Help! DD says carpool forgets her booster

[my3sweeties]

What should I do?

I am in a carpool and on the 2 days that I am at work, 2 other families drive DD home.

I have purchased for them both booster seats. Their children ar 5th-7th grade so they don't need carseats.

DD has told me several times that they have "forgotten" her booster seat (each family forgetting at least once).

Yesterday she told me that they forgot the seat and the seatbelt was cutting her tummy. She then mentions that she doesn't have a shoulder strap. I freaked. She said she never does, even when in the booster b/c the middle seat doesn't have one.

I am very annoyed but I feel like any discussion with these parents will be taken that they are not safety concious. I have counted up the days and the one father that doesn't have the shoulder belt will only be driving 6 more times this year so maybe it would be better to just ask a friend to pick her up on those days.

Can you tell I'm very non-confrontational??

DD just turned 7 this month --- it is against Delaware law for her to NOT be in a booster seat. She is 52lbs and 47inches.

Thanks.

[scatterbunny]

Almost all state laws that I've read given a exemption for lapbelt-only spots, because booster seats cannot be used with lapbelts. I'd most definitely arrange different transportation for her for the days that the vehicle with a lapbelt for her will be the usual option. I'd also talk to the other family who forgets her booster. They need to know the severity of this: not only is it against the law, but she is not safe. The belt cuts into her, she will be injured by the belt in a crash.

[SamPacey&Joshua]

I am very non-confrontational too, so I understand completely about just trying to avoid it! Plus, I'm shy, so that doesn't help...I have a really hard time saying anything to anyone unless they REALLY tick me off.

If you want to avoid it completely, I'd definitely ask a friend (or a couple different friends to alternate maybe) to pick her up on those days.

[bobandjess99]

If the other children are older/bigger than your dd, they should in the lap only belt, while your dd gets to use her booster in a lap/shoulder position.

Honestly, if they aren't willing and able to transport your dd on the days you are at work, WHY are you even in the carpool? I mean, I wouldn't be participating in a carpool if I weren't getting something out of it...so really, you're just transporting their kids for free and then are going to ask different friends to drive YOUR child on the days YOU need the carpool? That seems ridiculous.

[tl01]

If the other children are older/bigger than your dd, they should in the lap only belt, while your dd gets to use her booster in a lap/shoulder position.

Honestly, if they aren't willing and able to transport your dd on the days you are at work, WHY are you even in the carpool? I mean, I wouldn't be participating in a carpool if I weren't getting something out of it...so really, you're just transporting their kids for free and then are going to ask different friends to drive YOUR child on the days YOU need the carpool? That seems ridiculous.

I thought a lap belt only is not really acceptable for any passenger... even an adult. Wouldn't the need one of the harness vests or something like that to make it safe. I would think that if someone has to use a lap belt during carpool then the car cannot safely accommodate that many children. That would be my reason to get the heck out of the carpool. If my child isn't being transported safely then I'd have to work out another solution.

[tinytoy]

I thought a lap belt only is not really acceptable for any passenger... even an adult. Wouldn't the need one of the harness vests or something like that to make it safe. I would think that if someone has to use a lap belt during carpool then the car cannot safely accommodate that many children. That would be my reason to get the heck out of the carpool. If my child isn't being transported safely then I'd have to work out another solution.


These are my thoughts as well. My understanding is that lap belt only is never safe, for any person.

[Starlight]

the lapbelt is only a "good" option for your MIL.

[An Aurora]

the lapbelt is only a "good" option for your MIL.

:ROTFLMAO:

Seriously, though, get the heck out of that car pool! It's not safe for your DD with or without her booster.

[my3sweeties]

I'm so glad I came here! Not only did you guys make me laugh (love the MIL joke) but you made me realize that "fixing" the situation by avoiding it is just screwing me.

[SusanMae]

You may want to remind those families of the 4 yr old in Kent County, MD who was killed in a lap belt when her mother's van was struck by a drunk driver. That just happened in Jan 2008. Depending on where you are in DE....you could be within an hour of this town.

Susan---finally someone else on here from the Delmarva!

[my3sweeties]

I grew up in Chestertown and I know exactly where that accident happened in Rock Hall. Very, very scary. My worst nightmare.

[my3sweeties]

BTW Susan, your birthday is my anniversary and my sister's birthday... but she was 1974. Send me a message if you want to discuss where you teach in MD... my sister taught 1st grade on the Eastern Shore until my nephew was born.

[SusanMae]

Odds are we might know each other--or you know someone in my family, it's one of the largest there. I grew up in Chester Harbor in QA, but went to school in C-town! I live an hour from "home" and still go to church there.

Going to send you a pm!

Susan

[jwren]

LOL..:D on the MIL joke...I am having a MIL moment right now so that was kinda funny..

Personally if it were my kids I would run not walk away from this carpool if these parents were so irresponsible..I do know some people that do carpool and it's two sets of responsible parents, it works great, they are friends too. This just doesn't sound safe to me. I would never let my child ride in a car with lapbelt only, that's dangerous even with a carseat installed, unless they had some tether anchors installed for head support...but I am not sure on that either... and to the parents that *forget* to put the booster in...:(

the lapbelt is only a "good" option for your MIL.

[Beckers]

I would never let my child ride in a car with lapbelt only, that's dangerous even with a carseat installed, unless they had some tether anchors installed for head support...but I am not sure on that either... and to the parents that *forget* to put the booster in...:(

I have always read on here that a car seat is all a lapbelt is good for :confused:

I mean, I know tethers make any FF seat much safer, but is a lap belt not as safe as a lap/shoulder belt for installing car seats?

[my3sweeties]

Just to let you know, I drafted an email to the family but dh asked me to hold it for a day or two and re-read the email on Sunday before deciding to send it. Waiting is always a good idea.

If I could get out of the carpool I would, but unfortunately I work on Wed and Thurs and I need someone to bring her home, just like they need me on Mon and Tues. I will need a new arrangement in the fall when DS starts K b/c they won't have room for two so I need to just get through this year.

Dh's solution: He drives her every other Thursday. That is only 6 more times so he will get FIL to pick her up those 6 times. A non-confrontation approach but not really a good solution as many of you have pointed out. A problem could arise in that DD could (and probably will) say something like "I can't ride with your daddy anymore so my Nonno picks me up." We are neighbors so we don't want that either. I think the best approach to be honest with them and give them a chance to fix it.