Any other co-sleepers?

[amy919]

Yet another controversal topic...

Do any of you co-sleep? If so, until what age? I was opposed to it before I had kids. No real reason why, just didn't think I would like it. My 4 year old hated her crib. We tried everything. She would scream for hours on end and literally shake and tremble in fear when we put her in the crib. If we put her in the crib asleep, she was up within 10 minutes. After trying every method possible, we gave up for the sake of everyone's sanity and ended up co-sleeping with her.

My 1 year old slept wonderfully in her crib until she was about 3 months old - then started the whole thing that Kaylie did. This time, we weren't opposed to co-sleeping, so we didn't fight it too hard and brought her in with us.

So yes, it is a bit crowded in our queen sized bed! Kaylie and Teagan both have their own rooms. Kaylie has a twin bed in hers and Teagan has the 4 year old, but practically brand new, barely used $500 waste of money crib in her room.

We've been working with Kaylie for the past year to get her into her own bed, but truthfully, we're so used to the situation and none of us really mind it so we don't put too much effort into it. But, it is starting to wear on us. So for the last two nights, she's been allowed to lay with us for a little while to watch TV and then when she falls asleep, we move her into her own bed. She's made it through the night both times!

As an aside, Kaylie has horrible night terrors. She wakes up several times a night a complete mess, part of the reason co-sleeping was an easy decision for us. I wanted her close by because when she has a bad terror, she is very violent and destructive and I am afraid she will hurt herself.

Just curious if anyone else co-sleeps and for what reason.

Amy

[momof2kiddos]

With tristan we started out co-cleeping because I was scared of sids and he was nursing and I was lazy so it was easier to nurse him in my bed instead of getting up:p

He co-slept until he was about 13 months old,I was pregnant and wanted "my space" in the bed:o

So I did CIO...I know a lot of people disagree with that but he was over a year old and needed to sleep on his own so after 3 days of CIO he LOVED His bed...He slept in his crib until 18 months when we moved him to a bog boy bed because his foot kept getting stuck in the bars(he is a crazy sleeper:rolleyes: ) and now he loves his racecar bed and is one very happy little boy!!

Now with Madisyn I started out putting her in her bassinet...I am a very hard sleeper now and I am scared to death to roll on her plus I like having me and Dh cuddle togeather at night alone:love: and i didn't want to have to teach her to sleep alone later on so I just started doing it right away,and she will have it no other way now.

Madisyn will stay up and "talk" to herself and stare at you until you take her out of your arms and put her in her bed then she coos herself to sleep:thumbsup:

[Splash]

Yep. Until he decides he's done. His crib is beside our bed, and he crawls into it at night now to fall asleep. He normally starts out the night in his bed and then wakes up and comes to bed with us (or, more often, cries for me to pick him up and bring him to bed with us) after a few hours. I try to stay up until he wakes up, because I don't like having to wake up to get him, I'd rather have him and sleep! If I am really tired, sometimes I'll just pick him up sleeping and bring him to bed with me.
The first night he slept all night in his crib (it's only happened once), I didn't sleep at all. I wasn't nervous or scared, I just couldn't get to sleep! It took me a few days to realize that is was because my baby wasn't with me. I NEED him in bed with me! So, he'll sleep with us until he decides he's done. He knows he can always climb into his bed, and he does at times, but he still sleeps in his mama's arms.
I knew I wanted him in bed with us in the beginning, but didn't know how long it would last. Just the other night I was thinking about it. Like the mother who breastfeeds her child at age seven. You start out, both parties enjoy it, and it works. No need to stop it, because both people want it. He wants to be with us, I want him with us (AJ is neutral), why stop it? I can see it lasting for several more years. However, he will be out by the time the next baby comes. I don't want to start trying until he's out of our bed. I don't want to rush him out, and I refuse to have a toddler and infant in the same bed. I just think that is a very dangerous situation. So, he's our birth control!

[tiggercat]

With both kids we put them to bed in their crib at the start of the night, and brought them to our bed when they woke to nurse. They both needed early bedtimes, so this seemed to work for all of us.

We coslept with Greg in this manner from infancy to about 2 yrs old. When we moved and set up his own bed, he wanted to sleep in it. He used to come into bed with us for a few hours in the mornings until he was about 5 yrs old or so.

We started out cosleeping with Megan, but she seems to prefer her own space. She rarely wakes up at night, but if she does she usually calls for her daddy and he lies down in the spare bed in her room with her. Sometimes she will stay up late and then spend the night in our bed.

[ThreeBeans]

I am a huge proponent of co-sleeping. Good for baby (easy access to the milkies) and less risk of SIDS. Good for mama (more sleep). Parenting doesn't stop when I fall asleep :thumbsup:

[scatterbunny]

We are part-time cosleepers now that Hayley is almost six, but we were pretty much full-time cosleepers up until age 4ish.

Hayley was a preemie, so in the beginning I just wanted her in bed with me so I could watch her breathing, and make sure she was okay, and try to nurse her easily at night (she was tongue-tied and couldn't latch properly, and BF was a nightmare, that's why I said "try").

Sometimes she would sleep in a bassinette for naps, sometimes in her crib in our living room (we lived in a one-bedroom apartment when she was born, with such a tiny bedroom there was only enough room for the double bed and dresser), but night sleeping was with Mark or me. Our bed was so small that we got used to sleeping with her in shifts, every other night.

That pretty much continued, and we don't really mind. Now that she's older she's started grinding her teeth, which is bothering me enough to want to get her a dentist appointment to address it, and enough to make me want her sleeping in her own room.

She also had horrible night terrors (scary, eyes-wide-open-but-not-seeing, screaming, kicking, hitting, the whole nine yards) for years, but thankfully they stopped sometime after she turned 5.

[becca011906]

all for co sleeping too! It also helps that dh works night so he could care less! LOL austin co slept from about 13 months (yep started in crib) till 4.5 years old, now sleeping in his room.
Abby co slept from 22 months (yep started own crib) till well still is and is almost 5 years old.
Allie has slept with me since birth...
we are moving soon and hope to get both girls sleeping together in thier own room. but we'll see how that goes.

[amy919]

She also had horrible night terrors (scary, eyes-wide-open-but-not-seeing, screaming, kicking, hitting, the whole nine yards) for years, but thankfully they stopped sometime after she turned 5.


I could write a book on this subject. I'm glad she outgrew is around 5. They keep telling me expect it to continue until the age of 7. You just gave me some hope! It's a tough thing to deal with. And that scary eyes-wide-open, kid looks like they're right out of horror movie thing is downright freaky!

[amy919]

Do you guys get negative feedback on "extended" co-sleeping? I hear it all the time. It's nice to know there are other people who still have a 4+ year old in bed with them.

[scatterbunny]

YES. People ask all the time (I'm sure it's like the extended RF people who have to listen to "when are you going to turn her around?") why she's still sleeping with us, doesn't it bother us, when are we going to kick her out into her own bed. Like it's any of their business. They are judging my situation based on how THEY feel about cosleeping.

It works fine for us. Hayley has finally gotten to the point where she doesn't mind sleeping alone once in awhile, and she does sleep all night. So Mark and I can get some "adult" time at bedtime once or twice a week now (and people always assume cosleeping parents never have time for intimacy; that's so far off-base; there's many hours in a day and many rooms in a house :p ). However, we've gotten so used to trading off and on with Hayley that it's hard for us to sleep together! In my defense, I've always been a person who gets better sleep alone.

It works for our family, and for many families--it bothers me when people judge based on things like this. How can people judge for something that parents do to BENEFIT their child? That's what I don't get. I get the most judgment from people who do some horrible things, things that do not benefit their child in any way; and if I mention any of MY concerns, all hell will break loose.

Double standards suck.

[Morganthe]

I didn't intend to start out co-sleeping, but complicated circumstances were such that we (dh, me, & dd) ALL felt better doing so. I ended up purchasing a Humanity Co-sleeper (http://www.humanityinfantandherbal.com/humanityfamilybed.html) after a few months that helped me feel more secure with her on the outer part of the bed. I didn't want her inbetween dh & I, he is such a mover when he sleeps. :(

She easily transitioned from full time co-sleeping around 7 months old. We both agreed on it. She'd go to bed in her room in her crib and then around midnight she'd wake up hungry. I'd go get her, change diaper, and then she'd be tucked in nursing the rest of the night. Nighttime feedings ended with her baby growth finally slowed at 18 months, again by her choice. She had grown 6 inches in 6 months to 33 inches tall! Only 3 inches grown in the next 6 months. :D

That became my magical period of catch-up sleep. For 6 wonderful months, she'd sleep in her crib for 12 straight hours. She'd wake around 6 and babble herself back to sleep until 7:15. I was in heaven & it came to an abrupt end when we had to take off her crib side and make it into a toddler bed. After that, her brain decided to grow. Every morning she'd pop in any time after 5am... I FOUND you Mommy :p And her speech was noticeably better. That's when survival nursing came into play. Cuddle back into bed and anything to make her rest longer. Of course, I'd go back to sleep.

That's what's been happening ever since. I've found that unless I"m sick or really exhausted, I can't sleep with her by my side any longer. So she's not allowed to crawl in until 6:15. Any time earlier, she's sent to her cot in the corner of our bedroom and she'll sleep a little longer. Otherwise we're both miserable gits all day long :(

So I don't know if what we're doing could be considered co-sleeping or not. :shrug-shoulders: I no longer have the co-sleeper pad & bolster on our bed in a very long while and I'm looking to sell it in the near future. Great gear, but I'm not having any more little ones :(

[skaterbabscpst]

We cosleep too. God knows, with Joyjoy we'd never have gotyten ANY sleep at all if we didn't. Even now she sleeps better of one of us is laying down with her.

[Morganthe]

Double standards suck.

You can say that again :cool:

[amy919]

...people always assume cosleeping parents never have time for intimacy; that's so far off-base; there's many hours in a day and many rooms in a house :p ).

LOL - Someone actually asked how I could have gotten pregnant with Teagan since Kaylie was still in our bed. I should have told them we just shove her to the other side of the bed*. It amazes me that people think you ONLY have sex in bed. How boring for those people! If anything, co-sleeping help your sex life - you're forced to be creative!

*disclaimer - that was a joke - we do NOT do that!

[rlsadc]

we still co sleep with aleah, and i wouldnt have it any other way..dh maybe:shrug-shoulders: ... but she sleeps better with us, and i sleep better with her. before she was born we had it all planned out...HA! so much for that...i just bought a bedrail, and i knew i wasnt going to roll over on her, she would let me know if i did (atleast now she would, she quite aggressive when she is mad) anyways, i coslept with my mom and my brother untill i was pretty old (3rd of 4th grade) and it never was an issue for either of us. it was just the three of us, so it wasnt crowded. aleah will start sleeping in her bed sooner than that im sure...i dont think i would let her CIO, but there are other methods. i know that my aunt put her kids in their room. after their bedtime story they didnt have to go to sleep, but the lights had to be off. they would usually play for 15 minutes, and then off to bed they went...and i am sure that is probably a route i will try, but only after i feel she is ready, and who knows when that will be.

[joolsplus3]

Yet another controversal topic...

Do any of you co-sleep? If so, until what age? I was opposed to it before I had kids. No real reason why, just didn't think I would like it. My 4 year old hated her crib. We tried everything. She would scream for hours on end and literally shake and tremble in fear when we put her in the crib. If we put her in the crib asleep, she was up within 10 minutes. After trying every method possible, we gave up for the sake of everyone's sanity and ended up co-sleeping with her.

My 1 year old slept wonderfully in her crib until she was about 3 months old - then started the whole thing that Kaylie did. This time, we weren't opposed to co-sleeping, so we didn't fight it too hard and brought her in with us.

So yes, it is a bit crowded in our queen sized bed! Kaylie and Teagan both have their own rooms. Kaylie has a twin bed in hers and Teagan has the 4 year old, but practically brand new, barely used $500 waste of money crib in her room.

We've been working with Kaylie for the past year to get her into her own bed, but truthfully, we're so used to the situation and none of us really mind it so we don't put too much effort into it. But, it is starting to wear on us. So for the last two nights, she's been allowed to lay with us for a little while to watch TV and then when she falls asleep, we move her into her own bed. She's made it through the night both times!

As an aside, Kaylie has horrible night terrors. She wakes up several times a night a complete mess, part of the reason co-sleeping was an easy decision for us. I wanted her close by because when she has a bad terror, she is very violent and destructive and I am afraid she will hurt herself.

Just curious if anyone else co-sleeps and for what reason.

Amy

Yup, lots o' toy filled cribs and kid filled beds at our house :D

My friend said, gee, if you are raising baby animals at the zoo, and the mother stuck the baby in another room to cry it out, you'd take that baby away from that bad mama...it just isn't natural to expect babies not to sleep with their parents. Some do, and that's COOL! I'd kill for my own bed, lol. I wish I hadn't made my elder two cry it out so many times, but they seem to be ok (darn Ferber going back on his old advice...). Leah's really never been out of our bed at night, though I'm making her learn to go to sleep without nursing (lots of screaming the first couple weeks, but now she's getting pretty cool with the routine of lying down, nursing, then having to put herself to sleep while I watch TV or read, she only whimpers and rolls around a little and goes to sleep on her own easily). Meanwhile, her crib is in her sister's room and her sister, 7, is SO sad that her brother has left and the baby's never there that she sleeps with us or on her brother's floor :(

[rlsadc]

Yup, lots o' toy filled cribs and kid filled beds at our house :D




they do make great toy boxes:)

[amy919]

We cosleep too. God knows, with Joyjoy we'd never have gotyten ANY sleep at all if we didn't. Even now she sleeps better of one of us is laying down with her.

Same here! Neither of my kids can fall asleep without being held or cuddled, unless they're in the car. And I don't mind it one bit. I'll hold them and cuddle them as long as they'll let me!

[oxeye]

Co-sleepers here - people who see our bedroom must think we are nuts. We have a side-carred crib on one side, a california king in the middle, and a twin bed on the other side. :eek: We all like to sleep in the same room but we all need our space. LOL

My 3.5 year old has been in our bed since she was 6 weeks old. I planned on co-sleeping when I was pregnant (I was more gung-ho AP back then than I am now) but medical problems and the fact that I hadn't figured out nursing laying down made me try out the crib. 6 very sleep-deprived weeks later, once I figured out side-lying nursing, she was in our bed. And that's where she's been ever since.

My 20 month old has only slept two nights away from me - when she was in an isolette in the hospital getting phototherapy (and I was sleeping in the chair right next to her the entire time). Her first days in the hospital she slept in the crook of my arm (much to the nurses' dismay) and next to me from our first day back at home. I was never sleep-deprived when she was a newborn which was just amazing to me.

I'd like to get them in their own rooms eventually, but this works for us for now so we're not forcing it to change. :)

[mommy4girls]

they do make great toy boxes:)
Laundry baskets too ;)

we co-slept with all of them. Johannah we kicked into her own bed WAY too early IMO :( Laura fell asleep on my lap one night when I was online :whistle: and I laid her on the floor on a blanket and she slowly moved down the hall on that blanket to her room, it took maybe a week and it was SO easy (she was about 18 months old). Kendra ended up sleeping with her sisters when she was under 18 months old and she slept in their bed till she and Laura started kicking eachother in their sleep. Ilana was about 4 when I finally left her bed (dh had had enough of her sleeping with us! LOL!)

[Mumoflittleguys]

Cosleepers here, too. Small's still under the weight limit for the Arm's Reach, and he sleeps there at night. Big has his own room and bed and uses it--he moved out around 2 when he was ready (I wasn't quite yet).

Some expressed concern over the 'sanctity of our marital bed', but we managed to conceive two more children with cosleeping kids, so obviously things worked out.:D

[broken4u05]

Sorry but i do not think i will co-sleep. But again i am not a mom so i do not know. But as of right now i do not see anything wrong with it but i love my bed to myself and can hardly stand a bf in the bed to add a child i am not sure i could do that. But again things could always change

[scatterbunny]

See, I hate sharing a bed with Mark or my sister or my mom, too--but my child, there's no comparison. :) Now that she's older and grinds her teeth and kicks me it isn't so great, but as a baby, there was nothing better than sleeping next to her.

[MagnificentMama]

I was anti co sleeping when I was pregnant, annnnddd 4 1/2 years later, I have a constant visitor in my bed :whistle: The joke around here is that as long as she's out by high school, it'll be okay!

I fully admit that cosleeping reasons were purely selfish, my tired butt didn't want to walk 5 feet away to the crib every hour or so. :o Now i cant imagine her not being in my bed. She has her own twin bed in my room, and sometimes she'll use it- but more often than not she's in my bed. I feel like i've tried everything to transition her but she's just not ready. Not to mention when she does fall asleep on her bed, i wake up wondering where she is b/c there isn't some appendage kicking, poking, pulling, tugging, laying over, or smothering me.

I've heard a lot of little snide comments about how co sleeping must be easier because i'm a "single mom and all" or "older" parents giving me their advice about how i need to "nip that in the bud". I just want to know how they know about my current sex life and what works for me and my daughter. It's not like i went up to a random group and professed my love for co sleeping. People wonder why i'm half anti social, it's ignorant comments like those that make me want to crawl under a rock sometimes

[Synchro246]

Co-sleepers here - people who see our bedroom must think we are nuts. We have a side-carred crib on one side, a california king in the middle, and a twin bed on the other side. :eek: We all like to sleep in the same room but we all need our space. LOL

My 3.5 year old has been in our bed since she was 6 weeks old. I planned on co-sleeping when I was pregnant (I was more gung-ho AP back then than I am now) but medical problems and the fact that I hadn't figured out nursing laying down made me try out the crib. 6 very sleep-deprived weeks later, once I figured out side-lying nursing, she was in our bed. And that's where she's been ever since.

I had 6 weeks of sleep deprivation too because I couldn't nurse side-lying. When I finally figured it out I was sooooooooooooooo happy.

Seamus co-sleeps full time. We have a sidecar set up (not with a crib--it's actually with a chaise/fainting couch thing and a bed rail) He started being able to fall asleep without nursing around 10 months and since about 16 mo he falls alseep without nursing every night. I have no upper age limit to cosleeping. I don't care if we have one room that's a dedicated BED room and we have all the dressers in another dedicated Dressing room-LOL.

[broken4u05]

I do think that just like other things it can go to far too. My ex had his mom still sleep with him at times and he was 19... ewwwww. Yes i still lay my head in my mom's lap at times and we will sleep in the same bed at my grandmas but come on at 19 he did not need to cuddle with his mom

[papooses]

I'm the youngest of 5 (they were all in highschool whenI was born) -- I have 1 dozen nieces/nephews & I grew up observing that the only way to get a baby/toddler to sleep was CIO ... yet these kids all ended up bothering their parents by coming into their bed throughout elementary school :rolleyes: My 1st night home from the hospital after giving birth I tried the crib (thinking there just wasn't any other way) -- I was spastic with worry! Every little sound or absence of sound on the monitor sent me pouncing from my bed with my heart in my throat :o I decided to cosleep right after that :love:

Cosleeping may very well be the reason Leila & I made it through my leaving my abusive ex as well as we did :thumbsup: She transitioned through many intense changes during that time & I believe that cosleeping was our grounding force. She began sleeping in her own bed (in my room) as a toddler, then into her own room as a preschooler & never asks to cosleep anymore unless she's ill :whistle: However, she was always an easy sleeper: never napping but sleeping 12 hours straight all night....

My favorite cosleeping links :twocents:


Amby Baby Hammock
http://www.ambybaby.com/
Arms Reach
http://www.armsreach.com/default.asp
Children Need Touching and Attention, Harvard Researchers Say The Harvard University Gazette
http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html
Dr. Sears: SAFE SLEEPING WITH YOUR BABY
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp
Learn More About Cosleeping
http://cosleeping.org/
Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Lab
Dr. James McKenna, Director
http://www.nd.edu/%7Ejmckenn1/lab/faq.html
Unhindered Living: Cosleeping Research
http://www.unhinderedliving.com/bedresearch.html+ API > http://attachmentparenting.com/artbenefitscosleep.shtml / http://attachmentparenting.com/cosleepindex.shtml

[MagnificentMama]

She transitioned through many intense changes during that time & I believe that cosleeping was our grounding force.

ITA! My ex is anti co sleeping, which is fine. But I personally can see it as a detriment for him. She refuses to sleep over there anymore and I'm pretty sure it's because I'm not there to snuggle with :o

But I do truly think what got us through some very rough times was the fact that we co sleep. I believe I'm way more attached, and she feels more attached to me because of that certain fact. I'm sure DD doesn't care about the CDs I used, or what sling i used and for how long. I know it sounds silly b/c it's really just us sharing the same bed, but I feel such a huge attachement to her and I do believe co sleeping is one of the big reasons why i feel that way.

[Laurenc0101]

I don't know if we are considered co-sleepers or not. After ds was born, dh was transferred to the night shift. I couldn't bear to have ds in another room. He slept in a mini-crib next to our bed for 12 months. Then, when he started outgrowing that, we moved his full-size crib in. He falls asleep alone and prefers his crib over our bed hands-down, but I love the closeness.

Lauren:)

[mommy4girls]

See, I hate sharing a bed with Mark or my sister or my mom, too--but my child, there's no comparison. :) Now that she's older and grinds her teeth and kicks me it isn't so great, but as a baby, there was nothing better than sleeping next to her.

LOL!! Ilana and I moved to her room in a twin bed when she was 1. People couldn;t understand why I moved out of my bed. But honestly, I trained her to sleep against the wall and I got almost all of the bed to myself. She didn't steal the blankets or push me off the bed. It was nice sleeping with her. Dh is a bear to sleep next to. He steals the blankets, smacks his lips, kicks, pushes, snores and the list goes on ;) Of course, my baby grew and started to kick and push and grinds her teeth (argh!). About a year ago she took up most of the room and started asking me to leave in the middle of the night, but if I left she cried :rolleyes: About 6 months ago (maybe a year now) I moved back to my bed and let's just say, I think she has the comfiest bed in teh house:p