Where Does this Come From??

AllieK · May 21, 2015

Where does the thought that a child would happier FF come from??

My DD is 16 months old and I am not even thinking about FF her anytime soon. My MIL however, has started in on me about how she will be "thrilled" to FF and how much "fun" she will have on car rides when she's FF. HUH?? It's not like DD cries in the car or even protests getting in! My MIL is well educated in early childhood development, she is a reasonable person and has come around and changed her thinking on many things (breastfeeding, nutrition, discipline, etc.) but for some reason this RF thing just doesn't click with her! You should have seen the look of shock and disappointment when I told her DD would RF until she was 4yrs... :ROTFLMAO:

brooksfamily · May 21, 2015

My mom is similar in changing with the times, or at the very least just going along with our decisions quietly EXCEPT with rearfacing. She questions it every time they come to visit or we go to visit them. I have explained approx. 1 billion times how much safer it is. Although she doesn't think it will be more fun, she is worried about my daughters legs...but in their car my daughter rides rf in a Diono and she can still literally put her legs straight out right now because she's not a tall kid. So I don't get why my mom makes a big deal out of it.

Kel · May 21, 2015

My children cry less rfing! FFing they are much more demanding. Get frustrated when I don't give them all my attention while driving, they sleep better rfing also imo, etc...

jacqui276 · May 21, 2015

I'm guessing it comes from people who have kids that dislike the car altogether or the bucket seat that are hopeful that turning them will make them less miserable in the car because it is different.

DS was happier rfing. Ffing he drops things that he can't reach to pick up. If he still fit rfing I would gladly have him still facing that way. My mom thought I was nuts too though and I had to turn him by 2yrs 10mo since he outgrew every seat available here.

1mommy · May 21, 2015

Maybe adults are just projecting their feelings onto the kid, most adults would not be happy to be rear facing -although i have no idea why, it seems like fun, personally, I'd love a loungy chair to kick my feet up in the car!

AllieK · May 21, 2015

Yeah when DS outgrew his seat RF and we told my MIL he was now FF she said, "Oh thank God!" like it was a weight off her shoulders. LOL

We're getting ready to fly with DD for the first time and MIL asked if she'd be RF on the plane. When I said yes, MIL said, "Oh no, she won't like that!" and I was thinking, "she's never even flown before, how would she have developed a preference in seat positioning??"

AllieK · May 21, 2015

1mommy said:
Maybe adults are just projecting their feelings onto the kid, most adults would not be happy to be rear facing -although i have no idea why, it seems like fun, personally, I'd love a loungy chair to kick my feet up in the car!

Yeah, I would love La-z-boy seating in the car!

brooksfamily · May 21, 2015

I guess since it comes from a generation of people where car seats were fairly new, and they either didn't use them or used them only for a short time it's just hard to wrap their heads around. I think they just cling onto which ever reason not to rf makes most sense to them and won't let it go.

My mom also insists, my daughter who can't fall asleep any where but in a dark quiet room, doesn't sleep in the car because the carseat harness doesn't let her move around. I have pointed out on numerous occassions that she also can't fall asleep in strollers, or in my arms, or in our bed, or even if there is simply another person in the room with her...all situations where she's not held in by a harness...but still in the car, if you ask my mom, it's the harness...not the changing scenery and lights, noise, and the fact that there are other people in the car. It's exasperating.

griffinej5 · May 21, 2015

My mom doesn't question it, and I install the seats for my nieces in her car. FWIW, the 4 year old road ff briefly this weekend because she was in a car where her seat wouldn't fit rf. She didn't like her legs dangling. We'll have to figure something out when she turns around for good, but we've got some time since she's 35lbs.

jwilliams · May 21, 2015

Some people just get cranky and weird about certain things

It's like the one vendor who clearly thinks we're doing my 3yos harm by carrying them in back carriers at the growers market. Urrggh.

My mom just tells me she's glad that I take care of what seats they're in, which way they face, etc., so she knows they're as safe as they can be in case of an accident, because she'd never forgive herself if something preventable happened. I lucked out.

brooksfamily · May 21, 2015

ahh...my step MIL just made a comment the other day about those kids dangling from their mother's back and how uncomfortable they must be at the local baby boutique...to keep the peace I didn't mention we have one too, and her granddaughter happily dangles from her mom's back when she gets tired on long walks or crowded places.

my bigger concern is def. more for the moms who rebel against rfing. My mom can complain all she wants but her granddaughter rides rf in her car or not at all.

When someone posted that fb article with the kid in the foonf about debunking rf myths in my mom's group. I was the only mom in the group who's kid was still rf past 2...some said they turned at 2...most said they couldn't imagine going that long and turned at 1 or shortly after. This is a group of educated, typically in compliance with AAP, group of women. I was stunned.

erind · May 21, 2015

My mom was good about the rf thing. She is a NICU nurse, and she is the one who told me not to have any aftermarket things in the seat before I knew better. She never drove with my son until he was about 4 because we lived on opposite sides of the country. She also wanted to buy me a keyfit when I was pregnant, but I chose a rear adjust graco since I was just shopping for pattern. Oh well.

jjordan · May 21, 2015

I think adults like to see where they're going, and so the thought of being rear facing and only being able to see where you've already been seems less enjoyable.

bubbaray · May 21, 2015

All kids are different. My DD#1 HATED RFg with a passion, to the point of getting so upset she would have asthma attacks in the car. On the advice of her dr, we turned her FFg at 13m. She was happy as a clam after that. In hindsight, we think her hatred of RFg was also influenced by motion sickness (which she still has).

I think in general, RFg to the limits of the seat is a great goal. We need to be careful of making critical statements, however.

My DD#2 RFd to the limits of her then-seat (33lbs, around age 2).

AllieK · May 21, 2015

brooksfamily said:
my bigger concern is def. more for the moms who rebel against rfing. My mom can complain all she wants but her granddaughter rides rf in her car or not at.

Yes, I am thankful MIL easily complies with RF despite not understanding it (and probably finding annoying!)
Posted via Mobile Device

Mysweethoneybee · May 21, 2015

My youngest (nearly 8 now) screamed in the car from about 2 weeks old until he was turned forward facing when he outgrew his seat rear facing by weight. He also vomited almost every ride that was over a mile. When turned forward facing he quit screaming and quit vomiting. But I think his case was unusual.

Nedra · May 21, 2015

In the case of my own in-laws, I think it is partially their own frustration with lifting and positioning a toddler into a RF seat. I think they figure that if it's a PITA for them, it must be uncomfortable for her.

Also just the fact that she complains about car rides more often, having entered a whiny stage. So they think "bigger kid + whiny in the car = uncomfortably stuffed into RF car seat."

I think my MIL also wants her to FF because she wants to be able to turn around and see her from the front seat. She is very much an "eyes-on" parent -- no amount of safety measures can protect as well as a vigilant adult, in her mind.

So I think it's a combination of adults projecting their own discomforts onto the kid, and adults having their own reasons for wanting them FF and coming up with child-centered reasons for FF in order to feel less self-centered.

meljc · May 22, 2015

FF *is* more fun for my 3.5yo and he *does* like it better (the three times he's done it) but he has never complained when he seat is returned to its normal RF position. That said, we educated the grandparents when he was a baby and now they all understand and support.

griffinej5 · May 23, 2015

My mom has actually tried to tell people with your forward facing kids that they should still be rf. She has a friend who has a baby who is a bit younger than my niece, had many years after the older two kids, who I think was turned at a year old. I believe my mom tried to tell them you're not supposed to do that anymore, and you're supposed to leave them backward until they're at least 2.

Meg · May 23, 2015

All 3 of my kids preferred FF to RF. while some kids don't care, I think a lot of kids do enjoy being FF more.

Where Does this Come From??

New member

New member

Well-known member

New member

New member

New member

New member

New member

New member

New member

New member

Member

Moderator

New member

New member

New member

Car-Seat.org Ambassador

Active member

New member

Well-known member

Car-Seat.Org Facebook Group

Sponsors

Forum statistics