What should I do? About my neighbors (LONG)

The people I live next door to, and I don't know them, have quite a few kids...apparently they have some family around the block that also have a few kids...between then I've seen atleast 4-5 diff kids 4 and younger. Two that I know live next door is a baby can't be more than a year old...if that. Everytime they get in the car they put her in the front seat in someone's lap. And this is a daily thing, I've seen it almost everyday for a couple weeks and they are always gone so I know it's happened when I haven't been actually outside to see. Then there is a little boy no older than 4...rides in the backseat, no carseat of any kind and not buckled. I have also seen another boy about his age riding that way too and then a couple other kids. Whenever they pull up, or their family, there is almost always kids in the car just all over the backseat. I've even seen them pull up in one of their SUVs ( and these people have nice cars..which really bugs me that they can spend a ton on a car and not even go buy a cheap seat) but they have a bunch of kids piled in there some even riding in the "trunk space" of the SUV!!!!

I have called the cops before but the cops can't do anything without actually seeing it happening, when I call they send out an alert to all Ft. Worth cops but apparently they haven't been caught or it hasn't changed anything if they have. I really want to call CPS because those kids are being put in danger daily BUT I really don't know if I should? Will they do anything?

Also another neighbor has 2 little girls, one just turned 6 and the other is 4 1/2. Now I have pretty small kids my 6yr old is 46-47in and 42lbs, my 4yr old is 42in and 36lbs. Their 6yr old can't be more than 1-2in taller than my 4yr old...at the most and is thin just like him. Their 4yr old is even smaller. Texas law as I'm sure you all know is they have to be in a booster until 8 or 4'9...well neither ride in anything, they do buckle up...most of the time. The school is around the corner from us, about .5mi, and I see them pull up with the 6yr old up front, HANGING out the front window, like at her waist, she could easily fall right out. I'm sure they think it's ok because it's such a short distance and just in the neighborhood, but obviously it's not

What would you do?

you could try calling cps on them since you said the cops aren't doing anything about it

jasminegrl said:

you could try calling cps on them since you said the cops aren't doing anything about it

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YES! :thumbsup:

You're in Ft. Worth? I've heard it's hard to get enforcement out there. I would probably go the route of trying to educate. What about setting up a neighborhood cookout, and inviting a tech to come speak about the dangers of improperly restraining children?

There's not much you can do if the cops won't enforce it.

I would forget about the local cops, and call the state highway patrol. The state boys are much more likely to get involved. If that doesn't work then CPS is a valid option.

ketchupqueen said:

You're in Ft. Worth? I've heard it's hard to get enforcement out there. I would probably go the route of trying to educate. What about setting up a neighborhood cookout, and inviting a tech to come speak about the dangers of improperly restraining children?

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That would be great if it worked, but if it doesn't they'll know exactly who called to report them to the cops and/or CPS at a later date.

Check your state law before calling CPS. Many states have provisions specifically stating that violation of the CR laws specifically do not constitute neglect or endangerment and are not grounds for CPS involvement.

Also, quite honestly, CPS probably doesn't care either. They're not likely to get involved, and if they do, you'll have resentful parents who hate you (I think they can figure out who called without you organizing a cookout) and won't listen in regards to best practice. They're likely to follow the letter of the law (low-backed boosters until the law says none) and disregard everything you say.

I'm a big fan of "you catch more flies with honey." Also, I try to remember that I can't save every child, as much as I try. Some parents just do not want to listen.

Getting the school on board, if you can, might be a better idea. Talk to the principal or whoever is in charge of the pickup lines, and explain that many parents are in violation of the law, and worse, unsafe, when dropping their kids off. If you work with them to get best practice information out you're more likely to reach at least some parents.

I like the idea f going through the school. to many folks school= authority and they may think if they don't change the school will be the one to call CPS and may have the weight to get them investigated! You could offer info for the school to send home or offer to set up a tech to come to an assembly. I hope it works, I have the same concerns about my neighbors, they are all in nothing or in outgrown, expired looking contraptions!

I think the school is noticing because every Thurs we get a newsletter and this week I saw it said "remember the backseat is the safest for kids and please remember to use seatbelts and careats" better than nothing I guess..not sure how far they would go?

I think I'm going to mention it to the lady with the 2 girls because I do talk to her quite a bit. But my neighbor with that baby is what kills me...she can't be more than a year old and always in someones lap, neither of them buckled in I don't know them so I don't think I could really say something and seem nice or like I'm not butting in too much.

I was surprised when I called to report them the first time the person that took the info seemed really concerned and said he'd put out something to all of the cops...we aren't technicall ft worth, I'm in Haslet, but the ft worth cops work up here. I guess maybe the cops themselves don't care as much?

Maybe I'll contact the school saying I saw that part and that car seat safety is very important and see if maybe they would let me set up something for a car seat tech to come speak to parents at a PTA meeting or some other function

I'd go up to the parents and say flat out that you see that little baby in the front unrestrained over and over again, and you're scared to death she will get killed if they are in the tiniest of accidents. Tell them they are breaking the law, and you would feel sick to hear that something happened without saying something. Maybe showing them how much you care about their children (even when you don't know them) will spark some interest? Do you have a spare seat you are willing to give them at least for the baby? You could offer to lend them the seat.

I don't The only thing extra we have is a backless booster. Does anywhere around here give our free carseats that anyone knows of? Maybe I could get a flyer and give it to them

Check your local SafeKids coalition - if the family qualifies, they could get a free seat or a seat w/ a donation or at a discount.

http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/saferiders/distribution.shtm

In Texas, at least in Tarrant county, it is considered child endangerment. I got a ticket for expired registration and while I was in court, there was also a woman there for not having her 2-year-old in a seat. This was a follow-up court date and she was told that she would be under CPS investigation for a full 12 months from the incident date and that they would do random home checks to make sure she was using a seat properly and otherwise caring for her child. She was also originally pulled over for expired registration.

Okay, so in this case it would qualify. And having NO seat is definitely endangerment. But, I'd try to reach them first.

If they are unresponsive to your attempts to help, and refuse to let you help saying that they don't care-- that's when I'd call CPS.

I'm def going to try and talk to the lady with the 2 girls...the ones with the lots of kids, this might sound horrible but they intimidate me, they are very ummmm I can't think of how to say it without offending someone possibly. I'm really worried if I say something it might make my kids and my life really bad, they seem nice enough but not the type to make mad and I worry saying something would do that...so maybe a 3rd party would be better? I really don't WANT to report them, like I don't want their kids taken away I just want something to do something to enforce is. When we first moved in, so about 8mo ago, I saw them with an infant seat and I wasn't paying much attention but I could have sworn they set it in the backseat, without buckling it then left...now I think I was probably right but back then I thought no way??? And there was no base.

If you approach them kindly, with information and offers to help, out of fear for their children, I don't think they would take it badly.

Most people really just don't KNOW how dangerous it is. They don't do this kind of thing because they know all the stats and choose to willfully endanger their child, KWIM? Somehow, the information hasn't reached them, or they don't fully understand it.

Maybe I'll print out some info and offer it to them...gonna look through some stuff and see what I can print out.

What should I do if they don't listen at all? Then if I report it they'll know it's me

If you approach them kindly, with information and offers to help, out of fear for their children, I don't think they would take it badly.

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I really wish this were true, and I think in many cases it is...but for those that it isn't, yes they might be nice about it when spoken to and act interested, but when they don't do anything to fix it and then CPS or the police are called, some people get nasty, and it doesn't matter to them how "kindly" or well intentioned you are. I wish that weren't true, but it's a possibility.

GL OP!

henrietta

How about something like putting info in mailboxes? You can do it anonymously or just give a page of carseat info to everyone on the street. My neighbors sometimes go up and down the street and stick flyers in everyone's mailbox.

Yeah I think I'll try that first, putting it in the mailbox. Then if nothing changes I might just call CPS I really think that if I try and talk it might turn nasty and I don't want to put my family in the middle of any drama, I just hope the flyer alone will make a difference to them. Makes me sick everytime I see them get in the car

I doubt that this is a situation of them being unaware that it is unsafe for an infant to ride in the front seat on someone's lap. You can't even take your baby home from the hospital without a carseat.

I doubt I would approach them. You really do not want them to suspect it was you when/if CPS shows up. Call me chicken.