Furious

[MissKatie]

Mom has been bringing A to VBS for me this week since I have to work. Today i got her out of the car and her harness was loose and she had a belly clip! I was like, uh, mom! She KNOWS it has to be tight and where the chest clip goes, was she paying any attention? All she had to say was 'you installed it.' uh, yeah I did, but I expected her to at least pull the harness tension tab! come on, I mean, it was LOOSE! I'm so angry, she knows how important this stuff is to me and how important A is to me, she knows how to do it and it's not hard, so WTH?! There are times that I NEED her to drive A. She just brushes me off, like, whatever, it doesn't matter.
:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

[BookMama]

Aw, that stinks.

Can you teach A where the chest clip goes and how tight the harness should be? She should be able to move the chest clip herself, and even if she can't tighten the harness, I bet a frantic "MissKatie's Mom, WAIT! My car seat isn't tight enough!" will stop your mom in her tracks. I know it always works for me in the rare instance that I forget to buckle DS before getting in myself. (Or when he thinks I'm going to forget to buckle him. :rolleyes:)

[Mommy2Marcus]

I'm sorry about this! It would have made me angry as well! I hope she does better next time. How about teaching A how to buckle & tighten the harness as well as move the chest clip herself? Is that possible!

[HEVY]

My dh did the same thing when I reinstalled the seats the other day. When he got home I asked if he tightened the straps, he said no, I said did you not notice they were loose? He's like you installed it I figured you fixed the harness. Uhmm yeah, I installed it when dd was in school so I couldn't fit the harness. And he knows better and is on board with this, SMH.

[Stretchy Glue]

A is old enough to say "Hey this isn't right." In fact, she's probably able to buckle herself in all together. I think it's really important to empower the kids because there are times where you won't be able to buckle them in and they need to know how to do it themselves.

It's hard to convince (not impossible but hard) grandparents to understand the necessity to keep the harness tight, and times its hard to convince them to use anything. That's why kids that are able to stand up for themselves are able to make sure they're buckled in safely.

My dd at 5.5 years was buckling herself into her Husky without problem. I think she was doing it at 3. 99% of the time I checked her but she could easily say "My harness isn't tight" as a reminder to your mom.

[courtfrog2]

All my kids except the youngest have been buckling themselves for a while in their regents or nautilus. Hannah buckles Stella every time she gets in the seat. I've taught her and she does a great job. I of course check before I start going, but it sure beats me having to climb in the back to do it! LOL. Normally Stella can buckle herself, but she won't because she is usually too whiny and grumpy! LOL.

Hannah is even able to tighten her harness if it's too loose. I just had to show her once. She sits all the way back and reaches the adjuster with her hands and pulls. Works every time.

Kids like doing things like that.

[Morganthe]

I"m confused. Is this "A"s Mom or your mom transporting her? :scratcheshead:

Because if it's "A's" mom, then berrating her won't help. She's the mom and from what you say is their home life, it's really no surprise. You get her too mad, she'll cut off access to "A" again.

If it's your mom, she should be listening hard to what you're saying because the both of you are in a precarious position. She's improperly transporting someone else's child and you're knowledgeable about the situation. Thin ice when it comes to legalities and liabilities if there's an accident.

I agree with everyone else, "A" needs to speak up if it's incorrect or learn to fasten herself in as much as she can.

jmho.

[MissKatie]

It's my mom.

And A is somewhat developmentally delayed and has sensory issues, she hates having her harness tight and WILL NOT remind you... I'm not sure if she knows and doesn't remind you because she doesn't like it tight or if she's just off in her own little world and doesn't notice or care. I have tried to impress into her how important it is. I don't want to show her the harness tightness adjustment because I'm afraid she'll loosen it on her own. She wouldn't tighten it herself anyways since she hates it that way. She does buckle herself but needs help on the bottom buckles if the harness is properly tight, and it takes her forever. She spends the whole time whining that "It's too hard" (meaning too tight) Obviously I'll keep trying on all fronts (working with A and with mom) but I'm pretty much getting nowhere :(