judgemental group!!

[xaviernkeegansmom]

My children are safe in the car. otherwise it wouldn't be legal.

I see a lot of you are very judgemental which is why I made the statement in the 1st place but I was trying to nicely say that you guys were being judgemental without being a complete b#*^@

BUT anyways I am leaving this nasty group & will find my advice from people who only have nice things to say (or at least can say things nicely) as we at our home don't look down at people as that my friend can be more harmful to your children then you realize.

you even closed my thread so I couldn't defend myself!

I honestly don't know anyone who keeps their kids rear facing after 1. Maybe it's a Seattle thing. But I (see that magic word) I don't know anyone who has the kid rear facing after 1 (I thought I'd say it again, ya'll seem really quick to respond without really reading what is actually there!)

Good Luck & I hope everyone who has nothing but mightier then thou attidutes gets a reality check. Cuz obviously you are in denial about the Real World. & please don't bring up closed minded ones, we don't need anymore of you!

& yes I know one person will read this & deleate. People can't handle the truth & I wont read it again as again I am unjoining this group.

Blessed Be

[BW1426]

I'm sorry that you felt like you were being judged. I'm sure those that were trying to help you were just making sure you were well informed as bad carseat usage is more often seen than good.

Here's a link to an awesome clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2DVfqFhseo&feature=related

We understand reasons for flipping a child RF before 2 years old and that's your choice and your choice alone. We just like to make sure everyone has a good basis of facts so they can make the best decision for their family.

Again, sorry you felt so judged :(

[NicoleP]

I am sorry you are leaving. I havent been on the boards much so I havent seen the thread in questions. But I am sorry you are leaving. I live in the Seattle area and my kids are rearfacing. They are 24months and then an infant. But i do understand where you are coming from not seeing many people doing this. A lot of people dont and I feel I am the minority in my group of friends who does do this.

Good luck :) And best wishes!

[Judi]

Me too, but I know it is 75% safer, so I do it.

[chickabiddy]

My children are safe in the car. otherwise it wouldn't be legal.

There's an awful lot of stuff in this world that's legal, but not safe. I could legally feed a four-month-old nothing but Happy Meals and Diet Coke.

It's not judgemental of us to promote best practice. It is what it is.

[HEVY]

I only seen two people who could have upset you, all the others were very helpful and you seemed to appreciate their help. Maybe you would reconsider your decision based on the majority of the responses you get. Talking to people here is no different than talking to people in real life. Some you like, some you don't.

The reason you don't see a lot of people RF after one is because legally (and the law isn't always up to date) you can turn them at one year AND 20lbs so parents take advantage of that because it's "easier" than continued RF, or because they think they HAVE too.
Most parents don't know about extended RF and how safe it is, and some just don't care. You seem to care or you wouldn't have come here.

Some people may come off nasty or pushy, that just may be who they are, or maybe they are so frustrated that so many children are in danger and it's the same fight everyday. But honestly most here just want YOUR child to be safe, as safe as their own. Most people here are trained and/or continually keep up with the new data and test results.

Sorry you had a bad experience. Some people come in and feel attacked, I did, but after you know all the facts you realize they are just trying to help :)

[joolsplus3]

Me too, but I know it is 75% safer, so I do it.

It's 5 times safer to RF... 500% safer.

to the OP, I closed the thread so that everyone would stop haranguing you, actually, and invited you to open a new thread. Sorry if you felt you didn't have a chance to defend yourself.

[Judi]

Thanks for letting me know. I will remember that!

[mimieliza]

I'm sorry you felt judged. I am the only person I know in real life who has kept my child rear-facing past one year and 20 lbs., so I'm not surprised you don't know anyone who does. I do it because it is safer.

[Starlight]

No one I know in real life rearfaces past 1 year either. But I still choose to do what I know is safer...

it's that whole "If all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you?" scenerio that my Mom always threw at me. All my friends (and siblings, sigh) are turning their 10 months old FF, and taking their 4 yr olds out of carseats alltogether. But it's not safe, so I'll do my own thing! Yay for not being a sheeple!

[mommy2env]

I'm sorry you felt judged. I am the only person I know in real life who has kept my child rear-facing past one year and 20 lbs., so I'm not surprised you don't know anyone who does. I do it because it is safer.


:yeahthat:

Even if you dont feel comfortable posting, stay and lurk. I hope you dont lable the whole forum based on a few people. It really isnt that way. :(

[scatterbunny]

Maybe you would reconsider your decision based on the majority of the responses you get. Talking to people here is no different than talking to people in real life. Some you like, some you don't.

....

Most parents don't know about extended RF and how safe it is, and some just don't care. You seem to care or you wouldn't have come here.

Some people may come off nasty or pushy, that just may be who they are, or maybe they are so frustrated that so many children are in danger and it's the same fight everyday. But honestly most here just want YOUR child to be safe, as safe as their own. Most people here are trained and/or continually keep up with the new data and test results.

Sorry you had a bad experience. Some people come in and feel attacked, I did, but after you know all the facts you realize they are just trying to help :)

Great post, Hevy, and ITA. :thumbsup:

Even if you dont feel comfortable posting, stay and lurk. I hope you dont lable the whole forum based on a few people. It really isnt that way. :(

I second this piece of advice.

[Mama!]

I really don't think anyone judged. Its just a passion here. Keeping kids safe is the #1 priority and in this case, Extended Rear facing is safer.

Hang out and lurk. You'll learn a lot.;)

[Patriot201]

I am also sorry you felt judged. :(



I think there are many here who are "guilty" (I use that word hesitantly) of coming on a little strong when it comes to our passion for child passenger safety. We are not trying to be judgmental or unkind. We are just trying to inform others of what we know. Sometimes that may feel a bit like an attack. That is not the intent. :o We may need posts like yours to remind us to be a little more gentle in our recommendations, thoughts, feedback, etc. Thank you for providing us with that reminder.



Because emotions cannot be appropriately conveyed on the internet, it is difficult to understand the connotation of the language used. Like the others above me said, most of the posts in your original thread were ones that were just trying to be helpful. I also can only see a couple of posts that were potentially judgmental.



Again, I am so sorry that you felt judged. :(


Please do stick around. You will see that most of us are truly passionate about child passenger safety but are also nice people. :)

[courtfrog2]

:happy-wavehello::happy-wavehello:

[solmama]

I'm sorry you felt judged. This forum is here to educate, and some people are more passionate than others, some more blunt than others, and some more compassionate. This board mirrors life.

But, we all have the same goal: child passenger safety education. We inform people of best practice and hope for the best. That's all we can do.

[lovinwaves]

I am sorry you are leaving :(

I hope you get your Senica :love:

[vangelder03]

i never would judge you or think your'e a bad parent
all we can do with our kids is whats best for them and
what is always best for them is what you as a parent decide
based on the facts you get and what works best for your kid
you and only you will now what that is
the goverment makes alot of minimum requirments and its up to us to decide if we want to go beyond that or not please continue to use this website

[orangemnms]

The fact that you are so upset about it clearly shows that even you know that your child could be safer, and are digging in your heels based on what you thought you knew. Its hard to be told that your way isn't the best way, but sometimes, you just have to put on your big girl panties and realize that you can do better than what you previously knew.

I don't pretend to know more than anyone here, because I don't. My first car seat purchase was a 3-in-1, and I flipped DS FF at 11 months, because I didn't know any better. Now, DD1 RF'ed to the limits of the seat, and DD2 will do the same. Its all about doing better when you know better.

Best of luck to you, I hope you find peace and safety in the informed parental decisions you make for your children.

[wondering1]

The law of physics prevails over the law of the land.

Good luck to you and your family in your decision making process.

[snowbird25ca]

The fact that you are so upset about it clearly shows that even you know that your child could be safer, and are digging in your heels based on what you thought you knew. Its hard to be told that your way isn't the best way, but sometimes, you just have to put on your big girl panties and realize that you can do better than what you previously knew.

I don't pretend to know more than anyone here, because I don't. My first car seat purchase was a 3-in-1, and I flipped DS FF at 11 months, because I didn't know any better. Now, DD1 RF'ed to the limits of the seat, and DD2 will do the same. Its all about doing better when you know better.

Best of luck to you, I hope you find peace and safety in the informed parental decisions you make for your children.

I agree that when we know better, we do better. I would like to put a reminder out there however, that this thread isn't about trying to convince the OP to put further research into erf'ing or telling her to suck it up and wear her big girl panties. And doing better doesn't necessarily mean the same thing to everyone. Doing better can be important things like learning to properly tighten a harness, not to use an unapproved LATCH location, or removing an aftermarket cover. There are a lot of ways that parents DO do better, even if it doesn't match your definition or best practice.

Sometimes people make decisions that we don't agree with. This thread was started because the poster felt attacked for the decisions she made as a parent in regards to keeping her children safe in the car. We don't want any parent to feel attacked for making their own decisions - or feel afraid to post because he/she has already decided that following the law is good enough.

The goal of CPS safety isn't to convert everyone to best practice and "our" way of thinking. It's to provide parents the information to make their child safer than he/she was when the parent first arrived asking questions. It's not an "us" and "them" situation, it's a partnership. And without that mutual respect, nobody benefits.

I hope that this thread serves as a reminder of how things can come across online. And I hope that replies to this thread continue in the vein of acknowledgment of what this member has shared in the way of feedback, instead of trying to "make her see the light." That methodology doesn't work with religion either - just gets doors slammed in your face. ;)

To the original poster, I'm sorry that you felt attacked, and then left unable to defend. I just want to reiterate Julie's comment that the thread was closed because we didn't want there to be a flood of "convincing" added on after your last post. I hope that you're able to make use of the information you've gained, and that you'll come back in the future if you have questions. There are a lot of very passionate and knowledgeable people around here & sometimes that passion gets the best of all of us.

I'd also like to say thank you for taking the time to share with us your observations and feelings about this. It's through feedback that we can hopefully prevent this from happening again.

[CPSDarren]

The goal of CPS safety isn't to convert everyone to best practice and "our" way of thinking. It's to provide parents the information to make their child safer than he/she was when the parent first arrived asking questions. It's not an "us" and "them" situation, it's a partnership. And without that mutual respect, nobody benefits.

I hope that this thread serves as a reminder of how things can come across online. And I hope that replies to this thread continue in the vein of acknowledgment of what this member has shared in the way of feedback, instead of trying to "make her see the light." That methodology doesn't work with religion either - just gets doors slammed in your face. ;)

To the original poster, I'm sorry that you felt attacked, and then left unable to defend. I just want to reiterate Julie's comment that the thread was closed because we didn't want there to be a flood of "convincing" added on after your last post. I hope that you're able to make use of the information you've gained, and that you'll come back in the future if you have questions. There are a lot of very passionate and knowledgeable people around here & sometimes that passion gets the best of all of us.

I'd also like to say thank you for taking the time to share with us your observations and feelings about this. It's through feedback that we can hopefully prevent this from happening again.

Well said!

I would only like to add that if it is unfair to be judgmental about a parent due to a few posts, it is equally unfair to be judgmental about an entire community due to a few posts.

This forum serves to educate parents in response to their questions. We don't make this stuff up (usually!). Safest practice is based on an entire curriculum from a formal class and text, with recommendations based on testing, statistics and policy statements from agencies like the American Academy of Pediatrics and the NHTSA. Whether or not the parent chooses to use any form of education is up to them, of course.

[CPSDarren]

My children are safe in the car. otherwise it wouldn't be legal.
.
.
.
I honestly don't know anyone who keeps their kids rear facing after 1. Maybe it's a Seattle thing. But I (see that magic word) I don't know anyone who has the kid rear facing after 1 (I thought I'd say it again, ya'll seem really quick to respond without really reading what is actually there!)


My dad is safe because he smokes cigarettes. Otherwise it wouldn't be legal. I honestly know lots of people who smoke.

Sure, lots of smokers get away with it. Many more have a lifetime of health related issues or die from it. Smokers don't like to hear about increasingly restrictive laws or new studies about the health effects of cigarettes. Many ignore them along with the best advice from their doctor or family, but that doesn't make the information about smoking incorrect.

There is a right way and a wrong way to try to open someone's mind to accept a safer way of doing things. Perhaps we did it the wrong way this time (and for that I can only offer an apology), but that doesn't make the information incorrect, either.

[azgirl71]

No one I know in real life rearfaces past 1 year either. But I still choose to do what I know is safer...

it's that whole "If all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you?" scenerio that my Mom always threw at me. All my friends (and siblings, sigh) are turning their 10 months old FF, and taking their 4 yr olds out of carseats alltogether. But it's not safe, so I'll do my own thing! Yay for not being a sheeple!

Besides me :D.

I do not have any idea what is going on since i have been out of town. It is safer to RF to the limits of the car seat. It is a individual choice to be made by only a parent/caregiver. 1 yr and 20 lbs is a minimum requirement set bey individual states. Keep in mind that car seat manufacturers also have thier own rules on thier seats. For example, Dorel maufacured seats (safety 1st, eddie bauer, cosco, ect) Have a 22 lbs 34inches requirement to FF. My DD does not meet the height requirement and barely meets the weight.

If you have chose to FF your child at 1 yr and 20 lbs thta was your choice to make. When we teach ne techs we teach them to recommend RF to the weight limit of the car seat.

[ctbcleveland]

I too have apparently missed the drama....and I prefer it that way.

But...I am in Cleveland, OH and my DS is ERF.

So....there is at least one person, outside of Seattle, who does this :)

Definitely not the norm here, but it is my choice and preference.