How do you get your husbands on board?!

[Loves2sing]

When my friend had her 1st DS, we all thought she was crazy about her carseat views. You know the usual, "lighten up!", and "That kid can't breathe he is in that seat so tight!" Then when I had my DD, she was the one I went to for advice. Since then she has turned me on to this site, and I have become as "crazy" as she is about carseats. my husband however, has not. Now in his opinion, I am crazy too, and I need to lighten up. Thankfully he respects it though, and uses dd seats the way that I would. Problem is, I want to get a SK Radian for my car, and put her Marathon in his car, so that she can be RF all the time. Right now I have her FF:thumbsdown: in his car in an Evenflo Chase. I want her to Rf in his car as well! He thinks I am nuts and says I need to wait for the seat to go on sale at Canadian Tire. I have told him over and over how amazing the Radian is, and how it would fit our lifestyle so well, and all this for $199!! I don't know what else to tell him to convince him otherwise. Any advice? I want that seat SOOO bad!

[TheRealMacGyver]

One word...Bribery:D

My wife gets everything she wants that way!

[Loves2sing]

Lmao! :D
I have tried bribery as a form of persuasion in the past, but it doesn't work with him. He a cheapy to the bone.

[DaniCPST]

Oh all men have a weakness...you just gotta find his;) !! Luckily for me my husband knows how much I love carseats, strollers, and other random baby things so when he wants something he bribes me with something of the like.
Have you tried the "I either want this (insert $200 pair of shoes or a $200 purse here) or the Radian for Jenna and I just can't decide." Maybe you can trick him into letting you get the Radian. Good luck!
Oh or you could just go out and buy it and say Grandma bought it:D !!

[Morganthe]

Ummmm, forget money. Either lots of sex as a persuasion or lack of sex as an incentive is the best bribe that women have employed throughout history. Wars have been won & lost because of sexual intrigues :p

Petty, I admit it. Better than whining or nagging though. If it's something you truly feel this strongly about, use those womanly wiles to change his mind :love:

:D

[Loves2sing]

That's how I got the Chase! But Grandma did actually buy it. I told her that Ryan, Jenna, and I didn't need stocking stuffers for Christmas, but Jenna needed a new seat for Ryan's car. The one we were using before was an ancient used Eddie Bauer from a friend. It expired in 2007, and I didn't want to use it until then. Stupid me, I didn't think about RF in his car, I had Jenna FF in my car at that time, but have since switched her to RF again. Right now the plan is to wait until the Radian is on sale and then sell the Chase. But I have just thought of something new. What if I tell him all I want for Mother's day is Jenna's safety! Guilt, and present time for me... maybe that will work. If not, our anniversary is coming up in June, and my mil always sends us cash. I call Canadian Tire all the time to see if they are ever going to put the Radian on sale. I think I will call them again right now. The answer has always been no, but maybe it will be different this time! :) Prayers for me!!

[lovinwaves]

:yeahthat: What Morganthe said.

Ok, I'm glad this is Coffee Break because...

Maybe not just sex, but maybe some....um....certain "sexual acts" will help the cause LOL!

I am the queen of getting what I want with my Husband. I have found his "sweet spots", if you will.

Is it the cost of the carseat that he doesn't like, or is it that he doesn't think you guys need another one?

Has he bought anything recently? My husband bought an over $300 remote control, so I had some definite spending power there for awhile.

Good luck! and keep us posted... :D

[momof2kiddos]

Ummmm, forget money. Either lots of sex as a persuasion or lack of sex as an incentive is the best bribe that women have employed throughout history. Wars have been won & lost because of sexual intrigues :p

Petty, I admit it. Better than whining or nagging though. If it's something you truly feel this strongly about, use those womanly wiles to change his mind :love:

:D

Anything I want I get it by giving him a triple dose of "amazing" sex.:whistle:

[lovinwaves]

Also, if there is something I want that is not really a "need", then Dh says "Fund it Baby, and it's yours".

So, I get on my Friendly Local Craigslist, and start selling stuff around the house. Get creative with what you sell. You'd be surprised what you can sell for good money too.

For instance, we sold all the sawdust, and leftover pieces of Red Cedar wood from our Deck that got built. Some guy bought it up to burn in his fireplace for the smell. Another lady bought the pieces to put in a sock drawer LOL!

[Yoshi]

Ha ha....None of that works on my DH! He's smarter than the average bear, I guess. That, and he's 56 yrs old!!!!:p

I just tell him we need something and I buy it. Done. And I am a SAHM, no income of my own, but I take care of all the kid stuff, so it's MY job to know what we need. If we need a new %#@$** (whatever gizmo) for the computer that costs $150, he gets it without my consent- that's his arena.

[TheRealMacGyver]

See, that's what I was talking about:D I hate to "fuel the opposition" here, but I just don't think women really have to worry all that much about getting what they want. I think men have it much worse because we have nothing to offer as "bait":D

[Loves2sing]

My friends all seem to get what they want by giving sex acts, but it doesn't work for us. The problem (?) is that we both like sex so much,so it is very common in our marriage, and not very useful as a bribery tool. I have tried to with hold, but he knows my sweet spots too so I always give in. :rolleyes: I need some self control!! He's just so darn irresistable! The main thing that is holding him back is the $ issue. He is a little tight when it comes to our finances. But I respect that as we are in a much better position financially then most our age, and we are even in a better position than my parents. But we wouldn't be here if he wasn't super tight. Maybe when we sell out Sattelite recievers, he wants to buy an Archos, then maybe I will presuade him to buy the Radian as well.

[twokidstwodogs]

I completely understand why you want her RF in DH's car, but is there a reason why you really want a Radian for your car? The top slots are higher than the Marathon's, of course, but that won't matter to you for a long time. Do you not like the Marathon? And if not, is there something a little cheaper than a Radian that would do?

[broken4u05]

See, that's what I was talking about:D I hate to "fuel the opposition" here, but I just don't think women really have to worry all that much about getting what they want. I think men have it much worse because we have nothing to offer as "bait":D

If the guy knows what the girl likes than it can work both ways. And i love sex so i can not stand to not have it so i find it hard to say no to it.

[Loves2sing]

I want the marathon in dh's car because it should fit better than the Radian, as dh has a 2 door. So I shouldn't have a problem with installing the Marathon. I want the Radian for my car because it will last so much longer than most other seats. If my dd remains on her growth pattern, she should fit in the radian until she is about 8 yrs old. I know I could get a cheaper Rf seat, but then Dh would have a fit when she outgrew it ff, and I would need yet another seat.

[djma]

I've always heard that it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission! ;)

[Mom2nj]

I don't ask, I just do it. If it is for the kids safety, I buy it, then tell him when it comes in the mail or it's in the car. I moved DD to soon to a booster, then decided she wasn't safe enough, bought the Radian, which I love. DH could careless, as long as they are safe. I just explained that she wasn't old enough or safe enough and I would sell the others. I am a SAHM as well, I have 2 daycare kids which help in our income, but he is the main provider. I guess I could just say it was my part of the income if he really got mad...

[Mom2nj]

I was thinking what djma said too!!!! I just forgot to write it.

[Susan in MI]

I don't go for game playing and/or manipluation in marriage. I prefer to be honest and straight forward and I expect the same from dh. I just tell him why I want a specific seat; higher weight harness and taller harness have been my reasons. He will usually tell me that he doesn't like spending the money on that, but to do what I want. I did show him the value of the MA by breaking it down into a monthly cost and compared it to how much we spend per month on other things. Currently, I want a Recaro YS but I really can't justify it so I won't push. If dh decides it is too much of a pain to not have a seat in his car, then I will likely get the Recaro at that point.

For the rearfacing issue, I had turned youngest dd ffing at 18 months, when she finally reached 20 lbs. Then, I learned how much safer it was to rf so I turned her back at 24 months. Dh wasn't too happy but I showed him the literature and crash test videos to back up my opinion. He is a smart man and understood my reasons then and let me do what was best.

[DaniCPST]

:yeahthat: What Morganthe said.

Ok, I'm glad this is Coffee Break because...

Maybe not just sex, but maybe some....um....certain "sexual acts" will help the cause LOL!

I am the queen of getting what I want with my Husband. I have found his "sweet spots", if you will.


Haha! Yeah when I decided I wanted a Sienna less than a year after my husband bought me the Saab 9-5 Aero wagon I had wanted sooo bad...I just promised "a certain act" every night for a month! :D Haha, I of course didn't hold up my part of the bargain but it did work...because I did get the van he said I would never get the following weekend. That deal still works even though he should know by know I never follow through with my promises.:p

[TheRealMacGyver]

I just promised "a certain act" every night for a month! Haha, I of course didn't hold up my part of the bargain

That is soooo wrong:thumbsdown:

[lovinwaves]

That is soooo wrong:thumbsdown:

What that she bribed with a "certain Act", or that she didn't hold up her end of the bargain? :p

Now, if I didn't hold up my end of the bargain, DH doesn't have to do things I like. You know, we women like "certain" things too.....He's got me wrapped around his finger :bow:


OH, and HIGH-FIVE Danielle!! YOU GO GIRL!! :evil grin:

[TheRealMacGyver]

You girls got my head in the gutter on this one, I have to go now....BYE

[lovinwaves]

You girls got my head in the gutter on this one, I have to go now....BYE

:ROTFLMAO:

[DaniCPST]

:whistle:

[Morganthe]

I think men have it much worse because we have nothing to offer as "bait":D

Oh yes you guys do! You've just never thought seriously of it.

Feats of Manly strength and potential child care or housekeeping will bait me in a heartbeat!
Be still my beating heart, dh cleaned, vacuumed, cooked dinner, got dd into the bath & then bedtime all by himself while I was somewhere out having some precious freetime with the girls.
Oh honey! :love: :love: :love:
(Never happen, but I can fantasize, right? ;) )


FWIW, I don't bribe either, I just thought I'd input a much better offering than money since it was brought up in the 2nd & 3rd posts :p I do the bills too and manage to stash money away for stuff dd needs & uses. No sneaking around. I present the options & facts to dh and he'll usually agree with me since I'm really a tightwad these days. I'm saving up for that Recaro coming out this summer & DH is all for it too :thumbsup:

[CRS]

LOL I don't bribe my husband with anything. He knows I am passionate about what I do and my cause(s) and he supports me all the way. He leaves all the research up to me and knows I don't make choices lightly and of course, one of his biggest priorities is keeping the kids safe too!

[Starlight]

I don't bribe, and even if I did, it wouldn't be with sex. Just feels weird doing that.

If there is something I really really want, I start talking it up. "Wow, Babe, check out this carseat! Look at the cover, ooh, that would so totally match your truck! Eek, it's 269!" A couple of days later, walking through Walmart. "Ugh, I just hate the selection of carseats. Look at how uncomfy they are. And who really likes this plaid color?" A few days later... "Hey, honey, remember that one seat we saw, with the neat cover? Did you know that it did blah blah blah!" The next day "Ooooh, I found that seat on sale, so I bought it! I got a great deal, too!"

And, if I really think I'm in hot water, I offer to use my savings for whatever he's been after (rather than 269, i paid for my 1st NIB MA $241, 2nd NIB $68, 3rd NIB MA $159), like a tv or shoes or whatever. But for the most part, if there is something I want for the children, my dh knows that I wouldn't even mention it to him if I hadn't already made up my mind. But I'm pretty good about finding a deal, which makes it worthwhile for him.

[jen_nah]

I usually just tell him and buy it or I tell him after I bought it. My take it I work harder then he does as my job is 24/7/365 with no breaks. I don't need his permission to go clothes shopping for our girls then why should I need his permission to buy something that will keep our children safe.

But, I must say my dh is just as much of a crazy as I am. He even calls the police on drivers that don't have their child(ren) restrained. My that is why we have had 17 carseats for 2 children in 5 1/2yrs and going to be ordering another here this summer.

[mominabigtruck]

I must be one of the lucky ones because I control all of our money and he's the one on the allowance. I don't even tell him if I'm going to buy something, and honestly he doesn't pay that much attention so he doesn't notice unless I leave the box on the porch for him to take care of. Now that doesn't mean that sex doesn't work for other things, if I want him to work a 6 day week I have to come up with something as incentive for when he gets home.

[SamPacey&Joshua]

Crash test videos...that did the trick with my partner. She read a few things and didn't say anything else about it (extended rear-facing), but the second she seen the crash test videos, she was 100% on board. Now, she asks me questions sometimes and will rant and rave with me about misuse we see, lol.

[joolsplus3]

Ha ha....None of that works on my DH! He's smarter than the average bear, I guess. That, and he's 56 yrs old!!!!:p

I just tell him we need something and I buy it. Done. And I am a SAHM, no income of my own, but I take care of all the kid stuff, so it's MY job to know what we need. If we need a new %#@$** (whatever gizmo) for the computer that costs $150, he gets it without my consent- that's his arena.


Hehe, me too... hey, my dh is 58..... we bicker at each other when he buys computer stuff or tools, he teases me about the carseats all over the house, but it's not like he'd not 'allow' me to buy something for the kids if I thought it was right to buy. (uh, and ebay and a little bit of sex DO go a long way, too, I will agree...)

:)

[JaRylan]

Do all of the above and start hoarding the Canadian Tire money.;) Is he usually pretty generous with Mother's Day and anniversary presents? Or if you don't get the seat for one of those occasions there is always Father's day coming up. "Honey, I know Father's Day is still months away, but I saw something I couldn't resist, hope you like it."

[lovinwaves]

It's nice to know my Husband isn't the only "Cradle Robber" :whistle:

[CRS]

It's nice to know my Husband isn't the only "Cradle Robber" :whistle:

Why? What's your age difference?

[lovinwaves]

Why? What's your age difference?

11 years... He is 37 and I am 26. :)

[DaniCPST]

I must be one of the lucky ones because I control all of our money and he's the one on the allowance. I don't even tell him if I'm going to buy something, and honestly he doesn't pay that much attention so he doesn't notice unless I leave the box on the porch for him to take care of. Now that doesn't mean that sex doesn't work for other things, if I want him to work a 6 day week I have to come up with something as incentive for when he gets home.
I control ALL of our money too. My husband doesn't even know when he gets paid or how much for the most part. I spend what I want on whatever I want as long as all the bills are paid and money is allocated where it should be. He does not care what so ever. But when it comes to things that are over a certain amount, like lets say $300 or $400, it is common courtesy in our marriage to let the other person know we are dropping that kind of money on something that is a want and not a need.

[Starlight]

We're 8, almost 9 yrs apart, here.

Wouldn't be so bad, except that my parents are only a few years older than dh (my Dad, is only 5 yrs older, Mom a little more.)

We also married when I was 22, which makes some people look twice.

[mominabigtruck]

We're 8, almost 9 yrs apart, here.

Wouldn't be so bad, except that my parents are only a few years older than dh (my Dad, is only 5 yrs older, Mom a little more.)

We also married when I was 22, which makes some people look twice.

How old was your dad then when you were born?:confused:

[DaniCPST]

How old was your dad then when you were born?:confused:

I *think* that would put him around 14?? If she is 8-9 years younger than her hubby and her dad is 5 years older than him......I have no clue if that's right...but I think it is.:confused: :o

[lovinwaves]

LOL!! this reminds me of one of those riddles! I was never good at those :rolleyes:

[southpawboston]

I of course didn't hold up my part of the bargain but it did work...because I did get the van he said I would never get the following weekend. That deal still works even though he should know by know I never follow through with my promises.:p

That is soooo wrong:thumbsdown:

nothing a little enforcement won't take care of. :evil grin:

[Starlight]

Close. He was 15.

Of course, he is technically my step-dad, but he raised me, so he's Dad.

My biological parents were 18 when I was born, and my step-mom, 14.

My parents were a little weirded out with my choice of husbands. But whatever. My dh is the youngest 32 yr old I know.

[mommy2jana]

It's nice to know my Husband isn't the only "Cradle Robber" :whistle:

Another "cradle robber" here....my df is 10.5 yrs older than me! He'll be 35 Friday and I'm 24 (25 in Oct). :p

[Momto1bigkiddo]

count me in the ''cradle robery'' too. lol My husband is 11 years older than me, I'm 22 and he just turned 33. :p

[chaoticoctopus]

Jeez, I've re-typed this post about 4 times, trying to find some way to say it without making my hubby come off like a butt-head. :o He's not (always), but in this instance I was pretty frustrated with him.

I did the research, and he really didn't want to hear any of it. I felt he was being unreasonable and uncooperative, so I told him that until he at least *listened* to some of the research I'd done (the *least* I should expect in our marriage), or did some research himself to disprove my facts (fat chance!), his opinion didn't count.

His issue was the money, not carseat safety. He couldn't see the difference between a $50 seat and the $200 Radian I ended up buying (the Radian ROCKS, by the way! :love: ). But he didn't want to hear me out on *why* it was the best seat for our dd, either. He likes it well enough now that the money's spent and forgotten, and uses it correctly, but it was a hard sell.

He wasn't keen when I wanted to put our 7 & 9 y/o children back in high-back boosters shortly after that, either. $20 backless boosters, he was ok with. But $100/ea. for 2 Parkways... :rolleyes: Here we go again! He behaved about the same he had before, and I put the same challenge to him-- basically, step up, or shut up.

Probably not your ideal way to handle disagreements in general in a marriage, but considering my usually unassertive personality, and his *unusual* bullheadedness on this subject, this ended up being good for us.

BTW, I got the Radian for $179 (US), and the PWs for $79 and $84. :D

[Morganthe]

count me in the ''cradle robery'' too. lol My husband is 11 years older than me, I'm 22 and he just turned 33. :p

LOL -- I have the opposite situation and very happy for it. My dh is almost 3 years younger than me :p I"ve had it the reverse and after my first marriage died, I found guys my age or younger were much more interesting & adaptable to my personality than staid older guys who always tried to act like a father figure even when they were only a month or two older than me. :rolleyes:

This is confusing math, but my father is 2 weeks younger than dh's maternal grandmother. :D DH's aunt is the exact same age as my older brother. I never call her aunt, it's just way too strange :p

DH is also on an automatic monthly stipend into his own separate bank account that's for all his essentials such as gas & lunch money. Saves me the frustration of tracking down $3 charges for candy bars. And it's nice for when he has to leave on very short notice for work duties. I can deposit more when he needs it without worrying about 2 checkbooks/debit cards to the main account with limited communication. As long as he has money, he doesn't care how it's divied up :p

[all together ooky]

If there is something I really really want, I start talking it up. "Wow, Babe, check out this carseat! Look at the cover, ooh, that would so totally match your truck! Eek, it's 269!" A couple of days later, walking through Walmart. "Ugh, I just hate the selection of carseats. Look at how uncomfy they are. And who really likes this plaid color?" A few days later... "Hey, honey, remember that one seat we saw, with the neat cover? Did you know that it did blah blah blah!" The next day "Ooooh, I found that seat on sale, so I bought it! I got a great deal, too!"

.

This is what I always do. My husband's first reaction to anything spendy or out of the ordinary is always negative. Then a few day/weeks later he'll sort of come around. I've just learned that if I want something I have to let him know way ahead of time. I remember when I brought up homebirth...now he's totally for it and can't wait to do it again.

[Mumoflittleguys]

I did the research, and he really didn't want to hear any of it. I felt he was being unreasonable and uncooperative, so I told him that until he at least *listened* to some of the research I'd done (the *least* I should expect in our marriage), or did some research himself to disprove my facts (fat chance!), his opinion didn't count.

His issue was the money, not carseat safety. He couldn't see the difference between a $50 seat and the $200 Radian I ended up buying (the Radian ROCKS, by the way! :love: ). But he didn't want to hear me out on *why* it was the best seat for our dd, either. He likes it well enough now that the money's spent and forgotten, and uses it correctly, but it was a hard sell.


My DH is extremely similar. His theory is that Big fits in a booster, and was holding still just fine in the store, why wouldn't he do just fine in the car? DH has obviously never driven anywhere with Big in a booster. I have. Once. No way on the planet is that happening again until he is much older.

He didn't see the difference between the cheap seat and the expensive seat, and while he initially said he didn't think we'd ever have to put 3 seats across, he kept asking if we'd be able to, and thought I was just trying to get the more expensive seat when I said no.:confused:

Anyway, he agreed to it, and our Radian for $179 should arrive tomorrow.

And his cradle robbery is minimal compared to some. ;) He's only 4.5 years older than me, but we got married right after I turned 20.

[Dillipop]

There's some cradle robbery going on here, too. DH is almost 9 years older than me. He is 36 and I'm 27.

To get seats, I mostly just ask/tell DH we're getting them. Our first purchase was the marathon, which I told him we needed because the tether on the titan wouldn't reach the anchors in our new van. Then there was the husky when DH totalled the car with the century accell in it and we needed a seat to fit in the replacement subaru with long belt stalks and since the husky allows reverse belt path, we needed it. Then we needed the radian because it could fold for travel and that was just cool. The safeguard was my easiest sell, since I found it new on Craigslist for $40.

DH usually just goes along with what I think we need for the kids. We talk about it, but he figures that if I have my heart set on something, it will probably arrive as soon as I find the best deal.

[momof2kiddos]

My husband really did rob the cradle though.. I was 15 and he was 18 :)

[Yoshi]

I was 30 when I met my DH, he was 45. I was FAR from the cradle, ha ha. He was divorced, I was a single mom. I thought he was 35-he looked younger, still does. We have been together 11 yrs.
He is actually 2 yrs OLDER than my step-dad. :p (my mom is 13 yrs older than him)

[BudgieStew]

I talk about desired item a lot give the pros of why we need said item.
Then I sell things on Craigslist or baby carriers/diapers online to fund said item.
DD is our last child so I have no reason to hold onto all these baby items as she outgrows them.
I try to only buy things out of this account as I have a shopping thing happening and would rather not drain our bank account.

Sometimes certain sexual err acts come into play if DH is not willing to use the money from my sales :whistle: say if its for something really not needed like a new baby carrier when I already have 6 or a Tripp Trapp.
But really if I don't buy something tangible with it...it will just get spent on something silly.

If none of these work like selling enough to buy it and its a totally needed item not just a want I take the child benefit money that Canada gives us each month and buy it or at least put that money towards it..

But he is totally on board with me buying the car seats that we need for our children.he just wants to make sure that I do not blow the budget doing so.
He might not have been as impressed that I bought a second cover for our Marathon but....

DD's Marathon was bought from selling our Arms Reach Co-sleeper and our Infant car seat.
DS was supposed to get his Radian in January, then his stroller died and we ended up having to buy one. I walk DS to daycare each day and its a hike even more so in the winter so it needs to be a good one.

Now I keep delaying the Radian hoping it will go on sale and saving our Canadian Tire money...DH really has no choice though as DS is outgrowing both his car seats and even if we were just going to do the bare minimum he is not even close to that for a long while yet.

ETA Cradle robbing what age age is considered cradle robbing? I saw some people mention the age gap that DH and I have and that they considered it cradle robbing oh dear. Funny enough DH and my parents do not have that much of an age gap between them but they were young parents so its not that odd.

[Melizerd]

My hubby knows I'm the boss, I do the research. He's a smart man because he knoes If momma ain't happy noone is happy.

He wants what's safest for DS really though so he's willing to defer to my research. He doesn't care what it costs, we'll find a way.