Caroline's story...

[WillnCaroline]

I was reading last night, thinking about what all I learned in class y'day when I noticed my siggy. It had my little boy, Will's age, height, weight and seat. It also had my little girls stats.

Thats when it hit me. After realizing that I put Will (4 1/2) in danger by turning him around too soon, I kind of became a car seat freak. Since then, I've done everything humanly possible to protect my children from the #1 killer, MVAs. I research the best seat, have them installed by cpst's in the most safe mini-van I can find. I take my vehicle for regular check ups to make sure its the most safe it can be for my precious cargo. I also (try to) drive them as safely as possible.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine my child dying. Of anything, but especially of something other than the #1 killer. Although, technically, I guess you could say she died in a MVA.

My husband is the owner of a small bulldozer grading business. He has 4 tractors. The kids have been around bulldozers, skidsteers, backhoes, etc since birth.

The Friday of labor day weekend, we had been having a family yardsale. It was a long day. After the sale, I took the kids to pick up pizza. We were all hot, tired, dirty and hungry so the kids had dinner at the living room coffee table while I ordered (our new regent carseats, ironically) and my husband cut grass.

The kids were playing between their plates of dinner that were of no interest and a pile of dirt that they dig in. About the same time they went out, I heard the lawnmower turn off and the bulldozer turn on.

I didnt think a thing in this world about that. Probably 3-4 nights per week the 3 of them would go on tractor rides around our property.

Thinking the kids had gone in with me, Michael began doing some bulldozer work. Between the time he started the tractor and began working, the kids had walked up. When he looked behind him, he didnt see anything. Then, from the side, he saw Will screaming. He stopped and realized what had happened.

Caroline was behind the bulldozer when Michael began working.

I'm in EMT school. I am far from knowledgable but I do know some things. I was able to begin CPR on Caroline. I was also able to recognize the signs and I knew that there was going to be nothing to do to save her. By the time the paramedics arrived, she no longer had a pulse. The paramedics and docs worked on her for almost 2 hours.

Life will never be the same but I decided shortly after that I have 2 options... A. sink into a depression, climb into bed, cry non-stop and let my family fall apart as a result or B. pick up the pieces a little at a time, go about life and try our best to continue to raise the child we still have in a healthy environment. Its hard.

Anyway, that is Caroline's story and this is a website I started during my pregnancy with her:
http://www.babyhomepages.net/babygirlcooley/index.php

[LuvBug03]

Im so sorry for your loss.
I saw a lovely youtube tribute to her.
I cant imagine how hard it must be, but to continue becoming an EMT and training to be a CPST- That will honor her life very much.
Hugs to you and yours.

[MomToEliEm]

I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your precious little girl. You sound like a very strong woman and I hope from this tragedy, you are able to bring forth great things to this world that your little girl would be very proud of.

[CDNTech]

{{{hugs}}} I am very sorry for the loss of your precious little girl.

[amy919]

There are just no words...

I am so sorry for your loss. I admire your strength.

[mcomommy]

I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story. You are very brave and strong, and you and your family will be in my prayers.

[nhlbluesgirl]

I am so sorry for your loss ((((HUGS))))))

[cadensmommy]

I am so sorry you had to go thru this
My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
Clarissa

[Mom to a few]

I'm so sorry about your little girl. It's hard to imagine the level of pain that you and your family must be feeling right now :(. Like others have said, your determination to become a CPST and EMT is amazing. Many of us would probably choose the "climb into bed" option...To be able to move through the pain to help other people shows so much courage. Thanks for being willing to share her story. {{Many hugs}}

[thepote]

oh my goodness -- I'm so sorry for your loss of precious Caroline! I hope you and your husband and son can find peace and happiness again soon. I'm sure even though she was little she would have wanted that for you.

Please don't forget to take care of yourself and your needs during this difficult time.
((hugs))

[ZephyrBlue]

Thank you for sharing Caroline's story and her beautiful pictures. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your precious little girl. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[mom2riley]

I am so sorry for your loss (((HUGS)))

[arly1983]

My prayers and thoughts go out to you.

[trailrunnermom]

Please accept my heartfelt sympathy for your loss.

[Susan in MI]

I'm so sorry.... I'm praying for you and your family.

[Mama2J]

I'm sorry for your loss. (Hugs)

[azgirl71]

I am so sorry this happened to your sweet DD. I can't begin to imagine what your family is going through. You are all in my thoughts.

[Cindy&Connor]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[stayinhomewithmy4]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts & prayers are with your family. I can't imagine the pain that you must be going through. Your courage to move on is amazing to me. (((HUGS)))

[crunchierthanthou]

I'm sitting here in tears for you. I admire your strength. Our newborn daughter died earlier this year and I have to fight the urge to choose the stay in bed option often. I don't think I could survive the death of my pre-school aged child. ((Hugs)) I am so very, very sorry for the tragic loss of your beautiful Caroline.

[snowbird25ca]

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet girl. Your courage to move on is an inspiration. Many many {{hugs}} for you and your family.

[CandCfam]

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing the story of your beautiful daughter with us.

[hsjwmom]

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain your family is feeling right now. Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))

[Mom2nj]

So sorry for you loss, hold on tight to each other and never let go. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

[broxbourneDELETE]

I am deeply sorry to learn of your loss. Very brave and loving choice to try to stay strong for your yourself, your husband and Will.

[mimieliza]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be so very, very hard to get through each day.

I cant imagine how hard it must be, but to continue becoming an EMT and training to be a CPST- That will honor her life very much.

I agree with this. Someday you will help to save a child's life so that another family doesn't have to go through the grief you're suffering.

[daycaremom2002]

I am at a loss for words. My sympathies to your family. Prayers for all of you for healing and strength during this horrible time.

[canadianmom2three]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be so very, very hard to get through each day.



I agree with this. Someday you will help to save a child's life so that another family doesn't have to go through the grief you're suffering.

You've already helped to save a child's life, by sharing your story. My husband owns a landscape company and garden center. My DS loves to go to work with daddy and 'help' at the center. The crew is always running around on the tractor or the loader etc...so an excellent reminder for us about the potential for accidents to happen. Thank you, and my deepest sympathies on the loss of your precious little girl.

[Jeanum]

I noticed your signature earlier, and I was curious but didn't want to pry. Thanks for sharing. I'm so sorry for your loss and in awe of your strength. ((Hugs))

[BudgieStew]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain your family must be going through.Your family will be in my thoughts.

[erinms]

I am so sorry for your loss, I believe you will save many with your story. I personally want to thank you for sharing, it reminds me on tough days that I should never take even a bad day for granted. Your courage and stregth is amazing. Prayers and hugs to all of you.

[_Jessica_]

My deepest sympathies to your family.
Your strength to continue with your EMT and CPST training is amazing.
Many, many (((HUGS)))

[smithmom]

Deepest sympathies to your family from my family. (((((HUGS)))))

Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter's story with us.

[Michi]

I am so sorry for your loss, and my heartfelt sympathies are with your entire family.

God Bless your family,
Michelle

[jdchic3]

I am so sorry. I greatly admire your strength. We'll be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers!

[melniemi]

So sorry for your loss. Prayers go out to your family.

[mommy2env]

I am so sorry for your loss :( I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

[CRS]

((HUGS)) I'm so sorry :(

[sdjeppa]

I am so, so sorry (((hugs)))

[mykidsmylife]

Caroline was such a special girl and is now a precious angel. Thanks for letting us get to know her.

Love Heidi
(mom2sons)

[Avery'sMama]

I am so very sorry for your loss. :(

[Patriot201]

I am deeply sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[bensmom]

I am so sorry for your loss. My sympathies to you and your family.

[gofastchickenwing]

She was a beautiful little girl...my deepest condolences on your tragic loss.

[Paperdragon]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[all together ooky]

I'm so sorry. May you find peace and healing.

[Gypsy]

I am so very sorry for your loss :(

[MandiRN]

I am so very sorry for your loss. Your courage to share your story shows that you are an amazing and strong woman and mom. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))

[chaoticoctopus]

I can't even find the words right now... but thank you so much for sharing Caroline's story with us, for sharing your pain and your love for her. God bless you and your family....

[LimePink]

Caroline is a beautiful little girl, thank you for sharing her with us. I wish there was a better way to say how my heart aches for you, know that you will all be in my thoughts and prayers...

[Duckieheart]

:::hugs::: Im so sorry for your loss.

[AllieCanada]

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter and her story with us. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts

[Sweet Mercies]

You are my hero E. Huge Hugs to you.

[MommyBoha]

Again Erin..Big Hugs to all you guys! How is Will?

[Heather and Alex]

i am so sorry for your loss! my thoughts are with your family

[natysr]

I can't even imagine the pain. I am so sorry.

[BABYGIRLLYNDSEY]

I read your website and cried. It makes me want to wake my baby up and get her out of her crib and hold her. I am so sorry for your loss. I just can't imagine. Your family is in my prayers.

[maipenrai]

I am so sorry about the loss of your beautiful daughter.

[Kalinky]

I read Caroline's Story on Friday night. I cried and prayed for you and your family. You are SO brave to make the decision to carry on with school, and to know that you are the lucky ones for being able to know and love Caroline. She was a beautiful gift from God. What an angel.

Please know too, that Caroline's Story has really been an eye-opener for us. We have tractors, mowers and a backhoe/frontloader. I shared Caroline's Story with DH and we are now going to do a safety check/ head count (we often have family or neighbor kids over) before equipment use.

I have been thinking about you and Caroline a lot since I read her story. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Baby Girl. My heart goes out to you. Know that you will hold her again someday.

[RJB78]

Erin, you probably don't remember me, but I was a member of p.com sahp way back - cabmom. Your user name (willncaro) stuck with me because my dd's name is Caroline, too. I was shocked to read this story. I am so sorry for your loss.

[Jordynsmama]

wow I am so truly sorry. It is just so crazy how things happen. I always wonder if I may lose my daughter. I always wonder how I would live. Life is just full of things that leave us wondering. I can't imagine how you feel and how your heart has been broken. :( But it is very admirable that you chose to not let it break you and your family. To keep living and to be a mother to your child who now needs you more than ever and a wife to your husband who also needs your strength. I will never know why children are taken from their parents so young, know I where she is and I know she is safe and happy. Keep up your spirit, and I hope from here on out your lives are blessed and your daughter's life will always leave a glimmer of light and hope in your families life till you see her again.

[solmama]

My heartfelt sympathies to you and yours for your loss. I can't even imagine how painful this must be for you. Bless you always. Keep on, keeping on.

[CarSeatPoncho]

I'm so so sorry. Many hugs and prayers to you and your family... take care. You are a strong mama bear and an amazing human being.

[FunkyPunkMomma]

Erin,

You have been in my thoughts EVERY SINGLE DAY since the accident. Please know that we (here and on the other boards) are here for you. Hugs!

Kristen

[bbartlettnfld]

Oh its just terrible... I'm so sorry... Do whatever you can to keep going..
BethAnn

[MommyofBoogieBear]

i had just noticed your signature...and then found this post. I haven't stopped crying yet...thinking of your pain. What a BEAUTIFUL baby girl. she will always be your baby girl. I am actually praying for you right now.....that the Lord will continue to give you strenght...and peace....the way only He can. I am so sorry for your tragic loss, that no mommy and daddy should have to face. Thank you for being willing to share her/your story...that takes courage. And I realize that this is all so very recent.

[ateammom]

I came across an angel today while looking for halloween costume ideas ...a cute little Curious George and the Man with the Yellow Hat on Parents.com. I think of you and your family often and say a little prayer for you guys.

[brightredmtn]

I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts. I truely admire you being able to keep going like you are.

[bombedier]

Erin - thank you for reaching out. I am terribly sorry at the loss of your absolutely BEAUTIFUL daughter. There are no words of comfort that will help - there is only one thing that could make you whole again and bringing that precious angel back to you is not possible.

You are honoring your daughter greatly by your commitment to EMT and CPS. You are also making people aware of these dangers - things that we all too often take for granted. Moments in time that forever change us. Your journey will not end until you are reunited with that precious girl. My thoughts and heart will be with you and I will never forget Caroline nor her legacy.

[papooses]

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcpostcards.nsf/(Graphics)/condolences.jpg/$FILE/condolences.jpg