Dr Phil

Morganthe

New member
So I'm checking out today's episode Young Mothers ask the Experts to see what the topics are today.

On the page, there's a photo with an OHS carseat. I haven't had any experience with these seats, but isn't that child too small for it? :confused:
 
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mominabigtruck

New member
Is it me or is she rfing? Hypothetically no, all ohs seats that I've seen are like a standard convertible 5-40lbs. But it looks like an older evenflo one so who knows.
 

Morganthe

New member
I don't think she's rfing -- The seat headrest is above her and tipped the right way + the seatbelt is also in the right place to be used in that spot. The photo is slightly clearer when you click on the summary link.
 

scatterbunny

New member
That poor baby. :( No wonder she's pulling her hair out--weaning AND kicked out of mom's bed all at once.

The carseat sucks, but it's technically okay.
 

Splash

New member
Yeah, I would tell that dad to bite it!
Okay, some babies get upset when they are weaned, and that's understandable and expected. But if my baby was PULLING HER HAIR OUT after getting weaned, I would not take "no, absolutely not" from my husband (er, you get it) when I told him I wanted to nurse her again.
Weaning AND kicking her out at the same time was mean, IMO. The biggest reason I am hesitant to have another child is I don't want to kick Charlie out of our bed (and I am unwilling to sleep with an infant and a toddler, I just don't think it's safe for infants and toddlers to share the same bed). I want him to leave on his own (and wean on his own). But man, if he was pulling out his HAIR because he was so stressed? Eek!
 

Starlight

Senior Community Member
omg. dr phil had dr sears on!
omg, omg.

and he told mama to nurse the baby and bring her back to bed! yay! and then the mentioned simulated bf too!

yay!

and yes, tthe carseat sucks but atleast the baby will get her milkies & get to cuddle w/ her mommy and daddy! yay!

eta: dh would be the one sleeping in the nursury if he dared tell me no like that! And, splash, we're doing the same thing - holding off on another until this baby moves out of my bed on his own. We still nurse atleast 3-4 times each night, so it's going to be awhile. :)
 

scatterbunny

New member
Hayley's 5.5 and still would sleep with us every night if we let her, so we did have to draw a line--on school nights she must sleep in her own bed, on weekends she can sleep with us. She's so darn big now though, that when she wants to sleep with me, Mark has to sleep in the spare room, if she wants to sleep with Mark, I sleep in the spare room. :rolleyes: She's such a bed hog!

She slept in her crib and toddler bed off and on, but the majority of the time was with us, and I was not going to push her away when she needed us for security, and when she enjoyed cudding with us and sleeping with us. She'll be at an age soon enough when she won't want us anywhere around, so I don't want to rush that.
 

mominabigtruck

New member
I must be in the minority here but I don't think there's anything wrong with the dad not wanting a baby in the bed with them. Both of my kids sleep clear on the other side of the house and I like it that way, I use a monitor so I can hear them but other then that they both sleep in their own beds. I think its the mom's decision though if she wants to breastfeed or not.
 

southpawboston

New member
I must be in the minority here but I don't think there's anything wrong with the dad not wanting a baby in the bed with them. Both of my kids sleep clear on the other side of the house and I like it that way, I use a monitor so I can hear them but other then that they both sleep in their own beds. I think its the mom's decision though if she wants to breastfeed or not.

agreed! (and nothing wrong with being in a minority of opinion!!!)

we weaned DD1 at one year, and it just seemed "right". she was ready, was eating almost exclusively solids, and everything just progressed according to an instinctual rhythm. there was no rebellion or resistance, a natural progrsssion. even before that, DD1 was sleeping through the night 90% of nights after three months, in her own room. the added benefit that we see to this is that not only is DD1 perfectly well rested in the morning, but so are DH and DW :) this in turn allows for happier and more rested interactions with our children.

DD2 is working out similarly to DD1, except that it took her more like 5-6 months before she was sleeping through the nights, and even now, it's only about 80% of the time.

we also use monitors to hear if our children wake up, and if they do, we go in to comfort them... but we also make it clear that they need to go back to sleep. we once caved and started letting DD1 into our bed after waking up from nightmares, and we saw it turning into a slippery slope.

i'm not saying one way is better than another... this is what has worked for us! and i will not get into a debate as to what is "better". each family has to figure out what is "best" for them. your mileage will vary, lol.

one thing i do have a strong opinion on, however, is never forcing your child to transition against their will, and especially never trying to get your child to transition to more than one major change at a time from their normal routine (e.g., weaning AND sleeping independently).
 

Splash

New member
I don't think there is anything wrong with not sleeping with your children. I couldn't handle putting Charlie in another room, but that's me. I want him in bed with us, and he wants to be there. My partner is neutral on it, though if she wanted him OUT and he still wanted to sleep with me, I would sleep in the other room with him, or she would sleep in the other room. He'll sleep on his own when he's ready, same with weaning from the breast, though I DO want him off the bottle soon.
It's the situation where they weaned the baby AND kicked her out of their room at the same time, which is too much too fast. PLUS the mother said she wanted to bring the baby back to bed and nurse her, and the husband refused. No way that would fly in my house.
I've loved having Charlie sleep with us since the day he was born, and even the times he's been in the hospital, I've slept on a chair with him on my chest. But some people can't handle that, don't want it, think it's bad, etc. That's cool. But when the kid is pulling her hair out over it, something needs to change.
 

Michi

Member
My first 2 kids were co-sleepers , and at ages 6 and 9 we can't get them out of our room. They are SO dependant on us to fall/stay asleep.
My last two girls we had in our room, but not in our bed ( in a bassinet) and then i transitioned them to their own room around 8 mos. They both sleep like LOGS now!
While I loved the closeness of co-sleeping ( and I DO feel I 'missed out' on that with the littles) if i could do it all over again I would have transitioned them, too.
 

Alicia-N-2SafeBugs

Senior Community Member
It's not on here for another hour...

But they really should have picked one thing to do and not both at the same time! Talk about traumatic! Dd slept with us until she was 6 months and then I moved her out. I didn't even THINK about weaning her for awhile after. I was forced to wean her at 16 months so that I could start a medication that isn't safe for nursing babies. It was harder on me than her.

I felt I had the best of both worlds with my ds...we put him down to sleep in his own bed at the beginning of the night and when he woke up around 2am, I'd bring him back to bed with me until morning. As he gradually slept longer and longer he just stayed in his own bed. By 9 months he was full time in his own bed by his own choice.

I like co-sleeping with my little babies, but as they get older, I like everyone having their own rooms and own beds. To each his/her own! I say do whatever works for you and your family!
 

stayinhomewithmy6

Senior Community Member
To each his/her own! I say do whatever works for you and your family!

Exactly! :) And I think different kids have different preferences, too. We've always let ours sleep wherever they feel comfortable. X has slept in bed with us since he was a baby and it wasn't planned that way... we bought him a beautiful crib and he never used it! Then, when R was born, she couldn't sleep in our bed because X was in there (he was 1 1/2 at the time), but then about the time she turned 2, she decided she wanted to co-sleep and she still does now. Then, when E was born he couldn't sleep in our bed for the same reason. Now that he's 2 1/2 he's perfectly happy sleeping in his crib and I've actually tried bringing him in with us (I feel like he's being left out!) and he doesn't want to be there! Maybe since he's the 3rd, he feels like he needs the 'alone time' and a space of his own! ;)
I'm glad to hear that Dr. Sears came on and set them straight! That poor kid! One of my daycare kids starting coming here when she had just turned 1. She had never been in daycare before (so thats the 1st huge transition) and her mom was weaning her (2nd huge transition) and it was TERRIBLE! Now, she's 2 and is doing just fine here, but it took her MONTHS to get over that!
 

Morganthe

New member
I don't think there is anything wrong with not sleeping with your children. I couldn't handle putting Charlie in another room, but that's me.

It's the situation where they weaned the baby AND kicked her out of their room at the same time, which is too much too fast. PLUS the mother said she wanted to bring the baby back to bed and nurse her, and the husband refused. No way that would fly in my house.

Yep -- 2 major transitions at one time because it was a decision by someone else other than the child is way too much.

We don't cosleep anymore. DD tells me to move over too much :rolleyes:

But having a place to sleep in our room is a lifesaver. Her stuffy nose turned into an absolutely horrific cough and wheezing fit after she went to bed last night in her room. Temperature normal. But she woke up so terribly at 9:30pm, it scared me a little. She went back to sleep after taking medicine, but kept crying and coughing with some serious phlegm.

By the time dh arrived home from work, I had enough. During one of those fits, I picked her up, told her I was taking her to her cot, and she was easily tucked in. The wheezing got better with the really cold corner she sleeps in. But I wasn't so worried anymore. She sounded much better today after a good night's sleep too.

If I have to, I'll move her into her cot in our room again tonight. It's easier on us all.
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
Haven't seen the carseat yet -- all I want to say is that while I'm pro cosleeping for Leila for our circumstances ... I am *more* pro (um) whatever is best for the family: meaning, if the parents and/or child isn't comfortable with cosleeping, then it's not going to be the best thing for THEM.
 

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