OMG!!! Son was unbuckled!!!!

[momof3boys541]

I went to pick my son up from school today and saw that my 5 yr old's GN was unbuckled!!! :eek:Yesterday we had to take my step son home,2 hrs. there, 2 hrs back, and he sat beside my son in the third row. Usually when he is with us I check the seats myself b/c he unbuckled my baby while I was driving a year ago, and MY oldest told me so I pulled over and fixed it.Yesterday,My husband opens the back and he climbs over his seat to get out.I stayed in the car. Well step son must have unbuckled my son's seat by accident, then his, without telling me!!!!!:mad:I should have reminded my husband to check Gavin's seat but didn't think about it. We drove all the way home and my husband got my 5 yr old out at home and must not have noticed the seat was undone. So when I picked him up from school and put him in his seat, it was unbuckled!!!! I have been FREAKING every since!!! I cant stop shaking. Thank God we got home last night with no problems. I don't think I will EVER let my step son sit beside on of my kids again!!! Thanks for listening to me vent, it has actually helped me calm down a little.Tough I still feel like a horrible mother for not getting out and checking his seat.
This has taught me a important lesson to always check my seats, myself!

[Nikolito]

Dont be so hard on yourself. When my infant was only 3 weeks old I took him to a doctor's visit in my 2006 Mustang (one of the WORST vehicles for safety).I carried my son in his infant carrier. Once inside the doctor's office the nurses passed my son around to be held. When I got home (on the other side of town) I realized I had buckled the carseat into the car, but had NOT buckled my son into the carseat itself. I, also cried at the thought that my infant son could have been killed by even the slightest accident....that is really tough to face. But, you know, now he is one year old and I cannot think of one time that I was'nt overly cautious since that time and double and triple check his car seat. So, we learn to be better and more cautious parents.

[Splash]

Your post made me sad. Your SS is your son :(

There is no reason to freak out now. Nothing happened. Move on, forgive and forget. Just make sure to remind him next time to unbuckle his seat only and if he accidently unbuckles another, to just let you know. The way you talked about him in this post, he might be scared to tell you that he did it. I doubt it was malicious, he probably just hit the wrong buckle. I've done it, and I'm an adult.

[skylinphoto]

I understand how angry you are and how scary that must be..
but your post did come across a little bad...
You're step son is one of your kids....
emphasis on 'kid'. He's a child and may not understand what he's doing.

I agree. Just explain it to him. And make sure you check everyone's seats every time. Explain to him how dangerous what he's doing is.

[lorinick]

Your post made me sad. Your SS is your son :(

There is no reason to freak out now. Nothing happened. Move on, forgive and forget. Just make sure to remind him next time to unbuckle his seat only and if he accidently unbuckles another, to just let you know. The way you talked about him in this post, he might be scared to tell you that he did it. I doubt it was malicious, he probably just hit the wrong buckle. I've done it, and I'm an adult.

I couldn't agree more. I feel sad too.

[BookMama]

It's definitely scary to realize that your kid was riding unbuckled. Definitely have a (nice :))talk with your step son to make sure he understands how important it is that he tell you if he accidentally unbuckles one of the other kids' seats. And make sure you check yourself every time you buckle your kids.

This is one of the reasons that, if at all possible, I prefer to use LATCH for seats that are next to a boostered kid if the two buckles are next to each other. Most of the time the boostered kid can't see the buckle anyway and is just buckling "blind," and this helps ease my mind. :twocents:

[Maggie]

I know how scary it can be, I've had it happen before. Thankfully everyone's ok.

I wanted to say it made me sad to read that you won't let you step son sit next to your kids, like he isn't one of your children. :(

He's a kid. Things happen. I know how tough it is to unbuckle next to a carseat. He doesn't know any better. He may have been told, but needs reminders I'm sure.

I'm glad everyone is okay.

[Pixels]

The easiest solution (if possible) is to move your stepson so he is sitting on the other side, that does not have the Nautilus's buckle next to it.

I learned the same lesson, my SIL sat next to DD's seat, and must have undone it, but didn't realize it. The next time she rode back there (the next day), she noticed it was undone, but didn't think anything of it. She's not carseat savvy, and assumed that I knew what I was doing, and it was secured some how. We figured out what happened, I explained (without blaming her, because I don't, it was just an accident), and asked her to be more careful in the future if she sits on that side. I need to check DD's seat whenever anyone sits next to her, and periodically just because. In my car, she's in the center, and her buckle is on the passenger's side. I load from the driver's side, so I don't see the buckle, and the seat doesn't move unless you really work at it, even when it's unbuckled, because it's kinda wedged in and top tethered.

[momof3boys541]

Definitely have a (nice :))talk with your step son to make sure he understands how important it is that he tell you if he accidentally unbuckles one of the other kids' seats. :

This is what my husband and I did last time this happened, since we decided that it is something we should always do together when dealing with my step son. And I am sure we will do this again when he comes here again.
And to those who felt "sad" because of my post, I'm sorry you feel that way.

[LISmama810]

My mom and my grandmother have both unbuckled DS's seat. My grandma told me right away. My mom didn't, because she didn't even realize it had happened. She unbuckled it by mistake while she was buckling her own belt.

Was I freaked out that my son rode for a while in a non-secured seat? Yeah, but nothing happened. I didn't get mad at my mom. It was an accident, not malicious.

[twinsmom]

Aside from the car seat issue, your post struck a chord with me. I've been on both sides of this equation, being both a step-daughter (from about age 8), and a step-mother now. It is very, very hard for a step child to feel less loved than the step-parent's biological children and it wreaks havoc on their self esteem. By all means, take steps to assure everyone's safety (like moving the GN or your SS's seat as a PP mentioned), but harboring such negative feelings towards your SS is not good for the child or the rest of your family. He might not be your biological child, but he is someone's precious boy. I know I would be devastated if another woman who was entrusted with the care of my child had such feelings about him. Just my :twocents: I'll shut up now...

[chickabiddy]

I agree about the "stepson/MY kids" dynamic.

Also, while 5 is too young to be entirely responsible for his own safety, of course, it's not too young to help check his seat when he gets in the car. If there are seatbelted seats and seatbelted riders, this is likely to happen again -- not because anyone is "bad", but because things happen.

[Maggie]

I don't feel sad because of your post. I feel sad because of your obvious dislike for your step son. Things like stepson/MY kids, "when we're dealing with my step son." Like it's a huge chore.

It's not the kid's fault that he's in this situation. The least you could do is show a little compassion for him.

[zactayaus]

DD has unknowingly unbuckled DS's seat a couple of times. What I did to fix it was to flip the buckle with the release so that you couldn't undo it without really wanting to (the release to the buckle is hidden behind the seat belt, if that makes sense). This has worked great and we haven't had a problem after that.

[Stretchy Glue]

For this very reason, whenever I am arranging a bunch of car seats, and one is a booster or a kid out of a CR, I always try to be deliberate about where the buckles are. I talk to parents about this as they make decisions because it can happen so easily and can have such tragic consequences. Whenever I have to have 3 across situations, I always watch those unbuckling to make sure they're not hitting the wrong button.

I don't want to be redundant, but your stepSON is part of your family, and he is a child too.

[snowbird25ca]

Thanks to those of you who have offered suggestions towards preventing this from happening again. :)

Just a reminder that the OP was venting about a situation and a scare that she had. This isn't the place to be criticizing her choice of words or how you view her feelings towards her step son. If she'd wanted parenting advice she would've asked in the CMC area. :thumbsup:

[momof3boys541]

Thanks to those of you who have offered suggestions towards preventing this from happening again. :)

Just a reminder that the OP was venting about a situation and a scare that she had. This isn't the place to be criticizing her choice of words or how you view her feelings towards her step son. If she'd wanted parenting advice she would've asked in the CMC area. :thumbsup:

Thank you Snowbird25, I was just venting and my choice of words was due to my scare, and peoples interpretation of my feelings toward my step son do not really bother me since they could in no way know how I feel about him. All they know is my choice of words while upset that I drove 2 hrs on an interstate with my son not buckled up.I would have felt the same if anyone else had unbuckled him.
To every one with suggestions on how to avoid this thank you. I think turning the buckle is a good idea and I will try that , thanks.

[ks1978]

"sad" as everyone may feel, I think it's completely justified. If one of my older kids accidentaly unbuckled the baby's seat more than once and didn't tell me, I would flip out and they would not be allowed to sit next to her. I didn't get the same impression everyone else seemed to get. I think the OP is aware that he is just a kid, but the safety of her other children is at risk and kid or not, her stepson has to realize this is NOT a minor issue.

[emars002]

That's very scary! I am glad everyone is OK! Turning the buckle sounds like a great idea:)

[ks1978]

DD has unknowingly unbuckled DS's seat a couple of times. What I did to fix it was to flip the buckle with the release so that you couldn't undo it without really wanting to (the release to the buckle is hidden behind the seat belt, if that makes sense). This has worked great and we haven't had a problem after that.

That's a great idea, my middle one is latched, but I'm putting that in my brain for future use.

[emandbri]

You could also cover the buckle with a sock with the toes cut out so it is clear which seat belt goes to the car seat.

I don't see any negative tone in the post at all, she was venting and that is all.

[tl01]

Your post made me sad. Your SS is your son :(



:yeahthat:

I bet he didn't realize what could have happened by unbuckling the seat. He probably didn't even know he did it... and if he did he could have been afraid to tell you. I'd probably talk to him nicely and quietly to let him know that if it happens again, that you really want to know about it and that it is okay.

I've unbuckled DS's seat before completely by accident while trying to be careful to not do it.

Glad everyone made it home safely.

[TXAggieTech]

One cheap and easy fix is to buy a velcro square that has a sticky back, like you would use for a poster board or craft project. Cut a strip off the prickly said and put on the button that releases the car seat belt. That way as soon as someone goes to push the button it will be obvious that it is the wrong seat. I did a check where no matter what mom did the oldest DD hit the buckle on one of the seats at least once a week.

When I got home (on the other side of town) I realized I had buckled the carseat into the car, but had NOT buckled my son into the carseat itself. I, also cried at the thought that my infant son could have been killed by even the slightest accident....that is really tough to face.

I did the same thing the first time I took DS2 out alone. DH put him in the carrier with a blanket on top. I grabbed him and left. After showing him off at DS1's school I completely freaked out and cried in the car. I felt like a complete failure as a mom, so much pressure on what was fortunately a non-event.

[Jennifer mom to my 7]

I had gone and rearranged the seats in the big van. Then I rearranged them again after I realized that my newly boostered dd would not only be buckling/unbuckling next to her brother's rf seat, but that it would be much easier if she was buckling next to her big sis:thumbsup: I also flipped the buckle on ds' seat as a precaution in case it got stepped on or something. So far, no problems!

[sixmaybemore]

DD has unknowingly unbuckled DS's seat a couple of times. What I did to fix it was to flip the buckle with the release so that you couldn't undo it without really wanting to (the release to the buckle is hidden behind the seat belt, if that makes sense). This has worked great and we haven't had a problem after that.

:thumbsup: We do that, too. With six kids in the car, everybody is sitting next to each other. The kids sometimes just don't realize they've hit a seat and unbuckled it. And YES it is scary when a seat gets unbuckled.

[CelticLabyrinth]

It's really easy to do, I've done it before on accident. As a kid I would have been scared to tell an adult if I accidentally did something "wrong", because I would be afraid I would get in trouble. I probably would have reacted exactly like your SS did- kids don't have a concept of danger, and are often intimidated by adults. Especially if it was an adult who they do not know very well.

[aclayton74]

My middle DS unbuckled the babies seatbelt one day. I told him if he did it again to make sure he told me. Now everytime he sits next to the baby he is like the seatbelt is okay!

[jen_nah]

Trust me we all have screwed up one way or another when it comes to car seat safety. I looked back at dd1 RA (when she was little) and saw it unbuckled. We had been out running errands all day. Heck I don't even know when it had come unbuckled. For all I know it could have been that way for days or had happened the store before.

I reinstalled the seat and on we went. I was just grateful nothing happened and on we went with our day.

I agree flipping the buckle so your SS can't get to when he unbuckles is an ideal solution and one I tell any parent that is putting a booster/seat belt occupant next to a harnessed car seat. Most are very grateful for that recommendation.

[Mom to a few]

I just wanted to mention to make sure that he understands that its not just an issue when unbuckling. When you are trying to buckle somewhat "blind" due to another seat being so close, its easy for the male end of the buckle to accidentally push the release button on the other seatbelt. In my opinion, its easier to be careful when unbuckling because you can just trace your hand down your own belt--It's the buckling that's tough!

I understand how panicked you felt though--I had the same thing happen once when my 1st child was an infant, but it was an adult who'd accidentally done it. When I realized what had happened, I was shaking and naseous--It's tough not to have those panicked thoughts of what might have happened :(.

Flipping the buckle over, or having him sit on the side away from the buckle are great solutions. Good luck :).

[Kat_Momof3]

I think this scare has happened to too many of us (myself included)... it's just something that happens sometimes.

I'd definitely shuffle the seating so that he can buckle without having another buckle there to accidentally hit, or just make it part of the routine for you and your husband (whoever is transporting him... if both of you are there, then whoever is putting him in his seat) to check that the seat is still properly installed.