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  1. #1
    CPS Technician emandbri's Avatar
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    I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    I think she is now peeing in her car seat on purpose so she can ride in Benjamin's seat, which is a forward facing radian.

    Two days in a row now I have had to take off the cover and wash it, what a PITA!

    I have a my ride but I am not happy with the install in my van.

    Benjamin's radian only goes to 35 lbs rear-facing and she is 37 so she can't use it rear-facing.

    I could move Benjamin to the monterey and put his cover on her radian when she pees. For those who have siggys turned off Benjamin is 6 years 3 months old, 50 lbs, and 49 inches tall. He would be happy to go to a booster and does fine in one.

    I would then have to move Daniel to the right fit and remember to buckle it in when not in use.

    I'm also posting in swap to see if anyone has a cheap radian cover.

    Brian thinks I should put her in a pull up every time she goes in the car but she really has been doing well so I don't want to do that.

    Any other ideas?

    Emily tech and mom to Jacob 16, Daniel 13, Benjamin 9, Elizabeth 6. Child care provider to 4 other kiddos.

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  3. #2
    CPS Fanatic vonfirmath's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    I agree with Brian. Esp. if she's manipulating you.

    --Sarah & D.J. (3-20-04)
    DS (08/07) ~ 8 ~ 52 pound ~ Graco Highback Turbobooster -- 3rd Grade!
    DD (08/11) ~ 4 yr ~ 32 lb ~ Britax Roundabout 50, Maestro -- Pre-K!

  4. #3
    Carseat Crankypants carseatcoach's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    Lots of kids have "accidents" in cars. Whether it's a manipulation issue or something else (vibrations of the car disguise the need-to-pee feeling, she doesn't want to ask you to stop the car, the potty is out of sight and out of mind), I agree that the answer is a pullup in the car.
    CPST and Mama to a 13yo girl, 5-stepped at age 10 and 5'

    Posted from my toaster using a PopTart

  5. #4
    Moderator - CPS Technician BookMama's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    I'd put a piddle pad or something along those lines in her seat so that you don't need to wash the cover every time she wets it. I got some rubber-backed flannel at Joann's with DS and have used it on the bed for every kid since - haven't had a problem with them wetting the car seats but if I did, I'd cut a piece of the rubber-backed flannel and use it in the car seat. (Or an old-style cloth diaper, or something along those lines.)
    Andrea, CPST, Tech proxy, special Needs trained
    DS 4/01 - Seatbelt * DD1 11/05 - Oobr, PWSGL, Performance Booster
    DD2 10/09 - GN SS/Argos
    Plus a plethora of "spare" seats for everyone.

  6. #5
    CPS Technician NannyMom's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    I'd put her in a diaper or pull up in the car too. Sofi gets a diaper when I know she'll be taking a long nap in the car. You can tell her she gets a pull up until she shows she can stay dry in the car. When Sofi was wetting her bed, she had a PU until she could stay dry (she was dry for around 2 weeks before I stopped).
    Mama to Sofi: 7.1 yrs, 46Lbs (47"), Boostered in a Turbo, Vivo, Monterey, Cybex; harnessed in Nautilus
    Nanny to BabyD, 21 months in a RXT, Classic Marathon, Boulevard 70

  7. #6
    CPS Advocate Kat_Momof3's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    I'd put one of those puppy-training pads down in the seat of the seat... you won't have to clean the seat, but she'll still be able to feel wet underwear

    OR I'd put a pullup on OVER her panties, so she still feels wet and you're not having to deal with as much mess.

    I would NOT turn her... but I would talk to her... try to explain to her that we don't pee/act out to get our way, we use our words, and talk to her about why she rides how she does and tell her when she'll be able to ride forward facing.

    I'd also pull out the stickers and small rewards for staying dry in the carseat



    Check out my new hair blog - Ruthie-dos

  8. #7
    Forum Ambassador TechnoGranola's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    What if you put DS in the Monterey and take the FF seat out of the vehicle? And a piddle pad as well. That way, if she pees, there is no other seat for her to sit in, and if this is manipulation, hopefully she'll quickly figure out there is nowhere for her to go but here.
    Last edited by TechnoGranola; 11-11-2009 at 02:26 PM. Reason: spelling

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  10. #8
    CPS Fanatic abacus2's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    I agree with Brian, too, pull-up in the car. If you don't want to do that, a piddle pad or a cloth diaper cover over her underware could minimize the mess.
    Liz
    Mom to:
    Rachael (11/03), Emily (8/06), and Naomi (1/09)

  11. #9
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    Yup, pad or pullup. You can get the chux type pads at pet stores or I've seen them at places like wallgreens.
    Mommy to two wild little boys and a little princess!
    DS1 (01/05, 46 1/2", 44 lbs), Boring Gray Turbobooster / Harmony Literider
    DS2 (07/07, 39 1/2", 40lbs), Harvest Complete Air / Booster Training in a Maui Blue PWSG / RSTV
    DD (07/09, 33", 23lbs), rfing Flair MyRide / rfing Scenera

  12. #10
    CPS Technician ctbcleveland's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    http://www.skjp.com/product/124834/1...t%26%238482%3B

    I'd get this pad - It is made by SKJP and fits right in the radian, as you can see in the picture.

  13. #11
    Carseat Crazy judesmommy's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    I know this isn't going to be a popular response.... But, have you tried ASKING her why she keeps peeing in the car seat?? Maybe she wants to be FF like her brother... in which case it is manipulative.

    I think sometimes people forget to ask kids "why". But, I would ask her why and if she says its because she likes riding FF, well, then I would compromise with her. Maybe you could agree to let her ride FF around town but that she has to RF on long trips or on the freeway.

    I'm guessing my response won't be very popular... but, it's just my opinion... sorry if i offend

    Loo Loo Bee! 3 Years!RF in a Shadow Radian SL 80FF in Frontier 85

  14. #12
    CPS Technician emandbri's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    When I ask her she says "I had to go." She has been in underwear for the last 2 months and in that 2 months before this week only peed in the seat once.

    I don't want to wait on the sunshine kids pad, I've heard they don't work well. I'm going to try making one. I have lots of ratty cloth diapers and some PUL.

    Thanks all!
    Last edited by emandbri; 11-11-2009 at 01:49 PM.

    Emily tech and mom to Jacob 16, Daniel 13, Benjamin 9, Elizabeth 6. Child care provider to 4 other kiddos.

  15. #13
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    Just a thought - she also may be developing a UTI - little girls just learning to wipe can be prone to low grade bladder infections. Watch to see if she is urinating more frequently, is uncomfortable, or develops a fever.

  16. #14
    Carseat Crazy
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    I would not back track and use pull ups. I would use a piddle pad in case of an accident, but keep her in undies.

  17. #15
    Carseat Crazy doriansmummy's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    I think she may just need to pee. Plenty of kids right when they get in the car need to go pee and she may just go instead of waiting. If you want to make sure is not doing this on purpose to ride in big brothers seat, well, don't let her. If you do not let her then she will not have any "reward" for peeing.

    Also, how about making a sticker reward chart? For every day she does not pee she gets a sticker and for every 7 days she gets a sticker she gets a small reward. Positive reinforcement I think works much better with children than anything.

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  19. #16
    Senior Community Member veggiegirl228's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    I used a waterproof pad in the car with DD it's thin and not to big.
    Jennifer, SAHM to DD, 9.9 yrs old, 4'7", 73 lbs. Current ride is Safety 1st Incognito

  20. #17
    Moderator - CPST Instructor snowbird25ca's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    I'm sure my opinion is going to be an unpopular one, but I'd have a discussion with her. Ask her outright if she thinks she'll get to ride ff'ing if she pees in the rf'ing seat.

    If she says no, then trust her and look for ways to prevent it - going right before leaving the house or a mall, if there are other odd signs like more accidents around the house, take her to the dr. to check for a UTI or bladder infection.

    If she says yes, then explain to her that acting out isn't the way to get what you want, and make a compromise with her.

    She's 37lbs and 3yrs old. Don't turn her ff'ing because she's manipulating you by peeing in her seat, but it IS reasonable at this age to turn her ff'ing because that's the way she's most comfortable. I believe in life there are some battles worth having. And while the manipulation battle is worth having, forcing her to stay rf'ing to the full 40lbs in her seat is not one I'd be having. I'd have a calm discussion, set a goal in the future so that there is no immediate reward, and turn her ff'ing when that future goal is reached.

    She's not going to die because she's ff'ing at over 3yrs and 37lbs. Find a way to listen to her and compromise without being manipulated by her, and then feel good about it. To me the issue isn't whether or not she should be allowed to have a say at her age in what direction she faces - it's how she's going about it. 3 is the age where I believe a child who is really wanting to ff and is of a decent size should just be turned ff'ing. The issue here is the potential manipulation, not what direction she faces in the car. Deal with the manipulation, and consider turning her once the manipulation issue has been resolved. There are enough battles with toddlers without turning the car in to yet another one. Just my honest opinion - albeit one that may not be the most popular.
    Trudy - Canadian CPSAC certified CRST Instructor-Trainer and mommy to:
    Janeen - 17 yrs and learning to drive!
    Jillian - 11 yrs, 80'ish lbs, 5-stepping in each car. :O
    Jonas - 8yrs, 65lbs, Riding in an Oobr in each car.
    Both safely riding in either a 2007 Outlook or a 2015 Subaru Legacy depending on the day.


  21. #18
    CPS Technician emandbri's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    Thanks all. I am going to try the pads and see how that goes and maybe get a spare cover. I just wasn't sure how well they would work and if any got on the cover it would bother me. She doesn't fight me to get in the seat she just asks to sit in Benjamins. I am wondering if TechnoGranola is right and taking it out of the van would be a good idea.

    She also used to get to ride forward facing every once in a while because I would take Brian's car sometimes. I haven't taken it lately because I took the marathon out of it after the TC videos. I am going to try the my ride in it and then we can take it again. Maybe getting to be FF sometimes is enough for her.

    She is still a young three so I don't know if talking to her would really help but I can try.
    Thanks all!
    Last edited by emandbri; 11-12-2009 at 08:21 AM.

    Emily tech and mom to Jacob 16, Daniel 13, Benjamin 9, Elizabeth 6. Child care provider to 4 other kiddos.

  22. #19
    CPS Technician Splash's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    If you really think she's doing it just so she can ride in another seat, stop moving her. If this is bad behavior, then you're rewarding it. "I pee, mom gives me what I want." Who wouldn't do that? If it turns into "I pee, I still sit in this stupid seat facing the wrong way and now I'm all wet and I hate it" then the peeing will stop. Kids aren't stupid. If she's legitimately using this as a power tool, then take the power out of it. "Oh honey, you peed in your seat. That means you have to ride home in a wet seat and we won't be able to do anything fun until the cover dries." If you have to go somewhere, just don't take the cover, it won't affect the seat's function.
    Or respect what you think are her wishes and turn her FF since the safety aspect is barely there anymore.
    I'm glad you're a safe driver. I'm eating cereal and applying mascara using my rear view mirror while playing bejeweled on my iPhone. And I'm driving right behind you. 
    You're only as safe as the most dangerous driver on the road. Buckle accordingly.  

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  24. #20
    Carseat Crazy abbi_n_nadia's Avatar
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    Re: I think Elizabeth is manipulating me...

    Quote Originally Posted by mykidsmom View Post
    I would not back track and use pull ups. I would use a piddle pad in case of an accident, but keep her in undies.
    Yeah that! I wouldn't put her in pull ups.... I think your idea of making a "piddle pad" out of PUL (and prefold maybe?) is a great idea! That way maybe you can change her clothes and the pad and just put her right back in her RFing seat. And tell her to let you know when she needs to go potty next time so you can run her into a store restroom or something. That way she isn't getting the reward of riding FFing but she won't have to sit in a wet seat either since she may not be doing it on purpose it seems cruel to make her sit in a wet seat!
    Abbi, mama to three girls! Riding in our 06 Ford Freestyle.
    Nadia Grace (11/06) - Graco Turbo Safety Surround
    Zoe Mae (12/09) - Recaro Prosport
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