mom's gonna need a major tutorial before she transports my future kids. The rare times I've put someone in her car, I do the install myself.
My mom sticks to buckling and unbuckling DD's harness, she leaves the rest to my dad because she does not feel comfortable with installs. She'd take the bus over install a seat. :ROTFLMAO:
 

henrietta

Well-known member
Fathers arent stupid! My dad installed the seats in his van with no asking etc from me and they were in great! I would never tell my dad how to do something to me thats a lack of respect. I just gave him the seats and he put them in.

Well, count yourself lucky. My Dad is a "techy" person--a nuclear engineer, in fact. He's quite responsible for a lot of the safety issues at some of our local nuclear plants in the SE, but he can't install a carseat to save his life. He even argued w/me about how the seatbelts lock in my vans. If I left it up to my Dad, my kid's seats would be flying all over the place. After 4 years, he finally knows to tighten the harnesses pretty well, but even w/instruction, he hasn't installed a seat properly yet. Some of that is just lack of motivation and practice. Your Dad may be more motivated.

As for lack of respect--my Dad makes mistakes just like the rest of us. He isn't immune. And as THE person responsible for my boy's safety, I can and will tell ANYONE how to do ANYTHING that keeps my kids safe. Period. I'll be nice about it, but I will speak up. Not doing so is *disrespectful* to my children!

henrietta
 

tjham

New member
Fathers aren't "stupid" but SOME of the 80-90% of carseats installed improperly in the US MUST have been installed by fathers...fathers who did not read the manual or follow the directions!
 

Kat_Momof3

New member
I agree with everything said... fathers aren't stupid... no one was saying otherwise... and it's simply a matter of us having more carseat experience and the statistics not being in ANYONE'S favor (and the kids in question are OUR kids... so it's our responsibility to make sure the seats are in right) that have us double and sometimes triple check any attempt by a grandparent to install a seat properly.

My ILs do OKAY... but I can still get them tighter and get them in faster... My mother... oh, the scary installs... what's worse is that I know for a fact that my and my sister's carseats were installed properly... she even installed my firstborn's son's infant base for me (I was SOOO pregnant and high risk) and I checked it and it was super tight... but after that it went downhill and she was just clueless... and I had to redo any installation she did cause she'd do the most obvious mistakes.
 
Well I guess I look at it this way. My parents had me, taught me everything I know and there is no way I will ever tell my parents they are doing something wrong..no way ...ever....I guess with me it is a matter of respect even now as a 32 year old woman I listen to my parents and I take the advice they give me. My parents taught me to be the awesome mom I am to my kids today! I would never act like I know more than them. If my dad couldnt install the car seat then I would ask if he needed help but I would never say he couldnt..etc.
 

AtTheSouthDam

New member
Well I guess I look at it this way. My parents had me, taught me everything I know and there is no way I will ever tell my parents they are doing something wrong..no way ...ever....I guess with me it is a matter of respect even now as a 32 year old woman I listen to my parents and I take the advice they give me. My parents taught me to be the awesome mom I am to my kids today! I would never act like I know more than them. If my dad couldnt install the car seat then I would ask if he needed help but I would never say he couldnt..etc.

Ah, I understand where you are coming from. I really hesitated to tell my parents they had done it wrong. I never really went any further than "I think that is the wrong belt path.." I will admit I use the fact that they both have arthritis in their shoulders as to why I do it for them and I "volunteer" to install with that reason. They have yet to refuse :)
 

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