Doctor all but demanded I turn DD around FF!

libbiesmom

New member
I took my DD yesterday for her 15 month well baby check. My regualr doctor is on maternity leave so we had to see the other doctor in the practice (which just happened to be my docs husband). After reviewing DDs chart and checking her weight, he said that he noticed that DD has finally put on some weight (been same weight since 10 months) and wanted to make sure that I had moved her to a convertible seat and that she was FF. When I said that she was in a convertible but was still RF, and that I had no intentions of turning her any time soon, he all but demanded that I turn her around. When I explained to him that she was 500% safer RF and that the AAP actually recommended that you RF to the limits of the seat, he just rolled his eyes and told me again to turn her around. ( All this after he tried to intimidate me into allowing him to give my DD her MMR vax and lit into me when I said that I was following Dr. Sears' alternative vax schedule! ) I was so upset when I left that I am almost tempted to drive the 40 minutes to the nearest large town!

Sorry for rambling... this is my first child. Am I crazy for thinking about changing doctors? When my regular doc comes back from maternity leave, she is only working part-time, so chances of having to see her husband again are high. WWYD?

Thanks for reading!
 
ADS

lovemyfamily

New member
We switched pedis not to long after I took DD in for her 12 month well check, but at that appt., my DD was just shy of 20 lbs., and it was about a week before her Bday. My pedi told me it was close enough, and she was obviously strong enough by the battle she gave him when he tried to look in her ears, that I should turn her. When I brought up the AAP recommendation for RF after 1yr, he said in a joking tone "What do they know about carseats?" My reply, also in same joking tone as to not tick him off too bad, "Apparently more than you."

Our new pedi was impressed that I was aware of the AAP recommendations and said that he is all for ERF.

I say switch Drs!
 

Joyofbirth

New member
I haven't either. I'd probably switch. I don't think that doctors should try to bully you. unless there's a way you can call ahead and schedule well-checks with your reg doctor for sure. But I'd probably just switch.
 

wendytthomas

Admin - CPST Instructor
Staff member
If he's not willing to work with you, and instead is going to take a god like, "I know everything just do as I say," tone, then yes. Switch. Doesn't matter if it's carseats, vaccinations, sleeping arrangements, foods, or heck, even something serious like antibiotics or a cast. A good doctor is part of your team, someone who you work with for their medical knowledge and they work with you for the knowledge about your child and family and what will work for you guys. This guy's attitude is sick, and hopefully he'll never regret turning his child around so soon.

Wendy
 

LISmama810

Admin - CPS Technician
I haven't either. I'd probably switch. I don't think that doctors should try to bully you. unless there's a way you can call ahead and schedule well-checks with your reg doctor for sure. But I'd probably just switch.

If he's not willing to work with you, and instead is going to take a god like, "I know everything just do as I say," tone, then yes. Switch. Doesn't matter if it's carseats, vaccinations, sleeping arrangements, foods, or heck, even something serious like antibiotics or a cast. A good doctor is part of your team, someone who you work with for their medical knowledge and they work with you for the knowledge about your child and family and what will work for you guys. This guy's attitude is sick, and hopefully he'll never regret turning his child around so soon.

Wendy

I totally agree, and it's not about car seats; it's about respect.

Our pediatrician is a great guy, but over the past few years it has become obvious that we don't see eye-to-eye on a lot of issues. I finally switched peds (actually just had DD's 7-month appointment with the new guy today), and the difference was astounding. If you're going to dread going to appointments, it's probably best to look elsewhere. I wish I had done it years ago.

(For the record, I asked the new doctor what, if anything, he tells his patients about car seats. He said that within the past six months or so he's started recommending that they keep their kids RF until 2. :thumbsup:)
 

libbiesmom

New member
Thank you all for your replies! I am going to search for a new doctor tomorrow! One other question - should I be taking DD to a pediatrician vs a family doctor? I have used a family doctor since she was born only becuase I absolutely LOVED my doc! Unfortuneately, I had to move away!

Before I found this site, I was one of these that would have turned my child at one and 20 lbs - I am SO glad I found this site and am learning so much! (My youngest sister has also learned alot from this site with me and tells all her friends with small kids about ERF!)
 

wendytthomas

Admin - CPST Instructor
Staff member
Family doc or ped, your choice. One specializes in everyone, one specializes in the young ones. :) I prefer a pediatricians office simply because they tend to have better toys and books while waiting, and more colorful rooms.

Wendy
 

Raegansmom4

New member
sorry you had a rough appointment! I'd definitely switch. I'm lucky - our pedi is onboard w/ ERF, and when he found out I'm a CPST, he started asking ME questions to learn more himself. He hadn't heard that there were now 40+ rfing seats out there - he said "cool!" You totally want a pedi who shares your beliefs on certain issues and supports you.
 

courtfrog2

Active member
Thank you all for your replies! I am going to search for a new doctor tomorrow! One other question - should I be taking DD to a pediatrician vs a family doctor? I have used a family doctor since she was born only becuase I absolutely LOVED my doc! Unfortuneately, I had to move away!

I honestly would try and look for a pediatrician. When I had my youngest I had to switch doctors because of an insurance change. I got her into a Family Practice doctor that was well known and actually I heard lots of good things about her.

Well, at a month old S started wheezing and coughing. Took her in, waiting an hour in the examining room with a screaming kid and a 5 year old. She checked her, ordered a chest x ray, came back "pnemonia". Antibiotic. Same thing at 2 month, 3 months, 4 months... finally I had enough. WTF... I can't keep putting antibiotics in my child this often.

Begged to get into a pediatricians office. One look at all the Xrays he said it was reactive airway disease and gave us a nebulizer. He said that RAD and Pnemonia look similar in babies. Family practice doctors are used to seeing a whole range of ages. They see an xray and sometimes forget to look at ages.

I'd strongly suggest a pediatrician. They study and research little ones. Plus like Wendy said... they have much better toys.
 

romanoma

New member
I honestly would try and look for a pediatrician. When I had my youngest I had to switch doctors because of an insurance change. I got her into a Family Practice doctor that was well known and actually I heard lots of good things about her.

Well, at a month old S started wheezing and coughing. Took her in, waiting an hour in the examining room with a screaming kid and a 5 year old. She checked her, ordered a chest x ray, came back "pnemonia". Antibiotic. Same thing at 2 month, 3 months, 4 months... finally I had enough. WTF... I can't keep putting antibiotics in my child this often.

Begged to get into a pediatricians office. One look at all the Xrays he said it was reactive airway disease and gave us a nebulizer. He said that RAD and Pnemonia look similar in babies. Family practice doctors are used to seeing a whole range of ages. They see an xray and sometimes forget to look at ages.

I'd strongly suggest a pediatrician. They study and research little ones. Plus like Wendy said... they have much better toys.

There are very good family docs out there, and there are bad pedi's out there. Just going to a pedi is no guarantee, you have to find a good doctor. I prefer family docs, others prefer pedi's. But it's not true to say you get better care from one specialty, you get better care by finding a good doc :twocents:
 

swtgi1982

New member
Change Dr! We had to with DS. We knew from birth that my DS had hearing loss. The old Pedi told me (who is very old fashioned) he will out grow it and there is nothing to worry about. When I switched the new Pedi was highly concerned he had not been seen by a specialist yet and was 17 months old. They referred us to the early intervention program immediately as well. When officially tested at 2 he was functioning over a year behind speech wise. It makes me wonder if he would be doing better if he was switched and intervention was started earlier.

Trust your mothers instinct, if your gut says switch, then switch!
 

EmmasMom

Member
When I took my daughter to her 12 month well check the doctor said you can turn her rear facing now. My daughter was just under 30 pounds, so I knew it was legal, but we have the Decathlon and it goes up to 33 pounds. When I told her that she just said you CAN turn her forward facing. It is a very large pediatric group and I think she is required to say what they tell her to as a group so all the doctors say the same thing. She wasn't saying I had to, she was just saying it was an option and leaving it to me.

Unfortunately her father was at that appointment with us and he insisted I turn her. I didn't have the Internet then and didn't know then what I know now. Not wanting to argue without all the information I turned her. :( If there is a next child I will keep them rear facing. At this point she is getting ready to outgrow the Decathlon (maybe in the next 12 months?) I am thinking of looking for a new seat. I heard the Radian goes up to 45 rear facing; how much would a 3 year old forward facing for 2 years like to turn around again? Probably not, but I might check it out. I guess I need to look for car seats for taller children.
 

swtgi1982

New member
I am thinking of looking for a new seat. I heard the Radian goes up to 45 rear facing; how much would a 3 year old forward facing for 2 years like to turn around again? Probably not, but I might check it out. I guess I need to look for car seats for taller children.

I can tell you my DD had no issues with it! Practically begged to RF like her Brother. Before I found this board she was FF from about 15 or 16 months (she was a light weight) But was turned again after 3yrs due to her insistence. (that and we needed a new seat anyways!) If yours is a light weight too and just tall the Complete air has a tall shell / head rest and I can not see my long torsoed, light weight out growing it FF until 6 or 7. She is only 33-35lbs now. Nor can I see the radian being outgrown before that age.
 

amyd

New member
I'm in the minority here, and maybe it's because I can't switch doctors even if I wanted too, but I wouldn't drive 45 extra minutes to switch doctors. Not over something like that. Honestly, I'd have just said, "ok...sure" & left. It's not like he's going to know if you turned her or not. I don't care what my doctor says about parenting issues. If I'm looking for medical advice, great, but it's not any of my doctor's business what way my kid's seat is facing, how long I breastfeed him, where he sleeps, etc. It is unfortunate that your doctor is giving out that information though, because some parents take the doctor's word as Gospel & would turn the seat as soon as they left the office. I'm sorry it's been a bad experience for you there...hope you find someone you love:)
 

Pixels

New member
My problem with doctors giving out wrong info about carseats/BFing/whatever parenting issue is that if I can't trust them with these issues (where I know better), I don't feel I can trust them with the medical stuff where I have to trust them (because I don't know any different).

I'm not talking about just saying that you can forward face at 1 and 20, I'm talking about saying you can FF before 1 and 20 or that you have to FF at 1 and 20. I'm not talking best practices, I'm talking basic minimums.

Also, it's easy to say that you will take the doc's advice on medical issues but not parenting ones, but really there is a lot of places where that line is very blurry. For example, when it comes to feeding choices and a child who is FTT. There's something medically going on with the child, and maybe changing feeding methods will help. So the doc suggests that the breast fed child gets supplemented with [whatever recommendation]. That will reduce Mom's milk supply and can lead to the end of BFing. BTDT.

Is feeding method (breast vs bottle, mama milk vs formula) a parenting choice? Yes, but it's also a medical one. Is the direction the child's seat is facing a parenting choice (for those who fit either way)? Yes, but it can also be a medical one because a child who is not best restrained is more likely to end up in the emergency room. Add in the medical factors of physical development and special needs, and it's not entirely out of the doctor's realm to have input on child vehicle restraints. That's why the AAP has a policy statement on carseats.
 

Kat_Momof3

New member
I think I'd switch... he wasn't remotely open to deferring to AAP recommendations (and they are his governing body)... or even admitting that since the seat fits her with regards to weight and height limits, that it was your choice.

This makes me feel very uneasy with how he would regard any other change in policies regarding child health and care.
 

judesmommy

New member
I would tell him that he isn't a tech and to stick to what he presumably knows.... medicine And that if he finds that difficult that you would be willing to help educate him because no one likes a carseat ignorate pedi. :whistle:

I had a dr. that also disagreed about forgoing the MMR and so I switched Dr.s. It's better to have a Dr. that is on the same page as you. :twocents:
 

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