"I've never seen a seat "jimmy rigged" like that"

jrmo · Oct 9, 2009

Another mom at playgroup this morning was asking me about the new Nautilus she just bought for her daughter (per my rec, instead of a booster.

) and was asking if it would be good for her 2 year old too. I said, it would work, but she would be safer if you flipped her back rear facing. She said she'd never heard of that and her ped told her she "had" to flip at 1 and 22...

She was very interested though and willing to listen to the research.

Anyway, she wanted to come out and look at my DD3's RF Radian to check out the leg room. :thumbsup: Another mom comes up behind her and says, "why is her seat like that? I've never seen one "jimmy rigged" like that. How dangerous!" LOL! I tried explaining the whole RFing to the limits of the seat rec, but clearly in her eyes, I was already a lune.

Of course she then proceeded to strap her 3 year old into a hbb OVER the armrests....

Clearly the ERF message has not gotten out there enough!

tjham · Oct 9, 2009

Was she referring to the RF tether? But I can see how that would look weird to someone who was not even using a HBB correctly. *sigh*
It's nice that the other mom was listening to you! :thumbsup:

jrmo · Oct 9, 2009

You know, I don't know if it was the tether that threw her, but I suspect not, as it was in the middle. I don't think she could see it well there. She said something about a child that large. When I was pulling out and saw her strapping her kid in, it was all I could do to not say anything. And I feel guilty about not.

joolsplus3 · Oct 9, 2009

Don't feel guilty. I find that people who are that judgmental are more likely to just thank you to your face (if you're lucky, they don't scoff openly...) and then think to themselves they are right to keep doing what they are doing, because you are clearly a fanatic and should probably not be trusted at all. (I made the mistake of letting a coworker know my 12 yo LIKES his booster seat, and any advice I tried to give after that was just a joke, she even put her 11 mo FF, because I was like, just too crazy to listen to :/)

BookMama · Oct 9, 2009

joolsplus3 said:
(I made the mistake of letting a coworker know my 12 yo LIKES his booster seat, and any advice I tried to give after that was just a joke, she even put her 11 mo FF, because I was like, just too crazy to listen to :/)

That's exactly why at seat checks I just say that my DD "rear-faced past two and was quite comfortable" rather than saying she'll be 4 in three weeks and is still RF. (Or that when she had to go FF for a few weeks this summer after maxing out her Britax seats RF, she begged me for a RF seat and told me she dreamed that I got her a new seat so she could sit "backward." So I did.

)

I also usually don't say that my 8.5 DS is still in harnessed seats - partly by his preference - but rather just say that he still needs a booster seat and will for a while.

carseatcoach · Oct 9, 2009

And if new moms ask me about breastfeeding, I don't tell them that my child nursed exclusively for 14 months and self-weaned the summer before she started first grade.

Not "scaring" parents is the first step.

simplychels · Oct 9, 2009

chickabiddy said:
And if new moms ask me about breastfeeding, I don't tell them that my child nursed exclusively for 14 months and self-weaned the summer before she started first grade. Not "scaring" parents is the first step.

This type of stuff may be where I go wrong. I always thought people would be more receptive to your info if they knew you yourself were doing it. but apparently it doesnt always work that way hey. I'll keep all that in mind, thanks ladies!

carseatcoach · Oct 9, 2009

Well, yes and no. If parents have believed that they *need* to FF at 366 days and 20.1 pounds, RFing to 5 years is just too weird to them. It's a huge jump that they may not be ready to make, whereas talking about "toddlers" remaining RFing is something they may be able to go along with.

bree · Oct 9, 2009

BookMama said:
That's exactly why at seat checks I just say that my DD "rear-faced past two and was quite comfortable" rather than saying she'll be 4 in three weeks and is still RF.

I wish I had done this several months ago. Unfortunately, I learned my lesson the hard way with my cousin. I sent her info about extended rear-facing in May just before her son turned 1, and she asked if my (then) 20 month old was still RFing. Instead of just saying yes, I said that he was AND so was my 4 year old.

I thought that I was being encouraging and really promoting ERFing by mentioning my daughter as well, but I think I just sounded like a lunatic to her. If I had just said my 20 month old was RFing, then I think I might have won her over.

henrietta · Oct 9, 2009

And if new moms ask me about breastfeeding, I don't tell them that my child nursed exclusively for 14 months and self-weaned the summer before she started first grade. Not "scaring" parents is the first step.

Too funny! I know what you mean about this...I don't mention this type of thing to many people either. DS1 is 4 yrs old and I just nursed him to sleep a while ago (all 5 minutes of nursing w/him!). When my 19 yr old friend asked how long she should nurse, I told her that it would be best for baby to be exclusively nursed to 6 mos, to continue nursing in addition to whatever else to 1 yr, and then *whatever she and her baby were comfortable with thereafter*. You just don't know what you are comfy w/until you've done it...and carseats (ERF/EH) can be the same way.

henrietta

carseatcoach · Oct 10, 2009

Exactly. In those first postpartum weeks (you all know -- engorged and chapped and leaky and all that), if anyone had told me I'd be nursing for over six more years, I might have sent husband out to get formula that day.

And parents who have been looking forward (I don't know why, but many do) to forward-facing on baby's first birthday may be similarly tempted to throw in the towel when we talk enthusiastically about RFing to kindergarten age in $300 seats. Yes, it's a great thing, but we need to meet parents where they are. If that's RFing to 2.5 in a Scenera, that's *way* better than FFing at 13 months in the Cosco combo.

tweetybaby2005 · Oct 10, 2009

chickabiddy said:
Exactly. In those first postpartum weeks (you all know -- engorged and chapped and leaky and all that), if anyone had told me I'd be nursing for over six more years, I might have sent husband out to get formula that day.

And parents who have been looking forward (I don't know why, but many do) to forward-facing on baby's first birthday may be similarly tempted to throw in the towel when we talk enthusiastically about RFing to kindergarten age in $300 seats. Yes, it's a great thing, but we need to meet parents where they are. If that's RFing to 2.5 in a Scenera, that's *way* better than FFing at 13 months in the Cosco combo.

I think this is a milestone for uninformed parents to turn their kiddo FF at 1 yr AND 20 lbs. Of course hearing it from their peds saying that it is OK all the more reinforces that concept of having kiddo FF at that age. My ped didn't say anything to me about NOT FF at 1 but as soon as I asked him, he said it was OK. I wish I knew what I know now back then and my kiddos would have been RF until they outgrow their seats.

Just my :twocents:

Kuan

TXAggieTech · Oct 10, 2009

This has been an enlightening thread! I had never looked at it that way.

Elizabeths_Daddy · Oct 11, 2009

I find it odd how some people respond. It would take alot for me to consider someone a "lunatic". I generally take in things people tell me, especially if they are passionate (like most members are here) about the subject. I listen to what they have to say and then do some research. Thats how I got here and why I am a firm believer in ERF.

"I've never seen a seat "jimmy rigged" like that"

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